Well, at least most parts of the 3rd trimester aren't. Allow me to share with you some bits and pieces of my yesterday, will you?
The day started off normal enough: the typical 3-4 tries to get out of bed, loafing to the shower and preparing for the day in slow motion. I got to work and was less than enthused about actually boosting shareholders' value...but begrudgingly did it, anyway.
After lunch I'm quite sure that a giant, metaphorical 18 wheeler hit me head-on. All of a sudden I felt that my only two options in life were either to vom or pass out (luckily, I experienced neither).
So I packed it up and headed home early. No sooner had I let Jake outside, I was on the couch and down for the count. I slept until around 6 when Joe got home and from then out was really only functional to eat, pee and halfheartedly Facebook. My body was experiencing some other joyful and graphic functions, but I will spare you those details. Let's just say that anything you were doing last night was far, far better than my experiences.
I seem to be back to normal today - still feeling very sleepy but I have some energy and pep back in my step. The tall, nf, decaf, 1 Splenda latte from Starbuckies is helping, too...life is grand.
I suppose it's to be expected. I am, after all, growing a human inside me. Do you ever wonder what Eve thought about being pregnant? This morning when WIP was performing an Irish step dance on my ribcage I really thought about what she must've thought about all this. She didn't have any precedent to go by - no docs to show her an ultrasound, no friends to tell her tales of what her body might go through, no books to reinforce that everything she was feeling was normal. I suppose having a direct line to God sort of eliminates the need for doctors, friends and books...but still. Kinda "big" to fathom, no?
I literally could go on for days about the random things like that I think about. But I will spare you today. It is Friday, after all. Yippie!
Tonight Joey and I are hitting up our first Mom2Mom sale in Farmington Hills. Can't wait to tell you about all the screamin' deals I get my swollen, fat hands on!!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Today's Rant.
Despite my usual crabbiness about being enormous, there are times I rather enjoy being pregnant. I love eating lots of crazy and scrumptious things. I love that Joey is amazing (not that he's less amazing when I'm not knocked up...but it's just different kind of attention). I love singing to WIP and feeling him kick me (not sure if he's clapping or booing). I love wearing sweatpants 99% of the time.
And I know it's very uncharacteristic of most pregnant women, but I actually really like it when people rub my belly. Even if it's a perfect stranger...I honestly don't mind at all. In fact, I sort of wish it happened more often, but I suppose people are hesitant to just go up to a random belly and rub it.
But there is something that drives me absolutely batty - people constantly asking how far along I am. It's one thing to ask me every now and again; I get that. If you ask no more than once a month you're a-ok with me. But asking every single time I see you is simply unacceptable. If the last time you asked me I was 32 weeks and that was one week ago...do the math. I'm 33 weeks now, moron.
I know it's a silly thing to get agitated over. Especially since I don't mind the strange belly-rubbing. But there is this one lady who literally asks me every time I see her how far along I am. Sometimes it's more than once a day. No joke!
I'm five minutes farther along than the last time you asked me, lady. Now step off.
And I know it's very uncharacteristic of most pregnant women, but I actually really like it when people rub my belly. Even if it's a perfect stranger...I honestly don't mind at all. In fact, I sort of wish it happened more often, but I suppose people are hesitant to just go up to a random belly and rub it.
But there is something that drives me absolutely batty - people constantly asking how far along I am. It's one thing to ask me every now and again; I get that. If you ask no more than once a month you're a-ok with me. But asking every single time I see you is simply unacceptable. If the last time you asked me I was 32 weeks and that was one week ago...do the math. I'm 33 weeks now, moron.
I know it's a silly thing to get agitated over. Especially since I don't mind the strange belly-rubbing. But there is this one lady who literally asks me every time I see her how far along I am. Sometimes it's more than once a day. No joke!
I'm five minutes farther along than the last time you asked me, lady. Now step off.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Blog Giveaway!
We all know I pretty much live and breathe for free, reduced or otherwise cheaper-than-retail items.
Well, I've recently come to learn of these things called "Blog Giveaways," wherein bloggers literally give away an item (sometimes very, very cool things) to their followers. You get more entries by being a blog follower or linking from your blog to the giveaway.
So, consider this my lame and pathetic attempt at getting three entries in Misadventures of a Newlywed's preppy tote giveaway. Go ch-ch-check it out!
And maybe I'll do a giveaway of my own someday. Stay tuned!
Well, I've recently come to learn of these things called "Blog Giveaways," wherein bloggers literally give away an item (sometimes very, very cool things) to their followers. You get more entries by being a blog follower or linking from your blog to the giveaway.
So, consider this my lame and pathetic attempt at getting three entries in Misadventures of a Newlywed's preppy tote giveaway. Go ch-ch-check it out!
And maybe I'll do a giveaway of my own someday. Stay tuned!
Hump Day, Bump Day!
