The Laziest Post, Ever.

So, I'm suuuuuuuure you've all seen those "25 Things" notes going around Facebook like lice in a classroom...and I've finally given in. I was tagged approximately 92 times, so here goes: (A direct copy/paste job from my profile. So, so lazy.)

1. I LOVE wearing the color black. To those who say it’s not a color, or that it’s the combination of all colors—whatever. If it weren’t for friends/Joey always encouraging me to buy other colors, I would always, always, always dress in black…at least black shirts. And I’m not gothic or anything. I just feel pretty in black. Maybe it’s the hair?

2. I would eat nacho cheese on anything. Literally, anything. I would even eat nacho cheese covered in nacho cheese.

3. Once, an elephant snotted on my stomach. Seriously. We were in Thailand at a zoo and the elephant guy asked for volunteers to help with a trick. My hand shot up and before I knew it I was lying on the ground with an elephant hovering over me. It stopped to gently rest every limb on my belly as it walked OVER me – and then finished by putting its trunk on my belly and blowing snot crap on my shirt. Despite how disgusting it sounds, it was so freakin’ cool.

4. If I was a billionaire I would pay Pontiac to retrofit their assembly lines and custom build me a 2001 Yellow Aztek. I miss that car more than words can ever express. Damn you, semi truck!

5. I was bit by a tick when I was 3 and got Lyme’s Disease. As a result of said disease, I can’t really recall any childhood memories from ages 3-5, save one trip to the hospital when Kelli gave me Bear Bear to protect me. That’s seriously all I have in the memory bank.

6. I love to write, but am pretty sure I don’t have the concentration to write a book, though I have thought about it. Instead, I’ve condensed my daily ridiculousness into this blog, and I've become rather attached to it.

7. I do not believe in outer space. I never will. Do not try to convince me.

8. I LOVE vacuuming so much that it’s almost sick. It actually saddens me that our house is mostly hardwood floors. In turn, the Swiffers get a lot of use.

9. I never brushed my teeth at night until I married Joe. He thought it was gross. I now agree. Surprisingly, I have great teeth.

10. I could eat plain, cooked egg noodles for every meal, every day. Or, covered in nacho cheese.

11. High School was the biggest waste of time and energy, ever. And, truth be told, only 1 semester of college was actually necessary to get me by in my professional life. The rest was just for fun.

12. There is only one secret that I have that no one in my whole life knows about. Not my sister. Not my husband. Not my best friend. Nobody but me. I will take it to my grave.

13. I never, ever, ever thought that any man would ever measure up to the pedestal that I have my dad on. Then I met Joe.

14. I love the smell of coconut but hate the flavor.

15. Jeans with stretch are probably the greatest thing ever invented. I buy a pair of jeans on every third shopping trip. This cannot be controlled.

16. I’m not entirely sure what I did with my spare time before the internet.

17. I loathe details. In any situation, just give me the facts/what I need to know. I will figure the rest out.

18. At any given time, there are no less than 3 different types of shampoo/conditioner in my shower. I feel it’s in the best interest of my locks to rotate. (Little-known tips from Topanga!)

19. I love to travel…specifically to resorts on the beach in faraway places. The weird part is that I hate the beach. I will spend ALL my time by the pool…but the resort MUST have a beach.

20. I’ve always wanted to be a blonde.

21. If MTV could make a show out of my inner monologues, I’m pretty sure I’d be rich. Then I could get my Aztek.

22. I want to have Lasik surgery more than anything else on the earth but am certain I will be that 1 in 1,000,000 statistic that goes blind.

23. To that point, if I had to choose to be either deaf or blind, I would choose to be deaf.

24. I want a tattoo but am pretty sure I’m not cool enough for it. I even have it designed…drew it at a bar before a Spice Girls’ concert.

25. Yeah. I went to a Spice Girls concert…and it was AWESOME.

AAAHHHH so my friend Allison TOTALLY reminded me of the weirdest fact about me that I inadvertently left off the list. (Pregnant brain, maybe?) Anyway, here it is:

26. This one time...at summer camp...(true story) I was found ASLEEP 1 approximately 1 mile from my cabin in the middle of the night. I had an issue with sleepwalking and some genius thought it smart to put me in the bunk next to the door. I don't recall anything, except waking up just before they found me and screaming/crying hysterically. I was in therapy for 1 year following this incident. After that, I was always in the bunk farthest from the door at camp and my counselors would lock the doors at night. Serious.