Saturday, October 18, 2014

Harper and the Hippo.

WUT?! 12 months!?!?

Real talk: I've been in denial about it. All of these "firsts" with Harper are also "lasts" for me as a Mom, so that's been super mega weird to deal with. But we're not here for my therapy session, are we? We're here for this little lady:

Oh my. I know for 12 months all we've talked about is how happy she is - and I must repeat myself for the 12th glorious time: she's just filled to the brim with joy. That's not to say she doesn't have her own, very strong personality--because she does. This girl is fierce, she is strong, she is dramatic and she is determined. But she wears the cape and crown well and uses her powers mostly for good.

But to use an Alex-ism, there are times when she's "just not that into it." Exhibit A:

Patience is not her virtue.

In terms of other milestones, she has taken a few steps here and there, but we have yet to capture any of them on camera. Secretly I think she's waiting for a full-on YouYube contract and her 10% off the top. She's still rocking her two bottom teeth with no others in sight but will eat anything you put in front of her with reckless abandon. Current favorites are green grapes, blueberries, cheese and avocado.

Happy birthday my sweet, baby girl. The day you were born is the day our family became complete. Your Daddy, Alex and I love you a million billion and back again. You are my heart, and I am yours. xo.

Monday, October 13, 2014

A Halloween preview.

One of our most fun family traditions is going to the Detroit Zoo Boo. We've gone every year with my parents since Alex was born with the exception of last year--because, you know, I was in the hospital doing some other things--but Alex and Samuel still went with Grammi & Poppi.

This year was another great memory maker. We had fabulous weather and I must say, my ladybug and train engineer were two of the cutest trick-or-treaters around!

Tuesday, October 7, 2014


Today I am sad. I am angry. I am confused. I am heartbroken.

Last night, we learned that the baby brother of Alex's best friend at school died over the weekend. It was a SIDS-related tragedy that has left an entire family heartbroken.

Listen, I know there's a lot wrong with this world, and so much of the "big" stuff has our attention right now. And usually I'm here to write about the funny and the crazy and bring a little levity to the world. But this? This won't make the news. This won't be in the paper.

But it is here. Here for you to read about and here for you to pray over. Please pray for this mother, this father, this brother--that they may feel the peace and grace of Jesus in this time of unfathomable despair and anger.

Bless you, baby Jack. You were the sweetest little red headed bundle of joy and I will pray for your Mommy, Daddy, and brother every day. Amen.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

That one time I ran and wasn't being chased by a bear.

I have this friend. Her name is Keliann and she tricks me into agreeing to do things that I would otherwise probably not do. Like running. She has big boobs and I think she uses them to hypnotize me, but whatever.

Keliann convinced me that a 5K on my resume would be a good thing. "You'll be so proud of yourself!" she swore to me. And to make her argument more compelling, she insisted that it should be a Color Run. Because, you know, they're fun.

And so, during the wee hours of this most recent Saturday morning, I put on some ridiculously obnoxious spandex pants (violation of life #1) and a white tee shirt (#2) and ran (#3) ~3.1 miles to a loud and colorful finish line.

And you know what? It was sort of fun. And I almost liked it.

In no way does this classify me as a "runner" and you can also take it to the bank that I ate nothing but Dairy Queen the following day as a reward because all my parts and pieces hurt...but I DID it.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The #SkimmLife.

From time to time I like to share things that make my life easier and smarter to help you make your life easier and smarter. See also: beverages containing tequila, beauty products 101crafty home things, and even the occasional Halloween costume life hack.

Rarely am I serious and rarely are my helpful tips and tricks related to real life. But recently I came across a company called theSkimm--and it's my new morning addiction. It's a daily (free) email newsletter that quickly breaks down current events, world trends and pretty much anything "now"—and it’s written with snark, wit and humor. And the co-founders? Two smart, sassy ladies who are taking the news world by storm.

Click here or the image above to sign up. All you need is an email address. And that's all they'll ever ask for!

Monday, September 29, 2014

Regarding Kindergarten.

With just over 3 weeks of Kindergarten under our belts, I've taken the time and energy to come out from hiding underneath my kitchen table clutching a bottle of Don Julio to discuss how our world has changed. Kindergarten is a wonderful, magical place. But there's also a shitload of crap that nobody really wants to talk to you about. But me? Oh you know I want to talk about it.

First, we'll discuss the restroom. Oh yes. Kindergartners still go poop, did you know that? And did you also know that because of the relatively sick and twisted world we live in, they're pretty much left to their own devices to do this? Alex knows how to wipe himself, make no mistake about that. But if the kid who sits next to him doesn't know how? Dear Lord. A situation.

Next, let's discuss lunch. Alex attends before (and after) school latchkey, so in addition to hot lunch, he's also offered a hot breakfast. Nice, right? I've noted before that he has a hollow leg and will eat anything that's not nailed down, so getting him to eat the school food is not the problem. Getting him to not eat ALL the school food is the problem. You see, he has an online account that I place funds in, and every time he visits his girlfriends (aka the lunch ladies) they deduct money from his account. Either he's eating very, very well, or I'm funding the head chef's 2015 family trip to Greece.

Recess is a whole 'nother situation. They play outside, sure. But where? When? I have no idea. And if he forgets to bring home one more jacket I'll probably lose my mind.

I cannot even discuss the PTO at this moment in time. Don Julio and I will be back for another sesh on that in a week or so. At the end of the day, it's very nice people doing very nice things. But the efficiency-obsessed Type A in me just doesn't have the patience.

In summary, Alex is loving everything about Kindergarten. He's certain he's going to marry his teacher someday and is really thriving. I'm so proud of him. As for me? I also love his teacher, but will stop short of a marriage proposal. I also have control issues that I'm working through and wishing for the easy, scheduled days with Aunt Jane.

I try to be a very "go with the flow" kind of person, and I swear I'm not a helicopter Mom...but I really just miss him. I miss knowing the names and faces of all his friends and getting all of his silly inside jokes. This is why I'd like to just strap a Go Pro to his head and call it a day. Do you think the public school system would be into that?

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Harper and the hippo.

ELEVEN MONTHS...exsqueeze moi? How am I already planning a 1st birthday party for this bundle of sass?! It's not just a river in Egypt, is what I'm saying.

Oh that mischievous little look on her face says it ALL about 11 months. She very much understands the word "no" and very much does not like to hear it. She has the BEST b*tch face and if she didn't put on such a show every time the cameras came out, I'd have a photo of it here to share with you. (Diva,  I'm telling you.) Want a mental picture? Imagine Grumpy Cat but that face above. That's as accurate as I can get with it.

Other notable updates include a TOOTH! She's got one rogue little chomper coming through on her bottom gums and if her crankiness and fondness of chewing on everything of late is any indication, there's a whole set of dentures to follow shortly.

Also, she thinks she can walk...and while I admire her persistence, the reality of the situation is that she cannot walk. Hence the recent meeting of her forehead with the business end of our kitchen cabinets:

One thing is for certain: this girl is confident if nothing else. Where Alex was a shy, reserved and quiet baby, Harper would like everyone to know she's in the room and to pay attention to her always. I suppose she gets that from her Dad? Ha.

Happy 11 months, our sweet girl! Your bright eyes and sweet smile continue to brighten the world, our world.

P.S. - Here's Alex at 11 months for comparison.