Saturday, April 4, 2009

Oh No She Didn't.

Today I went Mom2Momming with Keliann and Emily. 'Twas a 70+ table sale with no strollers allowed before 11 am. (Woot!) And how excited was I when I found THE table - perhaps even the table to end all tables? Very. The mom manning said table had (at least) a 3 carat rock on her hand and justsohappened to have all boy stuff! Polo, Tommy, you name it...she had it. And, it seemed that all the sizes were in the right season. JACKPOT!

After the M2M extravaganza (where we were all very, very successful), we grabbed lunch and continued on a quest to get me some nursing bras.


I continue...

To set the stage, we were at Motherhood at Lakeside Mall. After being enthusiastically stalked by a staff of far too upbeat sales associates, we managed to sneak into a dressing room to try on the goods. I knew I wanted a sleeping bra, a few tanks and 1 "real" know, for those rare occasions where I will exit the home premises and don some non-100% cotton clothing for a social evening out on the town.

I managed to find 2 "real" bras, 1 sleeping bra and 2 tanks that I was relatively happy with. And BONUS! The sleeping bra that felt most comfortable to me just so happened to be a size SMALL. A SMALL!!! The last time I even looked at anything in a size small was...gosh, I can't even remember.

Off we trotted to the checkout, where we were once again greeted by an overwhelmingly cheerful sales associate.

No, I'm not interested in your credit card college savings program. No, I don't want to subscribe to Grandparents' Magazine. No, I'm not interested in ANY of the "free" crap you are offering me. Just freakin' ring my stuff up so I can take my non-returnable, non-refundable items that I wish were from Victoria's Secret instead of this crappy store and get the eff out of here.

After offering me everything but the kitchen sink, she finally got around to ringing up my actual purchases. Here's the part where she almost dies...

"M'am, are you sure that you want to buy the sleeping bra in the small?"

"Yes, I am sure." Why in the hell would I have put it on the counter if I wasn't?

"Well, I think you should reconsider the medium because your boobs will increase an entire cup size once your milk comes in." Gives me judging glance as if to say, "You're seriously not a small, lady."

"The small was comfortable. I will get the one I gave you, thank you."

She goes on to tell me with a smile about how awful breastfeeding is because you've got "milk squirtin' all over the place" and how "it just hurts" and she was "so glad she never had to do it again" and on and on and on and on...

Seriously lady? How did you get this job?

I could have strangled her. But I didn't.

I signed my receipt, grabbed my overpriced, non-refundable, non-returnable size SMALL bra and hightailed it on out of there.

I think in the world of friendliness, I'm really gaining ground, don't you?


Andrea Schultz said...

Small is the right size, that is what I bought and so did my best friend...I would have told her to

GingerSnap said...

:::Glares at evil sales lady:::

Kate's Mom said...

Victoria's Secret has nursing bras if you order online...

Kelli said...

She is rude and is added to the queue of people who annoy me during your pregnancy. Her store should SERIOUSLY consider revamping their interview process. R U D E. You are the best. She is not.

Keliann and Michael said...

To top it all off, this was the SAME lady who just the week before asked me if I was "ok" because I looked "seriously annoyed" (which I was, but honestly honey it is non-of-your-business if I am, or why I am for that matter, and now YOU are a part of the reason I am "SERIOUSLY ANNOYED"!!!)

To make all of this worse, while standing at the counter explaining the woes of BF it comes up that I am due in August and the B*#@h replys "ME TOO!!". Bite me skinny-hoe-with-too-much-energy-to-be-knocked-up! I Hate that store!!!