Sometimes I Just Wanna Eat My Sammitch In Peace.

Let me set the stage: Joey, 2 coworkers and I sit down in the campus cafeteria for lunch. (For those viewers just tuning in, yes, JVW and I work together. And yes, it works. Very well.)

Enter CEO, who awkwardly sits at our table and attempts to join in on casual lunch conversation. Lame.

And so it goes for 45 minutes of painful, regrettable conversation.

I totally get it. The big wigs want to seem like they are at our level. You know, chill with the working folk and give the appearance of being a "normal" guy. But sometimes, I just want to comfortably sit with my peeps and talk about how much corporate America sucks; or about Alex's latest diaper explosion; or about how nearly everyone I used to work with has recently quit (more on that later...). And I cannot do any of those things while Mr. CEO is staring at me blankly, trying to remember my name and wondering why he continues to sign my paychecks. Oh, not to mention the fact that meanwhile, I'm trying to maintain somewhat intelligent conversation while simultaneously attempting to gracefully keep my turkey sammitch between my lips.

As you can tell, it was not the relaxing lunch hour I needed. Ugh.

Note to self: when I take over as CEO of the universe, do not attempt to have casual, spur-of-the-moment lunches with the "little guys." They do not appreciate it. Instead, hide in my office with Subway. Much more effective use of time and energy.