Four years.

Four years ago today, I stood in front of God, friends and family and promised you faithfulness, friendship and forever.

Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for every minute of my life that lead me to you. Every good decision, every bad decision, every twist and turn that got me here. I'm blessed. I'm thankful. I'm happy. I'm complete.

Thank you for building a life with me - for building our family on a foundation of faith, laughter, adventure, partnership and promise. I love you more every day.

Weekend in pictures.

Here's a photographic look at our weekend, because I'm too lazy to do anything else today. Hey, at least I'm honest.

On Friday, we went to our community's "birthday bash" carnival and rode some of the rides and played at the water park.

On Saturday, dreams came true and toddler brains exploded when we went to Huckleberry Railroad at Crossroads Village where we took a ride on the REAL Thomas the Train!


On Sunday, we stayed in our jammies until noon and did absolutely nothing. There are no pictures to document this, because obviously.

Why dinner at our house rules.

Alex's mealtime prayer, courtesy of Aunt Jane's Daycare.



Thank you God for the food we eat.
Thank you God for everything!
God bless America and all the children in the world.
Amen. (Yaaaaaaaaaay!)

Toddler, unattended.

Alex is getting more and more independent. And as all good (read: lazy) parents do, we're getting a little lax in our parenting skills and allowing him to do more things on his own. You know, like driving, baking and swimming.

I kid. I kid.

But really, the kid loves to do things himself. Lately, he's been wanting to brush his teeth solo. So, we let him. He hasn't quite gotten the hang of putting it away just yet, though...

If you're having a case of the Mondays...

I implore you to look at this and not smile:

You're welcome.

This weekend, I will...

• Finish cleaning out my closet and drawers. Also, purge half of everything.
• Go to the park. Probably that new one with the Fire Truck playstations.
• Populate the new storage bins we got for Alex's toys in the basement. Also, box up all the "baby" toys he no longer plays with.
• Drink margaritas. Skinny Girl, because I just can't quit you, Bethenny.
• Make my Dad grill me his famous beer and butter chicken. See also: "Convince Dad to come visit on Sunday since Mom is off gallivanting in CT with Sam-e-oh."
• Weed my flower beds. Ok, probably not, but it's good to have a goal, right?
• Finish my latest reading obsession, The Bride Quartet by Nora Roberts. While drinking margaritas.

I think that's about it. Ooh! And I shall make coffee on Sunday morning. Yesyesyes. This is all turning out quite nicely.

Also? Until about 3 minutes ago I thought 'gallivanting' was for sure spelled 'galavanting.' ::facepalm:: Thanks, spellcheck. Wait...maybe both are right?

Disney hates my kid.

So I'm part of a "corporate entertainment" distribution list - basically they send out pre-sale and discounted offers to employees for local events in our area. We all know I am a sucker for a good deal and I love live events, so basically it's always a win-win.

Until Disney came along.

They are offering pre-sale seats AND a discount for Disney on Ice shows on Oct. 12 and 13. A Wednesday and Thursday, respectively. The show starts at SEVEN THIRTY PM. Are you kidding me? What non-parent genius planned that?

Because my kid? He's for sure in bed by 7:45/8:00 every night. And every other kid in the world? Should also be in bed by this time. It's good for their little brains and bodies to get good, solid rest.

No wonder the seats are discounted. Asshats.

How'd you spend your Sunday?

Was it at the ER with a severely dehydrated 2 year old? No? Than it was sure as hell better than mine.

Long story short: Alex woke up on Sunday morning limp as a noodle, unresponsive to any questions and demonstrating some signs of labored breathing. I don't really remember driving to the hospital, but somehow we ended up at the Children's ER at Beaumont.

He had no signs of fever or infection, which was the most troubling. The doctors ran blood tests and x-rays of his chest and stomach to learn more. During the x-ray, the tech told Alex she was going to "take a picture of his bellybutton" so he pointed to it and said, "cheeeeese!" I die.

Anyway, his labs showed CO₂ levels of 17. The "normal" range is 22-26, so the kid was dehydrated. Severely. We had a barrage of questions for the docs--because he had been drinking and peeing healthy amounts all week--and even had a wet diaper that very morning. It's assumed that his body was just fighting off some sort of bug earlier in the week and was using all the "extra" fluids to do that.

So, he got hooked up to an IV for the  better part of 3 hours and got all juiced back up. And, miracle of miracles, after about 30 minutes into the drip, he was his normal, happy, silly self.

He was so brave when they put his IV in.
Also, doesn't he look BIG here? Sigh.

Feeling better...can you tell? :)

The last picture is proof that we were ready to be discharged and head home. And also that he has Poppi and Papa John wrapped around his chubby fingers. Papa John was on wagon duty and Poppi pushed the IV cart behind them. This was all just too much for me, truly.

So, in summary, that's not how I planned to spend my Sunday. But everyone is happy, healthy and hydrated back at home. Also? I like alliteration.

I do. I did. And I'd do it all over again.

On Saturday Joe and I had the pleasure of attending a wedding reception at the same location ours was held almost 4 years ago. It was quite magical to be there, watching another couple with stars in their eyes...starting on a journey that will change them, challenge them, and teach them to love like they've never loved before.

It gave me chills a few times, to be honest. Or maybe that was the open bar, I just can't be sure.

Like I said...possibly the open bar.

