Friday, January 29, 2010

The Ways Of The World.

So, I usually consider myself to be "hip" and "young" and "down wit' 'dat" and all the other things that twentysomethings are saying/doing/wearing these days. Mostly, I embrace it because my twenties are dwindling away faster than Heidi Montag's original features...but I digress.

Google Reader. Tell me more. I'm so intrigued. I know many of you use it, and to be honest, I'm probably like one of six people on planet blog that don't. But I'm very particular about how I read my daily stalks blogs. I like to open each blog from my Blogger dashboard into a separate tab in IE. Yes, I still use IE. Don't even go there with me. It's an innate part of my OCD blogging routine that I just can't seem to shake. I like to actually visit the homepage of my favorite bloggers to see if they've changed their backgrounds or navigation bars or pictures...or anything, really. It's like blogging crack. And from what I understand, I would only see new posts (and pictures that are in posts?) in Google Reader. Is this truthiness?

High-ev-uh, if this Google Reader thing is very cool and something I can /should/must get into, I'm willing to try it. Do you use it? Do you like it?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

'A' For Effort.

Click here for an excellent, hilarious read. Better than anything I could have provided today, that's for friggin' sure.

'D' for execution.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hot Mess.

I've just not been myself all week and I can't seem to find my mojo anywhere. My hair? A messy pile of a wash-and-go ponytail. Clothes? Standard sweaters and dress pants with no creativity in the realm of successories. Makeup? Foundation, mascara and lip gloss if you're lucky. Dinner? If it can be microwaved or ordered, I'm in. Exercise? Currently using the treadmill to hold the pizza boxes from Monday's dinner.

Basically, my life is a sight for sore eyes right now. Neverfear, though...'twill be back very, very soon. These funks usually last 4-5 days until I'm back to my cheerful, sarcastic self.

In the meantime, I shall tell a hilarious tale from the trenches of Corporate America. Allow me to set the stage for you: A co-worker (whom we shall refer to henceforth as "Tina") and I are desperately trying to hook a fellow friend and co-worker (whom we shall refer to as "Beth") up with an anonymous young chap from the 4th floor legal department. Yes, a lawyer. Yes, single. Yes, cute. Yes, snappy dresser. No, not gay.

So I'm telling "Beth" of my woes as listed above and she pipes back with, "Well, I personally wore a skirt today so we could go shopping for printer toner on the 4th floor."

HIGH-LARIOUS. I shall now spend my morning wandering to and fro the 4th floor supply room with Bethinaskirt so that we can scope out the goods.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Exciting Recent Life Events.

1. We moved Alex's crib down a notch this weekend. It was a strange reminder that he's growing faster than we ever thought imaginable, but totally necessary if we are to avert the reality of waking up and finding him running crawling wild through the house like a party animal.

2. Panera no longer carries their decadent double chocolate cookies. Those cookies were the only thing I craved when I was PG, well, except for the random 2 times I really, really, really, really wanted a tuna fish sammitch. So, I guess Panera has made the decision for us. We will be a family of three for all of eternity. I simply cannot go through another pregnancy without those cookies.

3. I'm quite sure I've performed a triple Salchow (also announced by Brian Boitano as a "sow cow") on the whole driving to CT thing. Meaning I've completely changed my mind. We'll be flying now. Why, you ask? Because yesterday when I told Joe it was 12 hours (not the 8 he thought), he immediately threw his wallet at me and told me to book the tickets. Travelocity, here I come!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Caffeine Fix.

No time for the real thing, so I tried Starbucks Via Ready Brew this morning.

Honestly, it's not that bad. It certainly beats the crap coffee in the break rooms. The only downside is that each packet is portioned for 8 oz. of water. Which is fine for you European types that like a teeny weeny cup of java, but this girl prefers a giant travel-size mug. Solution? Two Via packets. Thank the lawd they sell them at Costco.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Looking for incredibly adorable & personalized Valentines for your little one? Visit bleu soleil design's esty shop to see some of my faves!

And in case you were wondering, Alex will be sharing his love via the variety pack. I placed a special order for the standard size notecards so that they could be mailed. I love, love, love the idea of the mini cards, but Alex has too many Valentines far, far away that we must mail our love to.

Hallmark Holiday, schmallmark holiday. I love spreading the love!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

To Drive Or Not To Drive?

