Gettin' real up in here.

Here's where y'all buckle in for a hefty dose of reality from yours truly.

Today I was treated very poorly in le office environment. By a man. By a relatively high-powered man. I'm not sure if it's because of his perception that I'm young, or that I'm a woman, or something else entirely...but he was a dick. There's really no nice way to word it. An arrogant, asshat of a dick. It's safe to say I'm not the VP of his fan club.

I was careful to chose my words and my actions wisely. I remained knowledgeable, professional, and most importantly, outwardly unfazed by his demeaning words and actions. On the inside, I was three seconds from running out the door. But true to my self-respect and generally mild-mannered business demeanor, I did my job. And I did it well.

I'd like to think that we've come pretty far as a human race, but it's moments like these that remind me of how far we have to go.

So today's advice is simply to be nice to people. To the cashier at the supermarket. To the stranger in the elevator. To your husband. To your wife. To me! You'd be surprised how cinchy it is to be kind to others.

And for the record? Karma is a bitch.

Costco Etiquette.

Oh, sweet, sweet people of the internets: I realize that most of you are nice, normal people that really don't need to heed the warnings I'm about to give in this post. But for the 7% or so that I'm sure are offenders, take note.

Joe and I took our bi-monthly pilgrimage to Costco on Saturday. As usual, Alex was in tow and loving the front-row view from the cart. We had our coupons in hand and tennis shoes on foot (well, feet) and were ready to s-h-o-p. (Note: Costco trips are an event of the finest variety for the VeeDubs. We do every aisle. Every time.)

So I suppose that based on the blog title alone, you can guess that there were some real pains-in-the-asses that were in overabundance at our local Sterling Heights facility. Like, I'm talking douches of the greatest variety. Parking on the wrong side of the gas pumps. Pushing and shoving to the front of the free sample lines as if you've never eaten a day in your life. Ramming carts into small children and slow shoppers because you simply don't give a damn about other people. Dropping your empty free sample cups on the floor instead of in the trash can that is three steps away. Cutting in the checkout line when the very fine Costco employees are working so hard to maintain order. And my personal favorite, discarding your frozen pizzas somewhere in the granola aisle because you decided you simply didn't want it anymore.

It was the most frustrating 1.5 hours of my life. It was also a fantastic social experiment and a true test of my general tolerance for humankind.

Aaaaaaand, as long as we're at it, let me try to halt some of the impending comments I'm sure your fingers are ready to type. One: I know that Costco on a Saturday all but means seventy thousand locals, their children, moms, dads, uncles and Canadian relatives will also be shopping. Normally, this is fine. Two: I know that Costco's gas hoses are long FOR A REASON. I just happen to disagree with this reasoning. Three: I am a firm believer that a free sample is just that: a free sample. It is not a one-stop solution for a cost-effective Saturday luncheon for your family of seven. Four: I also know that the carts are roughly the size of a 2010 Toyota Prius. But for the love of cheese, practice a little bit of common courtesy! Pausing an extra two seconds as you turn the corner by the quesadilla sample might just save the leg of a 4-year old.

That's all for today. Tomorrow we'll have some uplifiting content around these parts. What was that? A giveaway you say? A really awesome GIVEAWAY! Sa-wheet!

The Ways Of The World.

So, I usually consider myself to be "hip" and "young" and "down wit' 'dat" and all the other things that twentysomethings are saying/doing/wearing these days. Mostly, I embrace it because my twenties are dwindling away faster than Heidi Montag's original features...but I digress.

Google Reader. Tell me more. I'm so intrigued. I know many of you use it, and to be honest, I'm probably like one of six people on planet blog that don't. But I'm very particular about how I read my daily stalks blogs. I like to open each blog from my Blogger dashboard into a separate tab in IE. Yes, I still use IE. Don't even go there with me. It's an innate part of my OCD blogging routine that I just can't seem to shake. I like to actually visit the homepage of my favorite bloggers to see if they've changed their backgrounds or navigation bars or pictures...or anything, really. It's like blogging crack. And from what I understand, I would only see new posts (and pictures that are in posts?) in Google Reader. Is this truthiness?

High-ev-uh, if this Google Reader thing is very cool and something I can /should/must get into, I'm willing to try it. Do you use it? Do you like it?

Hypothetically Speaking...

If you were in a high-level meeting with your new boss in the middle of a very in-depth conversation and she whipped out her lotion bottle and started to lube up her legs without so much as skipping a beat what would you do?

Would you just look at her, blankly, as if to say, "Really? You're doing that now? Here?" And would you feel sort of like you were on the set of some sick office porno?

Cause that's what I did would do in this situation.

Randomness.

Please forgive the pong-like nature of this post, but there seems to be so much going on in the world and this is the only way I can control my little corner of it. I give you...The Bulleted List.

• Ellen. First, her season premiere was amazing. Are you kidding me with that dance? The woman is in the 50+ club. Go, girl! Secondly, as the new judge on AI...unsure. I love me some Ellen as much as the next straight girl with a crush on Portia, but will wait to pass judgment until I see it for myself.
• Kenny Chesney. New song "I'm Alive" feat. Dave Matthews? Fabulousness. Download it now. Very chill. And I don't even like DMB...as a general rule.
• On that note (pun intended), when did Phil Stacey get a gig? I'm jamming to XM32 @ my desk and his song "You're Not Shaken" just came on. Rather Clay Aiken-esque, but overall somewhat catchy.
• Baja Fresh. What's with the brown color medium salsa? I mean, it's delicious and all...but brown? Really? That said, my lunch was muy fantastico.
• Stamps. Way too effing expensive. It will soon be cheaper to drive a 1984 Chevy El Camino across the continental United States to say "hello" in person than to send a card.
• Glee. I practially peed myself during the season premiere. Best new show of the season, hands down. I heart it.
• Mr. President. Apparently I tuned in waaaaaaay too late to proclaim an opinion on his "Back To School" message to le children. Truth be told, I rather agree with what she had to say on the topic. Preach, sista.
• Sharpie. Why can I not find the new retractable pens in any store in Metro Detroit? Rar. If you find one, buy it for me please. I will drive my El Camino to come pick it up.

Did I Miss Somethng Epic?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.