Saturday, August 31, 2013


Six years ago, I was filled with more nerves and anticipation than every 30 year old in the world on Sunday night, waiting to see if N'SYNC was really going to reunite at the VMAs.

But, unlike N'SYNC's disappointing 30-second performance, my anticipation six years ago has lead to so much more.

Vacations. Alex. Adventures. Babies. Unfathomable loss. A new home. Heartbreak. #VW3040. Laughter. Tears. Partnership. Harper.

And yet, through all of that, nothing has really changed. I still look at him the same way I did six years ago from the other end of the church aisle. Sure, there might be a few more pounds, wrinkles and sparkles of grey hair (on both our parts), but we've traveled our journey together--the best way.

If there's one thing that marriage and these last six years has taught me, it's that lots and lots of things change, and you actually have control over very little of what actually happens in your story. The one constant? The characters you choose to be a part of your story. And I'm so glad I chose THIS leading man for my story.

Happy Anniversary, my love. Damn, we look good.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Reality sets in.

I'm starting to get all hormonal & emotional about how ENORMOUS Alex is going to seem once Harper gets here, so I did the obvious thing and started looking back through his pictures. Bad idea, Kristi. Bad idea.

Alex, fresh out the womb:

Happy FIRST birthday!

Happy SECOND birthday!

Happy THIRD birthday!

Happy FOURTH birthday!

Gah. Nostalgia. But, like I said in my birthday letter to him, I wouldn't have time move any faster or slower. It's perfect just the way it is. But if anyone is curious, 2 was my favorite.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Halloween costume cheats 101.

Here's my "Mom of the Year" tips on creating a mediocre and mostly reusable Halloween costume for your 4 year old, knowing 13 days previous to the holiday your other child will be sliced from your womb. AKA, preparedness.

Own this movie and watch it 3 times a week, minimum.

Take him to see this movie so it instantly becomes quotable and his favorite and he begs to be a minion for Halloween.

Buy this hat on etsy for $15.

Buy overalls on ebay for $8. (Unless you already own overalls for your toddler, in which case, I'm sorry for your toddler. Listen, it's not personal. I just have a hate/hate relationship with overalls.)

Buy this pin for $3.50 to put on the overalls. Yes, even though you "could" make it yourself out of felt and super glue for like a penny. But this is easier. And you'll swear less.

Buy this shirt for under the overalls.

Put it all together to make an adorable Minion costume that is 50% post-Halloween reusable.

And that, my friends, is how this internet-loving Momma (see also: lazy and crafting-avert) does an easy-peasy Halloween costume for her Minion-loving boy.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of a squash! 
Still growing, your baby weighs in at about 2.5 to 3.8 pounds and measures about 15.2 to 16.7 inches.

bV at 32 weeks:
- She's getting ready for her descent -- she's likely in the head-down position now. Confirmed.
- And she's probably feeling a even more cramped.

In other news, we made some significant progress on Harper's room over the last few weeks, and I'm SO excited to share it in all it's pink and girly glory. Here's a sneak peek:

H - Michael's; I painted it; Clearance!
H flower - Hobby Lobby; 40% off coupon!
Canvas quote - Homegoods
Bedding - Homegoods
Tulle pillow - Meijer
Harper pillow - esty
Polka dot pillow - Homegoods; Clearance!

Alex was so excited when he saw her crib for the first time, exclaiming, "Mom! It's a bed for Harper! Now she has a place for her naps!" (I mean, as soon as we get a mattress in it.)

Can you see the mater sticker on the head rail? Harper is using Alex's old crib, so when we put it together his beloved Cars stickers were still there...and Joe was feeling sentimental so we just left them on. The second phrase out of Alex's mouth was, "But MOM! Those are BOY stickers and Harper is a GIRL." And he quickly demanded we take them off as to not offend Harper's feminism and he's placed them in their new & rightful spot on the wall in his bedroom. 

Sibling rivalry. And so it begins.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Shameless post.

It's been awhile since I've done one of my typical, shameless posts asking you to vote for something or another, so I figure today is the day.

