Pinch Me.

Am I still alive? Did we survive registering?

The answers are yes and barely. In that order.

It should be known that I am married to the king of research. I'm not joking when I tell you he renewed his subscription to "Consumer Reports" before we did our bridal registry because he was freaked out that our dustbuster would suck (pun intended) or that our china pattern would have poor customer reviews.

As far as the wedding registry goes, we totally survived. (Well, if you ignore that one time he almost had a mental breakdown in Bed, Bath and Beyond because we couldn't agree on a shower curtain. Or when I started crying because the soap dispenser I wanted was being discontinued. Come see our bathroom now...it's very nice, I assure you.)

Don't get me wrong, we love shopping together. In fact, I'm quite sure I've only been to the grocery story without him on 2 occasions. And the one time he went without me it because I was on the couch seconds from death, and he was fetching popsicles and Gatorade. We're a team, and a damn good one at that.

For some reason registering for WIP had me at my wits end. I chalk most of it up to my raging hormones and plummeting concentration levels, but whatev. Add that to Joe's compulsive need to have the best of the best (which I adore and appreciate, btw) and we were a wreck. Pots, pans, bedsheets and candles were easy-peasy for the wedding, but I think we both felt that if we got the wrong carseat or high chair that our child might spontaneously self-combust.

So here's what I propose to the world...and it's an amazing idea, so brace yourself. I think there should be 3 standards for baby registries: Gold, Silver and Bronze. Parents that want everrrrything from wipe warmers to organic bedsheets would register for the Gold registry. Simply scan one barcode, type in your name, pick the sex of your baby (if applicable) and VIOLA! - instant baby registry with everything you could possibly ever need. Silver would have all the bare necessities with a few extras and the Bronze would just be enough to keep your kid alive.

It's brilliant. Kind of like Barney's "Lemon Law" for dating on "How I Met Your Mother." It's a legendary idea...here's hoping it takes off.