Friday, January 28, 2011

Desk decor.

I believe since most people spend more time in the office than pratically anywhere else, the desk area is a personal sanctuary that should personalized as one sees fit....within reason.

For instance, amongst the rampant paper and sticky note clutter scattered about my desk, you'll also find a super cute lamp, 49,285,032,745 pictures of Alex/family/friends, a bedazzled coffee mug, my XM Radio, a poster that says "Who says you can't climb the corporate ladder in heels?" and a whimsical whiteboard that I use for random thoughts and doodles.

Other people have plants. Or those stupid stress relief sandboxes. Or noodle art from their kids. Or space heaters. One guy I know even has a water purifier.

But there is one desk accessory that I find to be superior to all others, and every time I see one I can't help but squeal with delight on the inside: The framed, professional glamour shot of the wife.

I know. You love them too.

Imagine, if you will, a 50-something overweight, poorly dressed engineer that clips his nails at his desk and eats canned soup for lunch. In stark contrast, proudly displayed on his desk is an 8x10 framed photo of what, at first glance, looks like a Bratz doll. But in reality, it's his photoshopped-within-an-inch-of-her-life wife from a Glamour Shots session.

And the wife (or wives, as it were, since I've seen many examples of this in my days...) obviously had the following rational conversation with herself at some point in this process:

Self, you should make an appointment for a Glamour Shots session. Yes, that is a grand idea. You shall have perfect strangers coat your face with 12 lbs. of makeup and use at least 3 cans of hairspray to poof your hair circa 1984. Then, you shall get almost naked, delicately wrap a feather boa around yourself and smile for the camera wearing sexy fire engine red lipstick, too much blush and a very, very awkward head tilt. Maybe even lightly graze the side of your face with your pointer fingtertip for that "extra" touch. Then you will get large prints made up and framed and gift them to your loving husband for Christmas (because he will obviously love that more than an iPad or new golf clubs). At which point, hubby will proudly display it on his desk at work for GOD AND EVERYONE to see and compliment.

What part of this makes sense to anyone else? What's more, it's not like the wife will even actually know that you put it on your desk. Put it in a drawer, man, and pull it out the 2 times a year she comes to take you to lunch.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Poop pit crew.

So last night before we went to bed, Joe did the uge and checked on Alex to make sure he was all snuggly warm and comfy in his crib. He started to cough as he walked out of the room, indicating a smell of a certain odor.

It appeared that the little man had pooed in his jammies, which, in hindsight, has never actually happened. I thought he was incapable of pooping in his I know this to be untrue.

Not wanting to be horrible parents, we stood there dumbfounded/paralyzed for a minute or two debating what to do. Wake him and use the changing table? Attempt to change him in the crib? Spray some Febreze and hope for the best?

Opting for #2, we dropped the crib rail and went to town. In one, smooth motion lasting 30 seconds or less, I unzipped his jammies, Joe lifted his legs and wiped away the goodness as I swooped the new diaper under his tooshie and packaged him back into a bundle of jammie warmth. All while he snoozed and didn't move a muscle.

And somewhere off in the distance, I heard the crowd cheering, "the Van Wormers win the pole position!!!"

This isn't to say this was my proudest parenting moment, but it's close.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

This is the stuff.

I was itching to find some new music yesterday and heard a new Francesa Battistelli song on XM32 that lead me to her website...and as luck would have it, her new CD comes out soon!

Anyway, the single is called "This is the Stuff." And it's awesome. Total anthem-worthy.

Listen for yourself here. Lyrics below for your reading pleasure. You're welcome.

I lost my keys
In the great unknown
And call me please
'Cause I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy.
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately.
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed

This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've got to trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I might choose
But this is the stuff you use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines
While I'm running behind

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed

This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've got to trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I might choose but this is the stuff You use

To break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation

It's not the end of the world

This is the stuff that drives me crazy.
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of little my mess
I forget how big I'm blessed

This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've got to trust you know exactly what You're doing
Might not be what I would choose but this is the stuff You use

This is the stuff You use

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Obviously, I'm not 21 anymore.

