Because, sometimes...

You just have to rock sequins at the office like it's 1994.

In unrelated news, webcams are the worst and coffee is the best.

I did not eat Puppy Chow for breakfast.

Well, that's a lie. Because I did.

And for those individuals that either live in a hole or only eat things Mother Nature provides, I didn't eat dog food for breakfast. I ate CEREAL covered in powdered sugar, chocolate and peanut butter. So it's totally legit.

In other news, "Operation make Joey his freshly ground coffee in the morning" is going very well. Today is Day 3 and I've officially become a pro at setting the coffee pot to "auto brew" at the witching hour of 6 a.m. Also? getting everything prepared the night before is so efficient. Why have I not been doing this all along?!

When all this to-go coffee brewing is paired with my horrible memory (see also: forgetting to bring my travel mugs home every night), I tend to get low on mug options. Thusly, my 2 favorite mugs are currently in the wash. And by "in the wash" I mean they are in the sink, untouched. So today, I'm rockin' a mug with the mugs of my boys:

I know, right?! Christmas 2 years ago. My how time flies. Please also note how adorbs my desk is. Lamp. Desk calendar courtesy of blue soleil, Mentos gum (duh). Love notes from Joey. Everything a girl needs to survive!

Coffee talk.

My husband has a problem. Well, he has many, but today we're going to talk about his obsession with coffee and random small appliance purchases.

This morning on the way into work he dropped the bomb on me that he wants to buy a new coffeemaker. But not just any coffemaker...the kind that automatically grinds the beans FOR you. Right. Here's how that went.

Joey: I want to get a new coffemaker.

Kristi: For real? You do know that we already own two of them, right?

J: Yes, but I want one that automatically grinds the beans for you. So it's like, super fresh. And we can save money!

K: First, we have a coffee maker, a coffee grinder AND a Keurig. I can basically whip you up a mochafrappawhatevermajig at the drop of a hat. And how will buying another machine save us money?

J: But we have to grind the beans ourselves. This one does it for you. And it's FRESH! And we can save money because we can set the coffee maker to brew in the morning and we can take it with us instead of going to Starbuckies.

K: Is grinding your own beans really that labor intensive? And there's nothing that says we can't brew to-go coffee with one of the TWO machines we already own. For me, it's about the snobbery of having Starbucks in the morning, obviously. But, if it is really that important to you to have freshly ground coffee, I will grind the beans and have the coffee pot set to go the night before. And before I get in the shower I will just flick it on and viola! Freshly ground coffee for my weird husband.

J: Our coffee pot has a timer.

K: ::facepalm:: Then why are we having this conversation? We own all the equipment (and good stuff, too!) to do exactly what you're asking.

J: Butbutbutbut it doesn't automatically grind the beans for you. It's, like, SUPERFRESH. Treat yo-self.

K: Stifling laughter at the obviously appropriate 'Parks & Rec' reference. I really don't understand you. You are an anomoly to me.

And then I promised to wake up extra early every day this week to freshly grind his coffee (no, that is not a euphemism) for a to-go cup instead of stopping at the 'buck. He has officially challenged me to this, because when it comes to sleeping for an extra 10 minutes and basically anything else in life, I will always choose to sleep. Always.

However, I am not willing to purchase and find shelf space for yet another coffeepot in my home. So, in the words of Barney Stinson, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

It Has Arrived.

Birthday Bootcamp is here! It technically started yesterday, but since I was travelling for work I didn't have time to update.

I was out the door by 5 a.m., but Joey left me a lovely present and card for Day 1. I got this Hallmark handprint ornament kit and can't wait to have a fun craft day with Alex and his wittle hands. I can also redeem a coupon in my card for one 10 minute foot massage!

Today's spreesprise was another lovely card (which I can redeem for one night of not picking, thinking about or cooking dinner!) and Starbucks Via of the Christmas Blend varie-tay. The best coffee, evah. I'm excited to see if the Via meets my standards.

I also still owe you pictures from Kelli and David's baby shower and a few pics of our of Christmas tree. My house has been infested by the Christmas garland monster. (and I love it!)

Addict.

Should I ever be cut open (read: freak wind sailing accident or 2nd C-section, whichever is more likely at this point), I'm relatively certain the doctors will find coffee (and wine) flowing freely through my veins.

At what point do I admit that it's a sickness? When I have a club card that gets me 10% off? When the baristas (from three different locations) know me by first name? When I don't even have to place an order because they already know what I want? Or when I get a GOLD members card in the mail WITH MY NAME ON IT?

That's right. GOLD. VIP. PERSONALIZED. Boo-ya. The only thing missing from the pomp and circumstance of it all was being hand delivered by a singing telegram boy wearing a latte costume.

This has to be what Kim Kardashian felt like when she got her Amex Black Card in the mail.

The Customer Is Always...Hot?