As you all know, I'm one of Target's greatest customers, and they do great things as far as donating to communities, schools and education. Through their "Give with Target" program running right now via Facebook, you just have to vote for a school (nothing else - no signups, social security numbers, blood donations, etc.) and after the first 25 votes are received, that school gets $25...and for every vote after that, another $1 up to their $5M in planned donations. It sounds hard, but it's actually quite cinchy.

Anyway, both my brother and SIL work at a great little school in Clio, Mich. called Garner Elementary. Do us all a favor and vote for Garner to get some much-needed moolah, please?

Click here to cast your vote.

You can vote 1x/week until Sept. 21 & can also tweet about it to spread the word - use #GiveWithTarget.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Pregnancy ain't pretty.

I'm sure if I sat here long enough I could come up with a laundry list of reasons why pregnancy is the most beautiful thing the galaxy. But in the here and now (see also: 31 weeks), the single good thing I can think of about pregnancy is the outcome itself. And even that can be questionable (see also: when your 4 year old learns that boogers and farts are funny).

And so, because I don't think I've done nearly enough complaining around here lately to keep you properly entertained, I give you my current top 5 list of things about pregnancy that can take a long walk off a short bridge. In no particular order, since I hate them all equally:

  1. Leg cramps. Dear GOD the leg cramps. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night fearing my actual leg is being hacked off at the knee. And I eat my fair share of bananas, yo.
  2. Pee. I'm not quite sure how pregnancy plumbing works, but I know it's real different from not-pregnant plumbing. All I do is pee. All the times. Peeing. Every minute. Of every day.
  3. Pelvic stompings. With each and every step I take (which is a lot...please see #2) Harper knocks on my pelvis as if to ask, "May I come out yet?" I tell her YES every damn time, but allegedly she's playing a mean game of "ring and run" on me. Not cool, Harper. Not cool.
  4. Food in general. Five minutes ago I wanted a granola bar. Now? I'm pretty sure granola is the worst idea, ever. This is the story of mealtime for me, 3 times a day, 7 days a week.
  5. Clothes. Every single piece of maternity clothing ever made can go straight to hell as far as I'm concerned. The pants? Don't stay up. The shirts? Annoyingly too short or too boobalicious or too full of ridiculous bows or frill. The dresses? Miu mius, the lot of 'em.
I could probably take this list up to 100, but we'll keep it at 5 today so I have some more material for other posts. Ciao, gotta pee.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of a pineapple!
She's about 15.2 to 16.7 inches long and weighs about 2.5 to 3.8 pounds this month. She's getting so big, she's probably crowding your lungs. Understatement of the world.

bV at 31 weeks:
- She's going through major brain and nerve development.
- Eye development, too. Her irises now react to light! All five of her senses are in working order.

In a super dee duper fun turn of events, Harper was absolutely blessed with a surprise sprinkle (a smaller, more intimate baby "shower" after your first baby...sprinkle/shower....get it?!?) on Saturday. Mom, Jill, Kelli, the boys and I came home from a yummy lunch at Qdoba to find my driveway full of my closest friends and family. My bestie, Caitlin, FLEW here all the way from DC and we were able to Facetime with Lindsay who's on preggo house arrest with twins! And yes, I cried.

The girls absolutely nailed the theme, as you can see here by the invitations:

I was overwhelmed at the amount of planning and thought put into every last detail (they took a giant margarita machine INTO 7-11 and filled it with REAL Slurpee!), and I am so thankful to everyone who came and especially to Mom, Kelli, Jill and Keliann for thinking of me and Harper and pulling off such a GREAT surprise. To say this little girl is spoiled is the understatement of a LIFETIME.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Cousins, reunited.

The Turners were in town for a whirlwind weekend that included a family wedding and a *surprise* sprinkle for Miss Harper - more on that awesomeness later.

In the meantime while I get caught up on the 436,823,003,665 pictures on my camera and phone, here are a few sweet shots of the boys for you to swoon over.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of a cucumber! 
Your 15.2- to 16.7-inch, 2.5- to 3.8-pound baby continues to grow.

bV at 30 weeks
- Her skin is getting smoother.
- But her brain is getting wrinklier -- to make way for all that essential brain tissue.
- She's now strong enough to grasp a finger!