My bf Caitlin graduated from Cooley Law School on Saturday. (Applause!!)

Obviously, since I'm her #1 fan, I was most definitely in the audience to whoop it up as she waltzed across the stage in her fabulous silver heels.

And obviously, I was also there to buy her shot after shot after shot to celebrate her achievements.

And obviously, we totally got kicked out of the bar.*

And obviously, I totally threw up that night.

And obviously, I paid for it the next morning.

Moral(s) of the story: My bf is the smartest ever and I am so proud of her. Additionally, I am no longer 21 and should probably not attempt a similar celebration in the near future. Also? Momma's still got that a young suitor offered to buy me a drink!

*Let the record state that it was not our actions but the words of someone in our party that actually got him thrown out of the bar. Literally. We just had to leave with him because otherwise he would have ended up upside down in a trashcan somewhere on a sketchy corner in downtown Lansing.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Fabulous Five.

Thanks to Trop50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 fabulous wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to help grant a friend's wish!

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Some of my favorite words start with the letter 'f'. Fabulous. Family. Friends. That one when I stub my toe. And today, I thought I would share with you Five of my Favorite bloggers. We're all a community here, so why not share the love?

1. Heir to Blair. Honestly, this should come as NO surprise to any of you, since I link up to her hilariousness about once a week. If she 'n Harrison aren't already in your feed, you need to hop on it ay-sap. She's a fabulous, fun writer (working mom!) with a bit of Southern Charm and sass...and is always, always good for a laugh when her mad Microsoft Paint skills come out. Oh, and it helps that her son, Harrison, is 17 flavors of adorable.

2. Harper's Happenings. I believe I actually stalked found Mandy and her little corner of the internets through Blair's blog, though I most likely cannot confirm this. Anyway, "The Haps" is another of my daily reads. Her lack of capital letters and love of narwhals are charming, and her daughter basically should be the poster child for cute kids everywhere. Oh, and in her spare time she also manages to author the Kidlet blog (fun and cool things for kids!) and last year opened her online vintage shop, Opal. And maybe there was that one time I called her my White Oprah. Just saying.

3. From Marriage to Motherhood. I've been 'ooh-ing' and 'aahh-ing' over Jessica's blog since way back when it was titled "An Atlanta Bride." At that time, she was blogging about her ah-maz-ing wedding (Seriously, it was ridiculous. The Knot Atlanta even gave her a four page spread!). Since then, she has managed to evolve her blog as her life has changed--chronicling her pregnancy and the birth of her beautiful daughter, Ilah. (Isn't that a great name?!?) Anyway, Jessica's blog (and heart) is truly a thing of beauty. She spices things up with home tours, letters to her daughter and many, many pictures. But be warned...reading through her posts about her daughter's recent 1st birthday party will most likely make you feel like a failure as a Mother.

4. Clemsongirl and the Coach. Oh where oh where to begin with Clemsongirl? She's as real as real can be...and since her boys are older, reading her posts usually feels like I'm getting a VIP sneak peak at my future. But if I can have it half as together as her and still be snarky and fabulous like Jenn, I'm in. Oh, and if you've ever heard me reference "Dietwhateversonsale," I totally stole that from her. Credit where credit is due, and all that jazz.

5. Money Saving Mom. This is actually one of about 5 "couponing" sites that I follow, and many of the freebies and great coupons I share with y'all from time to time are shamelessly stolen from Crystal. Oh, and get this: she and her husband paid cash for their first home. Yes, you read that right. Cash. Not to say that's a feat that everyone can accomplish just by rockin' some P&G Brandsaver coupons at Target, but like I always say....every little bit counts!

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Don't forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to support a friend's wish.

I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Le sigh.

