Monday, May 3, 2010

Costco Etiquette.

Oh, sweet, sweet people of the internets: I realize that most of you are nice, normal people that really don't need to heed the warnings I'm about to give in this post. But for the 7% or so that I'm sure are offenders, take note.

Joe and I took our bi-monthly pilgrimage to Costco on Saturday. As usual, Alex was in tow and loving the front-row view from the cart. We had our coupons in hand and tennis shoes on foot (well, feet) and were ready to s-h-o-p. (Note: Costco trips are an event of the finest variety for the VeeDubs. We do every aisle. Every time.)

So I suppose that based on the blog title alone, you can guess that there were some real pains-in-the-asses that were in overabundance at our local Sterling Heights facility. Like, I'm talking douches of the greatest variety. Parking on the wrong side of the gas pumps. Pushing and shoving to the front of the free sample lines as if you've never eaten a day in your life. Ramming carts into small children and slow shoppers because you simply don't give a damn about other people. Dropping your empty free sample cups on the floor instead of in the trash can that is three steps away. Cutting in the checkout line when the very fine Costco employees are working so hard to maintain order. And my personal favorite, discarding your frozen pizzas somewhere in the granola aisle because you decided you simply didn't want it anymore.

It was the most frustrating 1.5 hours of my life. It was also a fantastic social experiment and a true test of my general tolerance for humankind.

Aaaaaaand, as long as we're at it, let me try to halt some of the impending comments I'm sure your fingers are ready to type. One: I know that Costco on a Saturday all but means seventy thousand locals, their children, moms, dads, uncles and Canadian relatives will also be shopping. Normally, this is fine. Two: I know that Costco's gas hoses are long FOR A REASON. I just happen to disagree with this reasoning. Three: I am a firm believer that a free sample is just that: a free sample. It is not a one-stop solution for a cost-effective Saturday luncheon for your family of seven. Four: I also know that the carts are roughly the size of a 2010 Toyota Prius. But for the love of cheese, practice a little bit of common courtesy! Pausing an extra two seconds as you turn the corner by the quesadilla sample might just save the leg of a 4-year old.

That's all for today. Tomorrow we'll have some uplifiting content around these parts. What was that? A giveaway you say? A really awesome GIVEAWAY! Sa-wheet!


Chardonnay said...

I totally and completely loathe Costco. People just can't control themselves around those samples and I hate being there! I have a Costco card only because it's a company benefit... I've given it a few chances but the deals are just as good at Super Walmart and believe it or not the people are not as bad!

Annie D said...

What exactly is the wrong side of the gas pump? I don't shop at Costco (for many of the reasons you listed) so I've never gotten gas there; is it different than a regular gas station?

Kristi said...

Annie - The hoses are SUPER long, so essentially you can get in any line (not just the ones with the pumps on the same side as your tank fill). HOWEVER, I still believe that you should line up in accordance with your tank side - and the people that don't just end up looking like fools trying to wrangle the hose OVER their cars and into the pump. Silly, silly. :)

Ashley said...

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah too funny. I hate WT at Costco. :)

Beth said...

LOL! I just got back from there. Dead quiet tonight. Also, there were no free samples. Unacceptable. I really wanted some zip fizz. But I did see the giant fudge/nut ice cream bar you and Joey were talking about.

KimnSteve said...

Ever since someone hit my pregnant belly with their shopping cart at Sam's Club (no Coscos here), I really don't like shopping there anymore. And ditto all the rudeness!