Tuesday, May 25, 2010

An Open Letter.

Attention ladies: It is now officially sum-sum-summatime.

This means that the seemingly endless condundrum of 'what is work appropriate summer attire?' is officially on everyone's minds. Well, at least mine. In any event, I'm about to impart some serious knowledge on you. File this one away as top 5 general office etiquette - right behind the NO nail clipping rule.

1. Tank tops are acceptable when you are out to dinner with friends. Or at a club. Or out shopping. However, I do NOT want to look at your poorly shaved pits in the boardroom. It's just not cool. Ann Taylor makes cardigans for a reason.

2. I love strappy sandals as much as the next girl, and as cute and fun and impressive as your Old Navy flip flops in every color of the rainbow might be, they do not scream, "Hey, I take my job seriously!" Put on a professional pair of shoes and respect the office, will ya?

3. This actually pairs with Rule #2: just because the weather says you can wear open-toed shoes doesn't mean that you should. Treat yourself to a nice pedicure before you even dare expose those toes. Nobody wants to see your gangly, disgusting and unpolished feet. It's le gross.

4. Throw this one back to my Catholic school roots: if your skirt/dress doesn't pass your fingertips when you hold your hands at your side, you shouldn't be wearing it. This especially applies to all women over 29 during any season.

5. Kudos to you if you're using your lunchtime to walk around outside and get some exercise. However, if your place of work does not have a shower for you to refresh your hot mess of a self, keep it inside so the sweat stays to a minimum. I don't want to smell your nasty funk in our 2 p.m. meeting, mmkay?

Take those to the summer bank and cash them, y'all. Oh, and the no clipping rule knows no season.

In other news, Glee goes Gaga tonight. AND it's the season finale of The Biggest Loser. Thank the lawd for DVR!


Anonymous said...

O I love it!!! So totally true!!!

And I have to say, as I was sitting in training in the board room last week I started hearing a "clip ... clip .... clip ..." Could it be? No ... Seriously? The girl in the back (who ALWAYS falls alseep and almost falls out of her chair) was CLIPPING HER NAILS IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR TRAINING!!!!

I immediately thought of you and your cubicle clipper ... thank heaven's her cubicle is on the other side of the office from me! LOL!

Shanni ♥ said...

Your cubicle clipper always makes me giggle!! I can only imagine how frustrating! But funny to read about (kinda like the war in my office with the toilet paper being put on the right way, which is OF COURSE where the sheets come out the top and over the front! DUH haha)

David and Kelli said...

I failed somewhere in being an older sister. Tank tops and flippys are the greatest EVER. Especially at one billion degrees in a 3-story school. I dream about sitting in my car on the way home, AC pumping. I do give you 3-5, of course. I could cover half an envelope with some of the clothes the high school girls wear. Seck.

Kaira said...

Your list is spot on! I couldn't agree more. My lady friends, all well over 30, need to stop trying to dress like co-eds. I don't care if you do fit into that teeny-tiny whatever... you stopped rockin it years ago!