I do, in fact, have legs.

Remember Sans Pants Pam? Yes, well, other than our love of words, snark and Frill, we are basically the opposite in every way possible. In the same way she is dress obsessed, I am pants obsessed.

In fact, it recently dawned on me that I have never, ever, ever, ever in my professional career worn a skirt to work. Ever. This is not hyperbole. I literally have worn dress pants every single day for the last 7 years.

Alas, someone in the office decided yesterday would be a superb day to have an outdoor picnic lunch. I was not about to schweat my balls off while eating crappy pizza in 100° heat, so I thought I would throw together a little capri number for the day. Until, BAM. A brown linen skirt practically fell out of my closet. I don't know where it came from. I don't even know if, in fact, it is mine. But I do stand by the old 'finders keepers' rule, so I tried it on and somehow magically a-la Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, it fit. And looked relatively normal.

And so, I wore it.

It's me! In a skirt! Nearly as rare as the sighting of the one eyed, one horned flying purple people eater. Obviously, I am also showing off my afternoon Starbuckies delight, as well as the wicked awesome bruise on my right cankle, courtesy of the French River.

In summary, I did not hate wearing a skirt. I also did not love it. And while I will most likely never escalate to the level of crazy that is Sans Pants Pam, I might rotate a skirt into the mix every now and again. You're welcome, world.

Addict.

Should I ever be cut open (read: freak wind sailing accident or 2nd C-section, whichever is more likely at this point), I'm relatively certain the doctors will find coffee (and wine) flowing freely through my veins.

At what point do I admit that it's a sickness? When I have a club card that gets me 10% off? When the baristas (from three different locations) know me by first name? When I don't even have to place an order because they already know what I want? Or when I get a GOLD members card in the mail WITH MY NAME ON IT?

That's right. GOLD. VIP. PERSONALIZED. Boo-ya. The only thing missing from the pomp and circumstance of it all was being hand delivered by a singing telegram boy wearing a latte costume.

This has to be what Kim Kardashian felt like when she got her Amex Black Card in the mail.

Happy Birthday To...You?

Much like Dane Cook's "You get a humpback whale! You get a humpback whale! Everybody gets a humpback whale!" Oprah joke, I'm spreading the love for Alex's birthday celebration. Since it's too expensive to mail humpback whales and too gross to mail cake, gift cards will simply have to do. And you know you love that more, anyway. The poll was very close between le Target and Starbuckies, so we'll call it a tie and have two winners. You're welcome.

So here's how you can win 10 big ones to Starbucks OR Target...1 winner for each.

Publicly follow ABM3 +
leave le comment with birthday wishes to Alex =
1 entry

That's it! Super cinchy! If you want to blog about this giveaway and link back to it, I'll throw in 2 extra entries. She works haaaaaaard for it, honey.

...and the only person that is ineligible for this giveaway Joey, since I buy him he buys me Starbuckies every day, anyway.

Giveaway closes @ midnight on April 21. US and Canada eh? residents only.

FRIDAY!

I am so excited that today is Friday for the manymany reasons I shall list henceforth: (I love that word.)

1. A group of girlie friends are coming over tonight for fondue and cosmos. NO BOYS ALLOWED! Joey and Alex will be banished to the upstairs and only allowed to show their countenances when they deliver us cocktails. I even have a bell to ring when our glasses are empty. Muah ha ha...

2. Tomorrow, my blonde counterpart is flying in from the Windy City to visit and deliver my newest 1154 Lill creation. Scads of shopping, wine consumption and tickling of Alex will be on the menu for the day. Yes, she loves me enough to fly here for the day.

3. Today begins le countdown - 2 weeks until we're on a plane to visit Kelli and David! Does anyone have a magical time machine that will make the next two weeks breeze by? I can pay you in Starbuckies.

Speaking of Starbuckies, my morning java got cold and I'm still drinking it. Here's my conundrum for the day: I love iced coffee, but I hate hot coffee when it gets cold. That's weird.

Caffeine Fix.

No time for the real thing, so I tried Starbucks Via Ready Brew this morning.

Honestly, it's not that bad. It certainly beats the crap coffee in the break rooms. The only downside is that each packet is portioned for 8 oz. of water. Which is fine for you European types that like a teeny weeny cup of java, but this girl prefers a giant travel-size mug. Solution? Two Via packets. Thank the lawd they sell them at Costco.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.

Based solely on my current stress/anxiety levels, you'd think I was the one getting married this weekend. And if I'm feeling this way, I can only imagine how Kelli is doing...

Anyway, the Post®-its are out of control and I'm beginning to fear they are going to take on a lifelike form and revolt in an uprising against me. I've managed to throw away 5 of them this morning - 2 personal and 3 work-related. Only 432,879,721 more to go!

In other news, Starbucks Christmas Blend came out today. Best. Coffee. Ever.

And, for those that give a rats, the E-Boarding pass worked like a charm. I just pulled up the text message from NWA/Delta that had the barcode on it and scanned it under this little machine thingie and breezed on through. VERY cool. I always stumble and stress like a maniac to find which pocket I put the paper pass in, which results in an instant hot flash of fear that I lost it, dropped it, or was mugged. I knew my phone was in my pocket, so no fear, no sweat. Love it!

And it's LONG overdue, but tomorrow you can expect the post on my lovely surprise from the CSN baby division. It's VERY cool!

Starbucks FAIL.

Holiday drinks are officially back at Starbucks. Woot!



Guess what's noticeably absent from the list?

My beloved Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate.

After whining inappropriately to my barista this morning, she assured me they could still make the "Caramel Hot Chocolate" part, just not the "Salted" part. Um...moron much? That's what makes it so deliciously delicious!

So, in an attempt to survive the season, I plan to head to Kroger tonight to pick up my own personal jar of sea salt, which will be kept innocuously in my purse so I can salt my own beverage. So much for the customer is always right.