That is the question.

Joey, Alex and I are going to CT to visit Kelli and David at the end of March. If you remember, Alex and I made the trip with my Mom back in October and did quite well barely survived.

After said trip, I vowed to never, ever make that drive again. God invented planes for a reason. Most likely because toll roads are evil, but I digress. No person should have to sit in a car for eleventy billion hours just to see her sister! It's preposterous!

I began searching for plane tickets for the March trip about a month ago. The prices are reasonable, and truth be told, we probably wouldn't save any money by driving. We have gas guzzling SUVs and both feel the strange urge to stock up on $20 worth of various road trip foods and/or collectible paraphernalia at pretty much every really, flying would probably be cheaper in the long run.

And then I remembered Alex. Yesyesyesyes...the little Mister that throws a wrench in my plans to casually arrive at the airport 30 minutes before boarding with nothing but a cardigan and an oversized purse with me.

Flying with a toddler (he will be by then) seems to complicate things. I'll have to check a stroller. And a carseat. And keep him quiet on the plane (which, let's be honest, I would do with the help of my friend Benadryl). And pack snacks for the trip. And diapers. And wipes. And toys.

We'd have to install the carseat in Kelli's car when she picks us up from the airport. We'd need to take that car with us everywhere we went, leaving Kelli without a car for the week (she still has to work while we're out there). We'd have to uninstall the carseat at the airport when we leave. And begin the whole thing again...

I mean, really. The entire process gives me a headache. So I'm going to say something I never thought I'd say: I think the better (and easier) choice is to drive to CT.

Le sigh. Common sense wins again.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Where Does The Time Go?

A lot can happen in nine months. Joe and I dated for nine months before we were engaged. We were engaged for nine months before we were married.  Nine seems to be a good number for us.

This also happened to us over a nine month period. Well, it happened to me, but in the interest of "family togetherness" I'll say "us."


And take a look at what's transpired over the last nine months:

My little man has sprouted like a bean before our very eyes! Mr. WIPpo went from seeming like a giant, stuffed hippo to being Alex's best pal. I know it's horribly cliche and that every mom says it...but really - where does the time go?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The One Where I Really Embarrass My Husband.

Joey was diagnosed with sleep apnea a few eeons before he met me, and was prescribed one of those breathing machine thing-a-ma-doodles (technical name, yes) to help him sleep better and keep from snoring/choking himself awake every 10 minutes.

Image source. No, this is not actually Joe. I would not marry a man that sleeps in manjamas.

Yes. That's seriously what they look like - and to make the visual more appealing, Joey actually has the one that plugs right into his notrils. He tells me it's the "cooler" if. You'd think with all the advances in modern medicine that they could make these things a little more, um, attractive. For crying out loud, REGIS uses one! And we wonder why I was Joey's first serious girlfriend after this machine?

Anyway, the CPAP (Continous Positive Airway Pressure) machine (yes, I Googled it) got packed away quite awhile ago. He seemed to be cured of the dreaded snoring...and the nights where it was bad, a simple Breathe Right strip would do the trick.

However...about 3 weeks ago he started choke-snorting me awake every 20 minutes. Being the ever-so-charming and loving wife that I am, I would thwop him in the side, which would work for a hot minute until he began waking the neigborhood with his snores again. The more he would do it, the more irritated I became. The more irritated I became, the harder it was to fall back asleep. You can see where this is going?

Last week, as a matter of life or death, the machine came out of retirement. I've never slept sounder in all my life. Joe is also sleeping much better and is so much more energetic throughout the day. Win. Win.

Our nightly routine now consists of me laughing hysterically at him for at least 5 minutes while he puts on his Darth Vader mask. The "Kristi, I am your husband" jokes never get old, and I'm quite sure I've made more than twelve "Night At The Museum 2" references.

"There's just too much going on here. You're evil. You're asthmatic. You're a robot. And why the cape? Are we going to the opera?"

Monday, January 18, 2010

Alex And The WIPpo.

Mister Alex has officially been on the outside as long as he was on the inside. I know it's strange, but I feel like he's been around for longer than I was pregnant...which is weird because I felt like I was pregnant for 3 about days longer than eternity.

"Well, hello there, Mommy. This routine again?"

"Hmm...this is certainly interesting."


Somehow, the WIPpo ear always ends up in his mouth...

