Last night we had the 4th and final installment of our "Childbirth Education" class with dear, dear Madelyn. She really is a gem - even took time at the end of class to make sure that everyone had all of their burning questions answered before she set us free into the world to go forth and birth babies.
Except she wasn't really the one answering them. You can totally tell where I'm going with this, right? Miss Priss answered 80% of the questions people asked - and totally just cut off Madelyn (the triple-certified instructor PAID to teach this course) every time she knew an answer. For instance, Joe asked if she had any suggestions for introducing a dog to a baby, and no sooner had Madelyn opened her mouth to answer, Miss Priss just starts a-preachin':
"Well, I read...blah blah blah...buy a baby doll from Target...blah blah blah...wrap it in a washed baby blanket...blah blah blah...lay it on the floor for the dog to sniff...blah blah blah. We did it with our dog and his favorite room is now the baby's nursery...blah blah blah."
I really hate to break it to you, MP, but if there is something stuffed laying on the floor, Jake will destroy it. He will have all the stuffing out and eyeballs/other plastic parts removed faster than a NASCAR pit stop. A baby, on the other hand, is ALIVE. Something that can kick and scream and cry and confuse Mister Jake. Get over yourself. Your advice sucks.
In other Miss-Priss-sucks news, I decided that I was going "grunge" to last night's class. I was honestly so tired I probably could have gone naked and not noticed. But, in an effort to allow my classmates to keep their sight, I opted instead for a super-glam outfit consisting of these pants, a brown long-sleeved tee and a black/brown/gray WMU sweatshirt (GO BRONCOS!). I topped the look off with white socks and pink Crocs. I was truly a sight to behold.
Joe mocked me - but still allowed me to go to class dressed as such. Apparently, he didn't notice the Croc addition until we were walking into the building, at which point he burst into uncontrollable laughter and couldn't contain himself. I reminded him ever so snottily that he didn't marry me for my impeccable fashion sense, but instead for my rockin' ass...which is still quite awesome, thankyouverymuch.
So, you can imagine his response when MP waltzed into the classroom abso-friggin-lutely dressed to the nines. She was rockin' a supercute outfit AND high heels. He was laughing so hard that he almost had to leave the room for fear of looking rude. Grrr...that girl. Just my luck. She just HAAAAAD to show up looking perfect, didn't she? Ack.
Back to the original point of this post: we graduated! Which, in theory, should mean that we are armed and ready for WIP to arrive. Except as we were walking out of class, Joe turned to me and said, "Is it bad that I'm more scared now than I was before the class?"
Oh, yeah. Our kid's the luckiest. :)
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
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