I am super glad this week is OVER. Mostly because it was the most horrific week, ever.

Poor wittle Alex came down with the flu at daycare on Tuesday. Obviously, when children are vomiting on other children, they're notsomuch welcome at places such as we got him early and kept him home all week.

Fastforward through me getting it, Joe getting it, and work being the suckiest, ever, and it was all in all a no good, very bad week.

But mad props to the best SIL ever, Jill, for coming to our rescue last night. If Kyle hadn't already married her, I might consider it.

Here's to a healthy February!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I think the Matchbox cars hump like rabbits and multiply while I sleep.

Toys. They are EVERYWHERE in our house. And when I say everywhere, I do mean everywhere.

The dirty laundry basket? Found a Lego train in there yesterday.

The lower kitchen cabinet where we keep Alex-friendly items? Found a sock in there the other day.

My shoes left by the front door? Found a piece of train track as I was leaving the house at 7 am today. (Ouch.)

I've got all the organizer bins, the baskets, the bookshelves... everything that (in theory) should keep our life in order. Alex just moves a little faster than we're able to keep up.

And even though I mutter every curse word under the sun when I step barefoot on a Matchbox car as I'm stumbling to the loo at 3 am, it brings a little smile to my face knowing that Alex is likely smart enough to realize what he's doing.

"Yeah, Mom. Remember that timeout you put me in today? Enjoy this little present tonight..."

**places Matchbox car in hallway and giggles as he squeals off to color on the walls**

Touche, kid. Touche.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Happy birthday, my love.

Today we celebrate the birthday of one Joseph A. Van Wormer.

I love you because...

Our life is adventurous.

Our life is silly.

Our life is...well, weird.

Our life is family and tradition.


But mostly I love you for three very simple reasons.

You asked me to marry you.

You actually married me.

You gave me the most incredible family.

I love you today, tomorrow and always. Thank you for being a man of character, strength, faith, passion, love, honor, humor, compassion and integrity--someone I am proud to have our son look up to and emulate. Even if you do fart in your sleep sometimes. Happy birthday, my love.

Friday, January 14, 2011

So Fabulous.

I know, right??! This is the fabulous tote bag that the ever so talented Sarah (of so sarah designs) made me for my birthday! It was her first ever attempt at a tote to add to her collection and it's BRILLS. It's not up on her etsy site yet (I believe she was waiting for my squeals of delight to ensure it would be a saleable hit), but I will alert the masses when it is. In the meantime, feel free to peruse her other wares, here.

The ruffs! Swoon.

Interior pocket for the organizer in us all.

The detail and craft(wo)manship are impeccable!

Flowers! Sparkles! Ruffs! Oh, my!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.

I also hate liars, coconut (the food, not the lotion), cats and hangnails.

But moving on...

I went to the North American International Auto Show today, because let's face it, why not? Oh, and probably because it pays the bills... Anyway, I saw this:

WANT. For obvious reasons.

Also? Our dear friends Sarah and Jason were in town last night and we got together for dinner at Rochester Mills Brewery. In the section adjacent to our table there was a speed dating event happening. Oh em gee. It was like watching a car accident in drunk, sloppy, awkward slow motion. So very, very wrong but I couldn't look away. Speed dating. What an atrocity.

Additionally, Sarah crafted me THE MOST AMAZING birthday present, EVER. It's quite possibly the most brilliant accessory I've ever owned. Sparkles. Flowers. Ruffles. (!!!!!!) Pictures tomorrow, promise.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dear Daddy.

I LOVE your iPad. Mommy was so cool to get it for you for Christmas. Thank you for downloading that cool aquarium app. I love to play with it and squeal "fissies!" as they swim past me.

Also, thank you for teaching me fun things about fissies, because I love them just like you do. I can't wait to go fissing with you someday when I am a big boy.

Basically, I think you are the funnest, coolest Daddy, ever. I love you.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Overdue, But With Good Intentions.

