Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I'll Have What He's Having.

As mentioned here, I'm not exactly Paula Deen in the making (though I do simply ah-dore her). And typically, 3 of 7 nights a week involve some sort of takeout, restaurant or fend-for-yourself-with-whatever's-not-alive-in-the-fridge for dinner.

We're slowly realizing that nights out aren't really as thrifty as they once were. I always, always look for coupons or we are smart about where we go (specials, deals-of-the-day, BOGO, etc.) so we typically dine on a dime, if you will. Hi-ev-uh, now that Mister Alex is pretty much scarfing down anything that's not nailed to his highchair tray, dinners out get a little more pricey. Sure, most kids' menus range from $3-6, but multiply that by a few nights a week and we're talking lobstah dinnah, people!

And so, my search for "kids eat free" nights begins. Google helped me find this resource, but it only has like 7 places in our general vicinity and it won't let you search an area, only city by city (annoying). This one isn't bad, and it's organized by day, which is nice. But no way to sort it to my liking. This one is my favorite as far as organization and ease of use - plus it looks like soon you'll be able to search by cuisine. Brills!

Basically, what it boils down to is that I'm cheap and I love to eat. And so does Alex. I love that he got the best of me. :)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I'm Sorry...

...but it's just wrong to be on the phone while using the loo. So to the lady in the handicapped stall just now (nap culprit? perhaps.), I would like to let you know that you are gross. Really, really gross.

And whoever you were talking to probably didn't appreciate the flush mid-sentence. Or the very annoying squeaksqueaksqueak of the tee pee as it unravels from the roll. Or the zip of your pants. Or the unavoidable conversation echo caused by the cinder block walls. And god forbid you let out a fart when you're chattin' it up about tonight's euchre tourney! Riveting information, truly.

It's kinda like texting and driving. No call is so important that it can't wait 4 minutes for you to whiz, flush and properly wash and dry your phalanges.

And this? Well, this right here is all sorts of wrong.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Father's Day.

Sunday was a relatively low-key day at the VeeDub household...just how we like it. In the world of gift-giving, I think I did pretty well this year. I got Joey hand-stamped silver collar stays from a sweet etsy store. One says "baby loves joey" (also on his wedding ring) and the other says "alex loves daddy". I know. Awesomesauce.

Alex got his Daddy a book called "Geek Dad." I He saw it in last month's Parenting magazine and just had to get it. It provides instructions for all sorts of cool/geeky father & son projects - like making a WORKING lamp from Legos. Again, awesomesauce.

We took a little trip to Great Lakes Crossing to visit Joe's personal Disneyland, Bass Pro Shop. We also got Mister Ragamuffin's hair cut. Behold:

Sleeping pre-haircut.

Being awesome during haircut.

Sleeping post-haircut.

 Best. Kid. Ever. He also happens to have the best Daddy, ever. I love my life.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Lights Out.

The lights in the restrooms @ work are on timed motion detectors. That is, they automatically turn off after a period of non-movement (5 minutes or more) to conserve energy and save moolah.

When I went to take my afternoon whiz, the lights turned on as I opened the door. Movement! So just imagine my surprise when I heard a sneeze in the handicapped stall. After a sneak peek under the door, I confirmed that someone (wearing very cute red alligator high heels) was sitting in the chair that's parked in the handicapped stall.

Isn't that super weird? I went in a few minutes later to make sure it wasn't a dead body and the red high heels were gone. And don't think I didn't walk the halls casually looking at everyone's feet to find the culprit, because I did. No luck.

I don't know about you, but I usually take my naps/breaks in my car. Or in a conference room. Or anywhere that's NOT a bathroom.

Le gross.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Hamsters On A Plane.

So Cait and I are sitting on the plane, ready for takeoff. Cabin doors are closed. Overhead bins are in lockdown mode. iPods and cell phones powered down. You know, the uge prep for takeoff.

We're chatting in our seats about the shenanigans we plan to cause, sights we plan to see, po boys we plan to eat, etc. etc. and all of the sudden, we notice some commotion in the row in front of us across the aisle.

