I'm like a designer. Only not.

Joey and I have recently decided that if our "to move or not to move" solution is really to not move (and to instead build up), then we probably need to get our shit together. Obviously, if we choose to move, it's a relatively cut-and-dry couple of months process--sell old, move crap, buy new, move in--compared to a much longer build process. This would  likely involve designing something with a builder, finding a temporary rental, moving crap out and into storage, actually building the damn thing, cleaning, and moving said crap back in. Why again is this an option?

Oh yeah, because we love our neighborhood. We love, love, love, love our neighbors. We love our community. I even have a small business crush on our Mayor, but that's neither here nor there. So while it will be a far bigger pain to build up, we want to consider all options before pulling the proverbial trigger.

So we're going to meet with some builders to see what we're up against. Please save me from myself.

The natural progression of this chain of events in my brain has caused a severe case of the redecorating bug to bite me in the rear. I've been perusing all sorts of design sites to get ideas and inspiration, and being the salmon swimming upstream that I am, I've opted to create my own little Pinterest board, but in PowerPoint. Because that's how I roll. ABM3-erest. I'm tm-ing it.

Clockwise from UL: yellow zig-zag pillow; distressed red entry table; upcycled 'eat' sign; 'the end' bookend; swoop armchairs; morning green cottage shelf.

I know, I'm like eleventy billion steps ahead of myself. And Joey is probably hyperventilating as he's reading this. On the ride home tonight he will be all "you're already redecorating a house we don't even own yet!" And I'll be all, "But it's really just a PowerPoint presentation. Think of it as my sales pitch to you." And he'll roll his eyes and laugh at me. And tomorrow when that yellow zig-zag pillow comes in the mail I will have to hide it from him out of shame until 2014.

The point here is this: regardless of where this real estate train takes us in the next 12 months, I promise you'll be along for the ride. And I also might recruit some of you to help me hide pillows and such from Joey. Consider it the cost of friendship and readership.

Opposites attract.

Here's a fun marital fact you might not know about the VeeDubs: we have separate checking accounts.

And we have no intention of ever changing that.

I realize for some couples, this would mean the beginning of the end. But for us, it works. I spend my money. He spends his. We split home and other expenses. He pays the mortgage and insurance and I pay TV/Internet, water, gas, electric & phone. We take turns on daycare, gas, Fran, groceries, dinner out, etc. Credit cards? Those are separate, too.

I'm not sure if it's something I'm proud to admit, but we've never really done a budget. Like, we both have a ballpark number in our heads about what we save vs. spend, but it's never been nerd-official in a spreadsheet or anything.

That's the part that is changing.

We met with a Realtor on Friday and are structuring the next year of our life around saving, saving, saving. And not just on handsoap. Even in this shit-for-housing market, we're taking the steps necessary to sell our house smartly and move into something with a little more room to grow. We want to be there in 12 months, so it's an agressive, but do-able, plan. But it must be budgeted to ensure success.

In my mind, a budget is as follows: How much do I make? How much do I spend? What's left over?

In Joey's mind, this is a budget:

This is a REAL screenshot in Excel from Joey's "2011 VW budget planner." Honestly, you could line item this shit to the point of knowing when I bought my last tube of MAC lipglass and maybe even what shade it was. Also, there is actual brain matter splattered on my desk from looking at this thing.

I am sure that somewhere in the middle of both of our ideas is probably a healthy place to be in budgetland. What I'm not sure of, however, is how we'll get there.

S-S-S-Savings.

A few days ago I was choring around the house (made-up verb meaning "to do chores," not to be confused with whoring) and I discovered that the soap dispenser in the bathroom needed refilling.

So, I opened the linen closet and pulled out the GIANT Softsoap refill. Much to my surprise, the bottle was nearly empty. In fact, this particular refill used up my entire stash.

This might not seem like anything out of the ordinary until you know the backstory...

Elevently billion years ago (read: five), I was trying to court the pants (literally and figuratively) off of one Joe Van Wormer by impressing him with my cash savviness. You know, something along the lines of, "I'm great wife material because I know how to shop and save!" Or something.

For instance, I persuaded him for the first time ever to buy an article of clothing from any store other than Macy's at retail. He proudly sported some new Old Navy digs, shoes from DSW and a few name brand pieces from Marshall's and TJ Maxx.

Homie quickly caught on that sales, couponing and being a savvy shopper was clearly the way to go. You could say I changed him.

He drew the line at Wal*Mart, though.

Save one night when I convinced him to just "pop in" to get some odds-n-ends health and beauty stuff.

He needed soap for his bathroom, so as I perused the mascara selection he jolted a few aisles over and brought back a small refill bottle. Retail cost: $3.89.

"Why don't you just get the giant refill bottle to save money?"

"Because it's giant and I like this one."

I convinced him (albeit begrudgingly) to buy the refill bottle for less than $1 more, which also had about 17x more soap and was stored nicely in the linen closet until just a few days ago.

So it is with a saver's heart and a little smugness that I report that over the course of the last five years I have saved this man roughly $50 (assuming he would have needed 1 small refill bottle each month). Not to mention the plastic waste impact on the environment!

I think I just threw my back out patting myself on the back.

Hacked.

Dearest Kristi,

Thanks so much for the direct deposit today. It's been quite awhile (3 months!) since I've experienced a "deposit" instead of "withdrawal," and I assure you it was a nice change of pace.

I'm assuming since you're officially back in action I can begin to see some of my old friends tromping through my ledger lines. You know - Target, Marshalls, MAC, The Limited, Old Navy, Ebay, Amazon...just to name a few.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop you a note and let you know it's good to have you back.

Cheers,
Your Bank Account