So, yeah. I may or may not have had 4 margs with dinner last night. It was just one of those days.

And as such, the java was in full force this morning. But I think my McCafe may have had a special message for me, what do you think?

Hellz yes, I am! This coffee knows what it's talking about!

BIGGBY Freebie.

Despite the fact that I was totally against the artist formerly known as Beaner's Coffee changing its name to BIGGBY Coffee, I still love the stuff.

And in today in honor of their birthday, they're giving you free coffee. Now that's a birthday celebration I can get into.

Click here to print the coupon and here to see if there's a BIGGBY in your area. Oh, and I wholeheartedly recommend the Teddy Bear.

You're welcome.

Caffeine Fix.

No time for the real thing, so I tried Starbucks Via Ready Brew this morning.

Honestly, it's not that bad. It certainly beats the crap coffee in the break rooms. The only downside is that each packet is portioned for 8 oz. of water. Which is fine for you European types that like a teeny weeny cup of java, but this girl prefers a giant travel-size mug. Solution? Two Via packets. Thank the lawd they sell them at Costco.

BDBC - Day 4.

First things first, I changed my posting setting in Blogger to the "new" version...loving it! You should know that I have a great aversion to change when it comes to all things PC (don't even get me started on the FB updates over the years), but I always tend to warm to the changes...eventually. Let's face it, serious computer nerds that are far smarter than yours truly update these things and I have to trust that they are making improvements to enhance and simplify my blogging experience. So, to the nerds of the world, thank you. I simply adore that my photos now upload at the insertion point, rather than at the top of all my blogs. Moving them is hard work! But that said - where oh where is spellcheck in this new version?!? Yes, I have an honors degree in journalism and also write for a living but this is just nonsense. A girl needs her schpell chek!

Back to le subject at hand - BDBC. I'm not gonna lie, Day 4 did not begin well. I hoisted my Princess and the Pea self out of bed to be at work for a 7 a.m. meeting only to dash into my boss' office a hot, sweaty mess at 6:55 to find it DARK and UNOCCUPIED. Angry and confused, I went back to my desk to find a loverly email timestamped at 6:29 to reschedule the meeting. Um, I was driving at 6:29.

Not. Cool.

I'm 93% over it (the coffee helped) and I'm just getting to my BDBC card and spreesprise, which were placed under my keys this morning. In my hurricane-powered frenzy to get out the door and to the meeting that never happened, I tossed it in my purse to open later.

Later is now.

And once again, my husband is just the best. I wish I could share what the cards all say, but that's something I choose to keep personal (I know, crazy...I will tell you crazy graphic stories of a baby failing to exit out my vajayjay but the simple, loving words of a card are too personal to share. Deal.). Today's little surprise was an ornament for our tree - adorable!

I think blogging has successfully simmered my morning rage. Let Friday officially begin!

Noon.

It was just the coffee.

Productivity be damned.

Randomness.

Please forgive the pong-like nature of this post, but there seems to be so much going on in the world and this is the only way I can control my little corner of it. I give you...The Bulleted List.

• Ellen. First, her season premiere was amazing. Are you kidding me with that dance? The woman is in the 50+ club. Go, girl! Secondly, as the new judge on AI...unsure. I love me some Ellen as much as the next straight girl with a crush on Portia, but will wait to pass judgment until I see it for myself.
• Kenny Chesney. New song "I'm Alive" feat. Dave Matthews? Fabulousness. Download it now. Very chill. And I don't even like DMB...as a general rule.
• On that note (pun intended), when did Phil Stacey get a gig? I'm jamming to XM32 @ my desk and his song "You're Not Shaken" just came on. Rather Clay Aiken-esque, but overall somewhat catchy.
• Baja Fresh. What's with the brown color medium salsa? I mean, it's delicious and all...but brown? Really? That said, my lunch was muy fantastico.
• Stamps. Way too effing expensive. It will soon be cheaper to drive a 1984 Chevy El Camino across the continental United States to say "hello" in person than to send a card.
• Glee. I practially peed myself during the season premiere. Best new show of the season, hands down. I heart it.
• Mr. President. Apparently I tuned in waaaaaaay too late to proclaim an opinion on his "Back To School" message to le children. Truth be told, I rather agree with what she had to say on the topic. Preach, sista.
• Sharpie. Why can I not find the new retractable pens in any store in Metro Detroit? Rar. If you find one, buy it for me please. I will drive my El Camino to come pick it up.

International Coffee.

I just went into the breakroom for a coffee refill. It's one of those days.

We have little stations throughout the campus where employees can get their caffeine fix. Some people do a $0.30 pay-as-you-go type of thing, others throw in $5 for the week and call it good.

The station closest to my new desk has something I've never seen: a sign on the money box that says, "U.S. funds, ONLY."

What? Are there people trying to pay for their java with Pesos? Baht? Yuan?

Perhaps I shall try my luck with Monopoly money.