Remember waaaaaaay back when I did that teaser post about a product review for the fine, fine peeps over at CSN stores? Welp, I'm here to make good on it!

Per uge, I have a swell excuse reason for why I'm just getting to this now...the product I received and reviewed was a Christmas present for Alex! And so, while it came in the mail very quickly after I ordered it, it sat under the tree wrapped in all its glory until Mister Alex tore it open on Christmas morning.

Behold, the KidKraft 2-in-1 Lego and Train Activity Table from

It was an all-around hit at the VeeDub house. It was a breeze to put together (score) and it's big enough to be useful for playspace and storage (double score) but small enough that it doesn't take up 4,789,357 square feet of my basement (hyperbole, but triple score).

The quality of the table itself is tip-top. The lid that transitions from a Lego table to a train track (train, track and Legos included!) is just brills. I do, however, wish that the magnets on the train were a little stronger. Alex gets frustrated when he's wheeling it along the tracks (with cute "tchoo tchoo" sound effects) and it doesn't all stay together.

We have yet to actually use the Lego side, mostly because Alex's current obsession with trains doesn't allow for us to play with or watch anything non-rail related.

In summary, I'm once again a super satisfied customer of In this particular transaction, we got a quality product at a great value--with free shipping to boot!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

If Hard Work Were Really A Virtue, Then Mules Would Be Saints.

Do you know those days when it feels like you can conquer the world and you work like a bumblebee with roid rage getting what seems like everything but world peace solved? And then at the end of the day you look proudly at what you've accomplished and your to-do list is actually longer than when the day began? Yeah. I'm having one of those days weeks.

But in the spirit of happiness and Red Bull and sunshine and Cheez-its (all things that make me happy), I would like to introduce you to two of the newer loves of my life, one of which you haven't seen for awhile, and the other you will meet for the first time today!

It's Niephew!!!! Look how big (s)he's getting! Kelli's ultrasound yesterday predicted a holycrapgiantwhopperbaby at 6 lbs. 12 oz. ALREADY. Start praying for her girl parts, like, now.

And this adorable little bun in the oven is Jackson David, aka Alex's bff. His Momma, Lindsay, is a fab friend from college and I am SO PUMPED that she and her hubby are spawning a boy into the world. Jack and Alex will be bffs in college and have every class together and be giant study nerds, just like their Mommas. Hopefully they'll raise some hell along the way, too...because what's college without a few shenanigans?

The moral of today's story is that working hard eventually pays off. In the case of Kelli and Lindsay, their 9 months of basically the hardest work that exists (growing a human being from scratch) will be paying off very, very soon. Kelli in February and Lindsay in March.

As for me? Well, my hard work is mostly a work in progress. But cheers (Red Bull, vodka optional) to a productive weekend!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The One Where I'm Still Alive.

Hello, friends of the internets. I feel like we haven't seen each other...well, in a year! I've been basking in the gloriousness that is 10 days of vacation. Which, roughly translated means many naps, lots of snackage, crazy fun times with friends and family and an overall week of selfish.

And it was glorious.

But now? Now I must get back into the schwing of things and start working. And blogging. And Mommying. And Wifeing. And all those other things I let slippity slide in December.

There's much to recap about the happenings around the VeeDub Christmas celebrations. Namely, how Alex is obsessed with trains, repeating EVERYTHING (oh, and I do mean EVERYthing) he hears, counts to 20, spouts his ABCs like he's baby Einstein and about that one time we took him to an indoor water park and his head almost exploded from sheer happiness. And about how EVERYONE on planet earth should own a Keurig and an iPad because they are equally the most genius inventions on the planet. Yes, we have much to talk about.

But in the meantime, please enjoy this pic of my boys before boarding the smallest.plane.ever to hop from Philly to New Haven. And another from when we got off the plane and were waiting in the smallest airport ever. And yes, he's wearing a sock monkey hat. And his Grammi's coat. I die.