Friday, January 28, 2011

Desk decor.

I believe since most people spend more time in the office than pratically anywhere else, the desk area is a personal sanctuary that should personalized as one sees fit....within reason.

For instance, amongst the rampant paper and sticky note clutter scattered about my desk, you'll also find a super cute lamp, 49,285,032,745 pictures of Alex/family/friends, a bedazzled coffee mug, my XM Radio, a poster that says "Who says you can't climb the corporate ladder in heels?" and a whimsical whiteboard that I use for random thoughts and doodles.

Other people have plants. Or those stupid stress relief sandboxes. Or noodle art from their kids. Or space heaters. One guy I know even has a water purifier.

But there is one desk accessory that I find to be superior to all others, and every time I see one I can't help but squeal with delight on the inside: The framed, professional glamour shot of the wife.

I know. You love them too.

Imagine, if you will, a 50-something overweight, poorly dressed engineer that clips his nails at his desk and eats canned soup every.single.day for lunch. In stark contrast, proudly displayed on his desk is an 8x10 framed photo of what, at first glance, looks like a Bratz doll. But in reality, it's his photoshopped-within-an-inch-of-her-life wife from a Glamour Shots session.

And the wife (or wives, as it were, since I've seen many examples of this in my days...) obviously had the following rational conversation with herself at some point in this process:

Self, you should make an appointment for a Glamour Shots session. Yes, that is a grand idea. You shall have perfect strangers coat your face with 12 lbs. of makeup and use at least 3 cans of hairspray to poof your hair circa 1984. Then, you shall get almost naked, delicately wrap a feather boa around yourself and smile for the camera wearing sexy fire engine red lipstick, too much blush and a very, very awkward head tilt. Maybe even lightly graze the side of your face with your pointer fingtertip for that "extra" touch. Then you will get large prints made up and framed and gift them to your loving husband for Christmas (because he will obviously love that more than an iPad or new golf clubs). At which point, hubby will proudly display it on his desk at work for GOD AND EVERYONE to see and compliment.

What part of this makes sense to anyone else? What's more, it's not like the wife will even actually know that you put it on your desk. Put it in a drawer, man, and pull it out the 2 times a year she comes to take you to lunch.

3 comments:

Paul, Julie, and Charlie Brewer said...

I have also whitnessed a glamour shot photo on a random desk here! It is a lil creepy!!!! I don't get it.

Emily said...

...at first glance, looks like a Bratz doll. Love it!

Sad thing is -in the 7th grade, I wanted them badly!

Jenn and Blain said...

OR my husband, who took a picture of me with his phone the day he got it (to play with his camera phone some three years ago) as I was in my jammies and un-cute pony on a saturday morning ... and he shows people this photo.

he shows this photo to people?!?!

I learned that a few months ago and wanted to die ... so on a date night shortly after, I took a picture of me with his phone and deleted the old one. No glamor shot (thank god) but better than me in my Jammies and yucky saturday morning bedhead!