Anyway, the wedding was beautiful. And the reception was such fun! They thought of every little detail...from a super rad DJ to a self-serve candy bar that Willy Wonka himself would have been proud of. And they rented a photo booth! Gah...that was so much fun. There's not many things I would change about our wedding, but if I had to do it all over again, I would have rented a photo booth. And worn red shoes.

I love the Internet.

Seriously, how did the world exist before online shopping? (And also Easy Mac and Keurig coffee makers, but that's a story for another day.)

Background information: I love, love, love Mentos gum. Thanks, Jennifer. It's yum, yum, gum, gum. Lasting flavor. Stays chewy. Comes in a fun little shakeable plastic container that keeps the beat for my mid-afternoon cha-cha. But I digress.

I usually buy the "big" packs - you know, the ones that fit in your car's cupholder - and keep it at my desk. Lasts me about a month. Inevitably, I run out and forget to buy a new one for at least a week. Frustration ensues. My coworkers hate me and my sushi/Starbuckies breath in my 1 p.m. meetings. Everyone loses.

Yesterday, as you can imagine, I hit the bottom of the barrel. And in a moment of brilliance, I went to Amazon.com and ordered a WHOLE CASE OF IT. And delivered it right to my office. Overnight.

Why didn't I think of this sooner?

The one time I disowned my husband.

If you haven't seen me gloating down the halls of Twitter and Facebook, I should clue you in that the VeeDubs are kidless for a week and loving it. Aunt Jane took the week off to tend to her daughter's upcoming nuptials (Ironically, to my brother's best friend. I'll give you a minute to connect the dots. OK? Good.), so the midget is with Grammi and Poppi for the week.

Which leaves our grown up calendar wiiiiiiiide open to do all sorts of unusually adult things such as: eating at restaurants that do not have high chairs, staying up very late participating in irresponsible activities, getting oil changes (a thrill!) and other such shenanigans.

We also took it upon ourselves to see an adult-themed show (you know, one that did not involve singing tweens prancing around in stuffed animal costumes) over the weekend. Jim Gaffigan, to be exact. Quite possibly the funniest man on planet earth -- and I needed the laughs.

So imagine my ULTRA horror about 5 minutes into his set when Joey took a very poorly timed swig of his $8 beer and spewed said swig ALL OVER the people in front of us at the expense of a very funny Hot Pocket Joke.

I. Was. Mortified.

The good news is that the people just turned around, gave him the stink eye, and accepted his really, really, really embarrassed apology.

I can dress him up but I can't take him anywhere.

My name is Kristi and I am an addict.

I have a problem. I am addicted to tee shirts. Specifically, the long and short sleeved plain variety from Gap and Old Navy.

I can't help it! They are comfy, cheap and a wardrobe staple. However, after a brief lapse in judgment when I decided Saturday would be a great day to clean out my drawers, I've concluded that this is a situation that requires an intervention.

Ahem. These are just the long sleeved ones. After I threw half out. Note that most of them are black. This is also a problem.

Is there a 12 step program for this?

I'm like a designer. Only not.

Joey and I have recently decided that if our "to move or not to move" solution is really to not move (and to instead build up), then we probably need to get our shit together. Obviously, if we choose to move, it's a relatively cut-and-dry couple of months process--sell old, move crap, buy new, move in--compared to a much longer build process. This would  likely involve designing something with a builder, finding a temporary rental, moving crap out and into storage, actually building the damn thing, cleaning, and moving said crap back in. Why again is this an option?

Oh yeah, because we love our neighborhood. We love, love, love, love our neighbors. We love our community. I even have a small business crush on our Mayor, but that's neither here nor there. So while it will be a far bigger pain to build up, we want to consider all options before pulling the proverbial trigger.

So we're going to meet with some builders to see what we're up against. Please save me from myself.

The natural progression of this chain of events in my brain has caused a severe case of the redecorating bug to bite me in the rear. I've been perusing all sorts of design sites to get ideas and inspiration, and being the salmon swimming upstream that I am, I've opted to create my own little Pinterest board, but in PowerPoint. Because that's how I roll. ABM3-erest. I'm tm-ing it.

Clockwise from UL: yellow zig-zag pillow; distressed red entry table; upcycled 'eat' sign; 'the end' bookend; swoop armchairs; morning green cottage shelf.

I know, I'm like eleventy billion steps ahead of myself. And Joey is probably hyperventilating as he's reading this. On the ride home tonight he will be all "you're already redecorating a house we don't even own yet!" And I'll be all, "But it's really just a PowerPoint presentation. Think of it as my sales pitch to you." And he'll roll his eyes and laugh at me. And tomorrow when that yellow zig-zag pillow comes in the mail I will have to hide it from him out of shame until 2014.

The point here is this: regardless of where this real estate train takes us in the next 12 months, I promise you'll be along for the ride. And I also might recruit some of you to help me hide pillows and such from Joey. Consider it the cost of friendship and readership.

Monday and a threesome.

Do I have your attention? Thought so.

The Monday reference is obvious. Blah.

As for the threesome? I have a new favorite. Wine, that is. Ménage à Trois (red). At a whopping $7.99 from your neighborhood friendly Costco, this is about to become a staple at the VeeDub residence. Not that I would know from experience or anything, but it pairs well with Ben & Jerry's Late Night Snack. And Cheez-its. And double chocolate chip muffins.

You're welcome.