Prep The Elbow.

So I'm walking out of Subway today at runchtime (yeah...I can stomach it again) carrying/balancing 1 bag of sammitches, 2 chips and 2 drinks in my chub-a-licious paws.

While fumbling around in my pockets to find my car keys, I clumsily dropped the keys in the middle of the parking lot.

Oh good Lord. How am I going to maintain balance of the foodstuffs I am carrying AND bend over to pick the keys up off the ground?

Note: it's probably been weeks since I've been able to bend on my own. Joey picks up everything I drop at home (which is a lot) and when he's not around, others usually have sympathy on the prego girl and will get the felled item for me.

I managed to swing it, but it took me a little longer than it would a person of normal midsection size. And you know what? Some effing d-bag totally HONKED AT ME. As in, "Honk, honk. You're taking too long, lady. Get out of my way."

Seriously.

The look I shot that loser might have stopped his heart for 2-5 seconds - I was like that Ice Girl from X-Men. I picked up my keys, rebalanced my armful of food/beverages, looked up at him, pointed to my tum-tum and then looked glared back at him with the evilest of eyes.

And then took baby steps the rest of the way to my car, probably causing him to have an aneurysm. He's lucky I didn't get his plate numbers.