Showing posts with label hot mess. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hot mess. Show all posts
Thursday, August 8, 2013
The very definition of 'oxymoron.'
Whilst stumbling over the pages of Old Navy's maternity section for some new miu mius clothes to wear over the next 2 months, I came across this:
It's as if Old Navy just gave me a big, virtual middle finger. Right back 'atcha, ON. Right back 'atcha.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Exactly 3 months from today...
Harper will be here!
I'm scheduled for my C-Section on October 18--bright 'n early. In some ways, 3 months feels like just enough time to get ready for her, and in other ways (you know, like all the normal ones) it feels like an eternity.
In related news, it's hot as balls in metro Detroit and I'm seconds from vaporizing into a pile of swollen cankles. Daily, I want to dump a Slurpee down my pants to cool off, but then I would be real sad about not being able to actually drink it, so instead I just sit and sweat. Literally.
I'm scheduled for my C-Section on October 18--bright 'n early. In some ways, 3 months feels like just enough time to get ready for her, and in other ways (you know, like all the normal ones) it feels like an eternity.
In related news, it's hot as balls in metro Detroit and I'm seconds from vaporizing into a pile of swollen cankles. Daily, I want to dump a Slurpee down my pants to cool off, but then I would be real sad about not being able to actually drink it, so instead I just sit and sweat. Literally.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
1 week! 1 week!
We take a small break from my regular enthusiasm regarding the move to address 4 things that suck.
1. I have been pregnant for roughly 6 of the last 12 months with nothing to show for it but a tired body and 3 pairs of kickass maternity jeans from Gap that I got on clearance that have yet to see the light of day.
2. Hospitals should not be allowed to send bills for visits that sucked. See also: miscarriage, death, cancer, loss of limbs. Only people whose lives they actually save or make better should have to pay bills. Obviously I'm being melodramatic but you get my point. I don't need ANOTHER reminder, thankyouveryuch.
3. People should not be allowed to send meeting notices from the 11:30 am hour into the 1 pm hour, most specifically from 12-1. As such. I've been declining all meetings during this time because, hello? I'm eating. Back off.
4. I have packed at least 1 box a day (probably an average of 3) since July 16. I made detailed spreadsheets and alphabetized lists of all the things that needed to get done up to the minute of the move, and despite the rooms full of packed boxes and bubble wrap, I still feel like I've accomplished next to nothing. I'm an anxious, hot mess and I just want to be in my house already.
In totally related news, this time next week I will be wearing a tiara and wielding a wand instructing all the big, strong men where to put my things. Eeeee!
1. I have been pregnant for roughly 6 of the last 12 months with nothing to show for it but a tired body and 3 pairs of kickass maternity jeans from Gap that I got on clearance that have yet to see the light of day.
2. Hospitals should not be allowed to send bills for visits that sucked. See also: miscarriage, death, cancer, loss of limbs. Only people whose lives they actually save or make better should have to pay bills. Obviously I'm being melodramatic but you get my point. I don't need ANOTHER reminder, thankyouveryuch.
3. People should not be allowed to send meeting notices from the 11:30 am hour into the 1 pm hour, most specifically from 12-1. As such. I've been declining all meetings during this time because, hello? I'm eating. Back off.
4. I have packed at least 1 box a day (probably an average of 3) since July 16. I made detailed spreadsheets and alphabetized lists of all the things that needed to get done up to the minute of the move, and despite the rooms full of packed boxes and bubble wrap, I still feel like I've accomplished next to nothing. I'm an anxious, hot mess and I just want to be in my house already.
In totally related news, this time next week I will be wearing a tiara and wielding a wand instructing all the big, strong men where to put my things. Eeeee!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Yesterday, in pictures.
Hair sweat courtesy of nth Degree Fitness in Royal Oak. Also, I was parked when the above photos were so skillfully taken. I promise.
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