Because we were deeply engaged in conversation, we missed the exacts of the initial confrontation, but here's basically how it went down:

Security officer (like, the real, scary deal): Sir, do you have it on the plane?
Man on plane: Yes, I can get it from overhead and place it under my seat. No problem.
Security officer (really, really pissed off): No. You cannot have it on the plane AT ALL. Gather your things and come with me immediately.

So the dude gets out of his seat and is a hot, sweaty mess. His shirt was literally dripping. Pretty sure the lady sitting next to him was real glad he got booted. Anyway, he grabbed a green bowling-bag-ish thing from the overhead and was escorted off the plane.

You can only imagine the buzz around our little seating area upon Mr. Schwetty's manhandled exit. Did he have drugs? A gun? Something else very illegal and dangerous? When the flight attendant came back to give us our exit row instructions we just had to ask what went down.

As you might have guessed, the man had a HAMSTER in the green bag. A HAMSTER. Obvi, our next question was, "How the heck did he get it through security?"

HE PUT IT ON HIS PERSON.  Like, down his shirt.

It makes perfect sense -- the X-Ray machine that all the luggage goes through would have caught it, but the metal detectors that people go through wouldn't have. And much to Mr. Schwetty's unluck, a flight attendant for OUR FLIGHT just happened to go through security right behind him and saw his trick.

I'm still uncertain as to why they let him get SO far through the process (literally, minutes before takeoff) before catching him, but it made for some really, really, really great entertainment all weekend. Cait only had to look at me and say "hamster" and I would literally laugh for 3 minutes.

And to make my life more entertaining, there was a gift shop at the gate when we landed and the featured "toy of the month" was none other than...

Friday, June 11, 2010

Some Things Never Change.

It's a running joke in my family that I wasn't exactly Betty Homemaker back in my single days. Sure, I could whip up the occasional Banana Bread (Grandma's recipe...omg thee best) and my tuna noodle cassserole would literally make your momma cry.

However, at least once a week my dinner would be (not kidding) an entire box of Stove Top and an entire bottle of red wine. It was glorious. And usually on Wednesdays. I'd give myself a mani/pedi, rock some self tanner (oh, the glories of frolicking around 1466 butt ass naked, dancing to Journey without a care in the world for whatever was jiggling), boil 2 cups of water, add some dried bread/spices and pop open le Shiraz. Best. Nights. Ever.

Tonight? Joey's at a Tigers' game with some of his hombres. Infant is asleep and Momma's sippin' a margarita and eatin' a bowl of buttered noodles.

My life is awesome.

Also? Hamster story is next. Promise.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I have returned (though exhausted) from the dirrrrrty souf. And what a trip it was! I have so many stories to share - most of which will provide solid entertainment through at least next week. In the meantime, here are some initial highlights:

Michigan really needs to get a Jamba.
On the flip side, I'd probably gain 100 lbs., so
perhaps I'm better off with the occasional
travelling Jamba.

Brad Pitt's house in NOLA. Worth a cool $5.5M.
No one was home, but I may or may not have
done a little song and dance for the security cameras
and said 'Hi!' to the whole fam-damily.

Heeelarious onesie @ Hustler. There were also ones that
said 'I'm what happened in Vegas' and
'I'm hung like a 5 year old.' I'm obviously very mature and
could NOT stop laughing. Or taking pictures.

Fun facts: the oldest established Catholic
Church in the U.S. and also Walt Disney's inspiration for
Cinderella's Castle. According to Kodak, it's the #2
picture uploaded to online albums.
Ironically, #1 is Cinderella's Castle.

I also have stories involving a hamster, public intoxication, an overzealous tour guide, nerd conventions, and of course, the (unexpected) naughtiness of NOLA.