I'll give you a moment to recover from the cuteness. In the meantime, here are the stats from his 9 month checkup, which was this morning.

9 Month Checkup - Weight: 19 lbs. 9 oz. (25-50th %ile); Length: 28.5 in. (50-75th %ile); Head: 46 cm. (50/75th %ile)
6 Month Checkup - Weight: 17 lbs. 5.5 oz (50th %ile); Length: 27 in. (75th %ile); Head: 44 cm. (50th %ile)

We can now start adding proteins to his diet,a so I bought a few jars of the stage 2 meats on our Target run, gross. I realize my son needs to eat and grow so I will feed him this crap but SERIOUSLY. No wonder children grow up and rebel. I would too if I was forced to eat that poo.

In unrelated news, Joey and I bought the new Super Mario Bros. game for Wii. I can't stop playing it. What's even cooler is that by the time Alex is old enough to play with me I will have mastered it and can challenge him in a save-the-Princess marathon and CREAM him!! :) I'm such a cool mom.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


So...I can't post Alex and WIPpo pictures until Monday because my Mother-in-Law accidentally took our camera home last night instead of hers...and the pics are on it.


Friday, January 15, 2010

Happy Birthday!

Happy XXth (<--on purpose) birthday to the love of my life. The Splenda in my Starbucks. The Reeses in my Peanut Butter Cup. The Pinot in my Grigio.

Love you, babe.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


I have a superduper monster of a headache. Probably due to the lack of caffeine pumping through my system, but I'm trying the whole water thing today. Ugh.

On the bright side, tomorrow is a BIG day - it's Joey's birthday AND Alex and the WIPpo day! How will I survive the madness?!

Speaking of madness, Target now posts its coupons online. Click here for the current coupons, or just click the "Coupons" tab from the homepage. There's even a cool calculator on the main page that will tally your savings as you check the coupons you want to print. This week there is $116.94 available in savings.You're welcome.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Toot. Toot.

I made this for dinner last night and it was SCRUMPTIOUS. The word "easy" was in the working title of the recipe, so I really couldn't resist. I used about a 2 lb. roast, though, because 4 could feed us for a week. I also added 'shrooms, because we love us some 'shrooms in the VW house. Not like THAT, sillies!

There's just something about walking in the front door (after a heinous day at work) to the smell of a delicious dinner that's ready to eat. If Yankee could bottle that scent up for a candle they'd make bazillions!

In unrelated news, the disgusting and mysterious at-work nail clipper is back with a vengeance. And since I sit mostly near dudes, odds are good that it's a grown man clip, clip, clipping his scurvy nails in my very presence. Seriously. Who does that? Save it for the privacy of your own home, man!

In other unrelated news, I did some more research and it seems that the minimum requirement for Locks of Love is 10 inches, not 8 as I mentioned in this post. Would it be weird to start taking my prenatal vitamins again to help it grow faster?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Hey, Mom!

Look what I can do!

Looks like it's officially time to babyproof the VW house!

Hear Me ROAR!

So yesterday I did something totally out of the ordinary for me: I shoveled the driveway.

I know what most of you are thinking...lame. But what you don't understand is this is a huge accomplishment for me. You see, in the VW household, we have rules. I don't do "hard jobs." This generally falls under the category of things that are too heavy, complicated, or boring for me to do myself. These are Joey's jobs, and are usually filed under: mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, cooking meat on the grill, plunging toilets and fixing things.

Call me lame. Call me a wuss. Call me a diva. Whatever the word, I don't care.

However, yesterday I had the extremely rare urge to do something physical. Jillian and I are fighting, so I don't dare pop in 'The Shred'. And I'm pretty sure the treadmill wouldn't recognize my tennis shoes if I even tried to hop on it. The next best thing? Shoveling snow!

And so, I did. And it was rather satisfying.

Don't get me wrong,'s not something I will do every time. It's still a "hard job." :)

Monday, January 11, 2010

Lottery? Do You HEAR Me?

Welp, I'm officially back at it for the first time since Dec. 19. Yeah, you read that right. I just can't seem to get back into the swing of things here in the ol' officina. Maybe it's knowing that Alex is playing with Auntie Jane instead of me? Regardless, I'm rather down today.