**No bump picture today, because I honest to cheese forgot, and now I'm too lazy to take one.
So instead, here's a picture of a donut.**

EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME NOW: THIRTY WEEKS!! *clapclapclapclapclap* And while the pessimist in me pounds her head repeatedly against a brick wall because the converse is to see NINE more weeks left of being pregnant, I'll pause for a moment that I've survived 30.

Aaaaand, moment over.

I've officially started to put together my maternity leave plan for work and submitted all the pre-paperwork to the hospital. This is all getting very real...very fast. I think I've maybe just been in denial for 29 weeks? Regardless, sassy little Miss Harper will be here in 65 days. EEP!

Happy birthday, Nana!

A very, very happy birthday to Joey's Momma and Alex's Nana!  We hope your day is AWESOME!

^^ I cannot with how little he is in this picture.

Monday, August 12, 2013

The mother of all weekends.

Aside from Harper being on my last nerve (literally), this weekend was the gem of all weekends.

First, we made HUGE progress in the world of swimming. Although Alex loves water, he's not been so keen on adventuring into the pool alone of late. But look at this:

Now we can hardly keep him OUT of the water, but I have no complaints because floating weightless in the pool is just what me 'n Harper are jamming to these days.

We also made the obligatory weekend trip to Costco where Alex may or may not have been thrown into the box of giant pandas:

And on Saturday night, Alex had his first campout. Let's not be silly, I slept in my warm, comfy bed, but the boys had a great time--and much to my surprise, they actually slept in there ALL night.

And if all that weren't enough we started our official countdown of "Sleeps until Samuel" - last night we were at 5. See you soon, Samuel!!!

Thursday, August 8, 2013

The very definition of 'oxymoron.'

Whilst stumbling over the pages of Old Navy's maternity section for some new miu mius clothes to wear over the next 2 months, I came across this:

  It's as if Old Navy just gave me a big, virtual middle finger. Right back 'atcha, ON. Right back 'atcha.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of an acorn squash!
Baby already measures about 15.2 to 16.7 inches long. Right now, she weighs about 2.5 to 3.8 pounds but she's still got a ways to go -- can you believe she'll triple in weight before birth? And I probably will too, for what it's worth.

bV at 29 weeks 
- She's getting a little cramped in there, since she's growing so fast. But you probably already realize that, since you're getting all those jabs and kicks. Amen, amen.
- She's growing white fat deposits under her skin, and her energy is surging because of it.
- Feel a subtle twitch? It might be baby hiccupping.

Baby girl is ridin' high, and mercy me do I feel it. All last week I was in excruciating pain at the bottom of my ribcage because she was sitting/punching/eating/roundhouse kicking the nerves running along my floating ribs. Oh yes, and last week was also when we were on vacation. It was very magical. Anyway, she seems to have finally let go of whatever her beef was with my nervous system and all is currently well with what once felt like pure acid being poured upon my flesh.

In stark contrast, here's what I looked like at 29 weeks with Alex. See also: Harper's gotta be coming early. Right? RIGHT?!?

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

On general laziness and shopping problems.

My sister and her family are coming for a visit next weekend, and I had very, very good intentions on having Harper's room all set up so they could see it and generally "ooh" and "ahh" over all the things.

And then I remembered I would probably rather sleep and eat ice cream than set up a room that I legitimately have at least 2 more months to procrastinate over.

So I compromised with myself and put everything I'd been hoarding/buying/saving/planning that was scattered about the room and "organized" it in the closet, instead.

It's kind of the best of both worlds, because Kelli can still get a glimpse of all the things and I get two more months of procrastinating and ice cream eating and Joey gets 2 more months of figuring out how in the hell he's going to mount those giant yellow ceiling tiles on the wall. See? Everyone wins.

But the real winner in all this is Miss Harper, 'cause her room is totally going to be the jam. Here's a sneak peek at the collection currently stashed in the closet.

It's a dizzying and colorful spell of dots, flowers and chevrons and while sometimes I find myself blinking and confused that it's not all trucks and cars and planes, it is what it is: girly and fab. Joey opened the doors and I think he stopped breathing for 19 seconds, but that's fine.