And if that's not enough to entice you to keep coming back, Cait will be guest blogging in the weeks to come. She's decided her first entry will feature vintage 'Kristi & Caitlin' shenanigans. I can only assume she'll reference the St. Patty's Day when we literally drank all day, the period of time between 3 and 18 years of age where we wore more Wet 'N Wild bright blue eyeshadow than any woman should ever admit, or perhaps that one time we played Monopoly for six straight hours and I couldn't stop farting. Either way, you'll be amused.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Happy Friday!

Oh there is simply SO much to celebrate today. The first and most obvious, it's Friday. Word. Second, it's GIVEAWAY DAY! And third, I'm getting on a plane in about 18 hours for a weekend of shenanigans in NOLA with my bf, Caitlin. And the forecast in the dirty souf is sunny with a chance of AWESOME. For your visual entertainment today, here's some examples of what goes down when we're together:

Jim Joyce Sucks! GO TIGERS!

Putting on her makeup on my wedding day. Klassy.

My wedding day. I married my other best friend...
'cause, you know...marrying her would be awkward.

Spice Girls' World Tour. Yes, we're that awesome.

Based on the above, I can only image what pictures I'll be sharing on Tuesday from NOLA. It'll be epic, I'm sure.

In other news, who wants to know who won the giveaway?! I DO! I DO! Le winner is...

Kat from 800 months!

Congrats, girlie! Email me at kveedub{at}gmail{dot}com to claim your prize.

I'm out until Tuesday, childrens. Have a fun weekend...don't do anything I wouldn't do (which, let's be honest...probably is a short list this weekend). 

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Cycle It Forward.

This is a gratuitous post for my incredible baby brother, Kyle. Soon, he'll suit up and ride 50 miles (on a bike--crazy boy!) in an event called 'Cycle the Campus,' which raises money and awareness for His House Christian Fellowship at Saginaw Valley State University.

I can't even begin to tell you what HHCF means to me, personally...and I wasn't even a part of it! Kyle became involved as a wee freshman at SVSU and as a part of the program and its ministry he developed into an amazing man with such a passion for life, love and faith. The friends, mentors and families that he met while he was involved with HHCF remain a cornerstone in his life and are just so awesome that I can hardly stand myself when they're around. Amazing people, truly.

Honestly, I would be proud of Kyle if he ate grass (which he did when he was little, for what it's worth), but to watch him grow into the incredible man of integrity that he is today consistently blows me away. And I firmly believe with all my heart that part of his awesomeness was molded by HHCF. I don't think I tell him often enough, but he's one of the most special men in my life, and I'm so proud to call him my brother.

So why the sappy moment and the weird story about riding bikes?

I'm calling on my internet peeps to help a brotha (literally) out. Please make a (tax deductible!) pledge to support the 'Cycle the Campus' HHCS fundraiser! I don't care what it is ... $1, $5, $78,456,789 ... whatever you can afford or are moved to give. I promise to post pictures of Kyle in naughty spandex and a silly bike helmet for every dollar raised!

Click here to make a donation. Select that your donation goes a rider and choose 'Kyle Talicska' from the list of names (sorta near the bottom). Oh, and to make it easier, there's a friendly little link to PayPal, too!

And if you are not able to support with greenbacks, please keep Kyle and his rump in your prayers...I'm pretty sure 50 miles on a bike isn't really friendly on the manbits, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I Think I Can, I Think I Can...

If I survive this week it'll be a miracle, friends. We have much to do in the VeeDub household.

One thing I don't have to do? Clean. That's right, Tuesday was Fran Day...which is totally becoming my new favorite day. Yes, even better than Friday. The woman is an absolute dream. A dream, I tell you. On top of actually cleaning the joint, she organized our shoe closet. And folded the laundry that was in the dryer. And put away the dishes in the dishwasher. And cleaned my mothereffing TOASTER. THE TOASTER! She also folds the toilet paper end into a little triangle like at hotels. Seriously, love.

In related news, next week is a HUGE week at work. Ginormous, even. And guess whos bf conned her into going to New Orleans this weekend? Yes, mine. I've never been, but she's certain it's the greatest place on earth and tells me I might even remember some of le trip. Here's to coming back alive with tales to tell the internets!

Happy Hump Day!