And I can't even go out at lunch for a pick-me-up because I'm being robbed by our benefits program effective Jan. 1 (70% increase!), so it's probably best that I do the whole brown bag-it thing for awhile. Ugh. All my liberties gone in the blink of an eye.

Curse you Mega Millions! Why oh why can't you pick ME?!?!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

X Chromosome FAIL.

In a good way, I assure you. world has been filled to the brim with girls lately: Kate, Kylie, Leighton, Abigail, baby Brewer (in ute), Teresa, Caroline & Olivia, baby Muhlenkamp (in ute). Don't get me wrong, this is all very AWESOME, mostly because Alex's list of prospects for prom is growing by the minute. However, he's currently lacking any homies to play catch and dig for eat bugs with.


World, I introduce to you baby BOY Lantis:

This little boy seriously doesn't know how lucky he's got it. Not only does he have a future bff that rocks socks, he has a supremely crazyfabulous Momma. This girl rocked a hot little dress and 4" heels at Kelli's wedding. PREGNANT. DANCING. Fabulous.

So to Lauren and Brian, I say, "CONGRATS!" Snips and snails and puppy dogs tails, psssshht. Boys are the BEST!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Best Video You'll Watch All Year.

I know it's only January 3, but I'm confident that this will top them all:

If the live feed doesn't work in your browser, click here to view it.

...and while I'm at it, can anyone tell me why I can't upload videos straight to blogger anymore? Perhaps this is why so many of my fellow bloggers have packed up and moved to wordpress?

Saturday, January 2, 2010


I willingly agreed went to see Avatar in 3D I can officially check that one off the list 'o Resolutions. Those looking for a review...I haven't stopped laughing long enough to actually process the plot line. Maybe someday soon.

In its place, I would like to add the following: donate hair to Locks of Love.

I have always, always, always, always wanted to do this. And I've begun the process no less then eleventy billion times. However, when a girl gets bored, there are three things that can happen: 1) she buys new shoes; 2) she organizes her purse; or 3) she cuts her hair.

I have loads and loads and loads of shoes and a purse that is organized within an inch of its zebra-fab life (a separate zipper pouch for my 47 lipglosses, for reals). I've also had (and loved) shortish hair for most of my post-high school life (with the exception of the growing out phases for my wedding, Kyle's wedding and Kelli's wedding) but every time I've attempted to actually grow it out enough for LoL, I get bored before reaching that precious 8 inch mark needed for donation. CHOP. Hair fail.

However, I find that right now is the perfect time to recommit myself to this lifelong goal. You see...if I were to chop this mop off now, I would look like someone snapped a head of lego hair atop a bowling ball. Yeah...short hair does NOT look good when these cheeks are chubby.

So, as I work on my "fit into skinny jeans" Resolution, I will also be growing my hair out for LoL. And when the day comes that I can glide those precious Seven For All Mankinds over these child-bearing hips without a tub of Vaseline and a small army of freakishly strong midgets, I will reward myself with a fabulously cute and new short haircut from a ridiculously overpriced Royal Oak salon.

Ready, set, GROW!

Friday, January 1, 2010


Lame. Cliche. Whatever. I'm hopping on the bandwagon.

If I can get 3 of these done, I will be pleasantly surprised with myself. Nothing like being an overachiever, eh?

  • Create a FB page for Alex. It's funny and weird. And yes, you should friend him. In related news, when did "friend" become a verb?
  • Fit back into my skinny jeans. Admitting an actual number goal is just tragic.
  • Try Indian food. Kelli swears it's the most delicious thing on the planet.
  • See more "boy" movies. Also categorized under: "Be a more awesome wife." 
  • Top my 2009 BDBC free crap total. Totally doable.
  • Be an audience member on Ellen. If I can get greedy, I would prefer it to be during her '12 Days of Giveaways'.
  • Keep Jake from digging up all my flowers in the spring. Or find a way to get rid of him altogether.
  • Go on a glorious vacation with just Joey. The beach misses me.
I'm not sure how 2010 can possibly be better than 2009. I mean, think about it: in the last year I've gotten a new sister (Jill) and a new brother (David). I've also survived pregnancy and childbirth (barely) and came out the other side with a super awesome kid who makes my life better in every way. I'm still wickedly in love with my Joey and couldn't be happier with the life I've been blessed with. Yes, you may all now gag at my sappy moment. 

Happy New Year! Now back to nursing my hangover...