Hot Off The Press.

It's been a big week 'round these parts. Some things I can't talk about (No, I'm not pregnant. You shut your dirty, whorish mouth.) and others I can. Here's the things I can speak of:

1. Tomorrow is D-Day. Donation Day. A-la-Pantene Beautiful Lengths Day. My appointment is after work, which gives me enough time to think about it all day and eventually change my mind. I think I'm really going to miss the tonypail. Like, a lot. But it's time for a change and I've wanted to do this since like 1905.
2. A super fun post in collaboration with Cheerios is also planned for tomorrow. Is the suspense killing you?!
3. Another giveaway is on the horizon! I'm considering some crazy Halloween-related ideas on how to enter...stay tuned.
4. Alex will be 18 months on Friday. **faints**

That's all for now. I can't even sit still about the hair. I've been twirling it around my pointer finger all day. And maybe singing to it just a little bit. Don't judge.

Hair-lemma. Oh, And Coupons.

As mentioned previously, I'm currently growing out my mane to donate to Locks of Love. And, as also foreshadowed, I'm losing my patience and slowly losing the will to keep growing.

10 inches is the minimum length (That's what she said. Snort.) for Locks of Love. And upon further research, Pantene has a program called Beautiful Lengths that only requires 8 inches (double snort). I could chop off what I have right now and meet that requirement...so does that make me a cheater?

Seriously. This ponytail is out of control. To "switch things up" a bit, I parted it on the other side today. A part! That's the best I can do to get any form of variety out of this mop. I'm annoyed and losing patience.

Methinks that I'll be a Beautiful Lengths donator the day after Boot Camp is over. Yesyesyes...zees ees zee plan.

Oh, and in unrelated news, Gap's Give and Get program runs August 26-29. You get 30% off at Gap, Banana Republic, Old Navy (and outlets!) and the charity of your choice will get 5% of your purchase. Charities include (click the links to get the coupon): The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society; World Wildlife Fund; Feeding America; Global Fund's Project (RED); Big Brothers Big Sisters; and Teach for America.

As always, you're welcome.

This...

...is what I want need my hair to look like.

Forgive the super weird look on America Ferrera's face, but I had to pull an image from a grainy YouTube video of last week's Ugly Betty episode to give you the visual of such hair perfection.

Here's the prob: I'm definitely 100% retarded when it comes to curling irons, rollers and any other tool that "curls". Chances are that I would lose a lot of hair in the process, people would get hurt, and Pantene's stock would plummet. I also think those giant velcro rollers (like Gretchen uses on "Real Housewives") are fab-yooouu-less, but I'm too chicken to try them.

I'm not completely at a loss - I'm actually quite skilled at styling my hair when it's short, mostly because it requires a straightener, aka a styling tool I can operate without breaking into a cold sweat. Exhibit A: one of my best short-hair days ever.

Me and my bf, Cait.

It should be noted that this was taken minutes before the

Spice Girls' reunion tour. Yeah, we're that awesome.

Please teach me your voodoo hair magic, oh stylers of Ugly Betty. Because I have at least another 2 inches of growth (read: four months) before I can successfully perform my Locks of Love donation, and walking around with an eternally unstyled ponytail really doesn't do my mop any justice. Le sigh.

Toot. Toot.

I made this for dinner last night and it was SCRUMPTIOUS. The word "easy" was in the working title of the recipe, so I really couldn't resist. I used about a 2 lb. roast, though, because 4 could feed us for a week. I also added 'shrooms, because we love us some 'shrooms in the VW house. Not like THAT, sillies!

There's just something about walking in the front door (after a heinous day at work) to the smell of a delicious dinner that's ready to eat. If Yankee could bottle that scent up for a candle they'd make bazillions!

In unrelated news, the disgusting and mysterious at-work nail clipper is back with a vengeance. And since I sit mostly near dudes, odds are good that it's a grown man clip, clip, clipping his scurvy nails in my very presence. Seriously. Who does that? Save it for the privacy of your own home, man!

In other unrelated news, I did some more research and it seems that the minimum requirement for Locks of Love is 10 inches, not 8 as I mentioned in this post. Would it be weird to start taking my prenatal vitamins again to help it grow faster?

Modifications.

I willingly agreed went to see Avatar in 3D today...so I can officially check that one off the list 'o Resolutions. Those looking for a review...I haven't stopped laughing long enough to actually process the plot line. Maybe someday soon.

In its place, I would like to add the following: donate hair to Locks of Love.

I have always, always, always, always wanted to do this. And I've begun the process no less then eleventy billion times. However, when a girl gets bored, there are three things that can happen: 1) she buys new shoes; 2) she organizes her purse; or 3) she cuts her hair.

I have loads and loads and loads of shoes and a purse that is organized within an inch of its zebra-fab life (a separate zipper pouch for my 47 lipglosses, for reals). I've also had (and loved) shortish hair for most of my post-high school life (with the exception of the growing out phases for my wedding, Kyle's wedding and Kelli's wedding) but every time I've attempted to actually grow it out enough for LoL, I get bored before reaching that precious 8 inch mark needed for donation. CHOP. Hair fail.

However, I find that right now is the perfect time to recommit myself to this lifelong goal. You see...if I were to chop this mop off now, I would look like someone snapped a head of lego hair atop a bowling ball. Yeah...short hair does NOT look good when these cheeks are chubby.

So, as I work on my "fit into skinny jeans" Resolution, I will also be growing my hair out for LoL. And when the day comes that I can glide those precious Seven For All Mankinds over these child-bearing hips without a tub of Vaseline and a small army of freakishly strong midgets, I will reward myself with a fabulously cute and new short haircut from a ridiculously overpriced Royal Oak salon.

Ready, set, GROW!