Time sure does fly when you're lugging around 20 extra pounds. I keed, I keed. But it is incredible to think that we're in week 33 already! At the infamous Childbirth Ed class, Madelyn was telling us that depending on the woman, the first signs of labor will occur anywhere from 35 weeks to 42 weeks. Joe just looked at me with big, happily frightened eyes and said, "Holy cow that's 2 weeks!" Hard to believe...but we are so, so anxious for him to get here.
"Congratulations, Kristi! You're 33 Weeks Pregnant. Your baby measures about 19.4 inches from head to toe and weighs about 4.4 pounds. In the next few weeks, your baby will be growing rapidly. He will gain more than half his birth weight in the next seven weeks. Baby begins to move less now as he runs out of room and curls up with knees bent, chin resting on chest and arms and legs crossed. The uterus is about 5.2 inches above your navel, and you've gained between 22 and 28 pounds. Of the pound a week you're gaining now, roughly half is going to your baby. "
"Congratulations, Kristi! You're 33 Weeks Pregnant. Your baby measures about 19.4 inches from head to toe and weighs about 4.4 pounds. In the next few weeks, your baby will be growing rapidly. He will gain more than half his birth weight in the next seven weeks. Baby begins to move less now as he runs out of room and curls up with knees bent, chin resting on chest and arms and legs crossed. The uterus is about 5.2 inches above your navel, and you've gained between 22 and 28 pounds. Of the pound a week you're gaining now, roughly half is going to your baby. "
I'm predicting that while it's safe to say that WIP will double in size, so will I. I'm already noticing that my favorite tees from Old Navy aren't long enough to cover my tum tum anymore. Sadness. But where can I buy shirts that are LONGER than a maternity shirt? Any ideas? Short of going to a store for giants, I think I'm stuck.
Oh, and another funny story related to my ginormousness...when I first found out I was prego it was late summer, so all of Old Navy's maternity winter clothes were like dirt cheap. In true Kristi bargain form, I pretty much bought every single item less than $5 on their site - most of which makes up my entire wardrobe at the moment. Anyway, I bought this REALLY cute pair of jeans and tried them on for my mom, Kelli and Susan on the day we told them I was PG. They were HUGE. Literally couldn't keep them up.
Guess what I wore shopping last night? Yeah...
But at least I looked cute!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Censored.
In last night's Childbirth Ed class we watched THE video. You know...that one. The one that shows evvvverrryyyyyyything. Whoosh. Totally was not prepared for that.
I was proud of Joe and me for not giggling through the entire thing like tools. We actually held our composure very well. Mostly I think he was either going to vom or pass out, but if that's what it took to keep him from laughing, I'm all for it.
There was actually a series of videos. Yes, more than one...goodygoody. There was about a 3 minute clip for each of the 3 "stages" of labor, plus a final one for the afterbirth. We only giggled once (and quietly) when Madelyn said they were going to show the placenta on the film and not to be alarmed that it looked like a liver. Joe said, "We could eat it with some fava beans," and I said "Wonder if they serve crackers with it?" I know. We're 12.
They showed the same 3 or 4 women progressing through labor, intertwined with narrative interviews. It was some time into the 3rd video (alllllmost the birth) that I realized all of the women they were showing us were not drugged. False. Advertising.
At the end of the videos, Madelyn asked if there were any questions. I spoke up and said, "So at what point in the 4 stages that we just saw do they administer drugs?" (Cue laughter from 95% of the class. Miss Priss looked at me as if I had asked when I could shoot my baby up with heroin.)
Madelyn replied, "Well, that depends on what kind of drugs you want or need."
I said, "Pretty much the strongest ones they make."
Again with the looks from Miss Priss!
Now, I know a lot of moms (and dads) are all about natural births. And I applaud you, I really do. But if you've ever met me, you know that I am notsogood with pain. Like, I am a beeyotch when I get a freakin' papercut. So, yes. I will be accepting any and all medications offered to me when I go into labor, legal or otherwise. Deal with it.
Back to the videos. They were scary. They were loud. They were exhilarating. They were beautiful. It really is incredible how God made us work. I mean, He even thought to make the plates in a baby's head 5 different pieces to fit through the birth canal. Personally, I wish He would have made the birth canal just a smidge bigger, but I'll deal with what I've got. :)
To those that have never seen a real, unedited birth video, I can't wait until you do. And I want to hear all about it. I'm not talking TLC's "A Baby Story," either. Totally not the same thing. Not. Even. Close.
I was proud of Joe and me for not giggling through the entire thing like tools. We actually held our composure very well. Mostly I think he was either going to vom or pass out, but if that's what it took to keep him from laughing, I'm all for it.
There was actually a series of videos. Yes, more than one...goodygoody. There was about a 3 minute clip for each of the 3 "stages" of labor, plus a final one for the afterbirth. We only giggled once (and quietly) when Madelyn said they were going to show the placenta on the film and not to be alarmed that it looked like a liver. Joe said, "We could eat it with some fava beans," and I said "Wonder if they serve crackers with it?" I know. We're 12.
They showed the same 3 or 4 women progressing through labor, intertwined with narrative interviews. It was some time into the 3rd video (alllllmost the birth) that I realized all of the women they were showing us were not drugged. False. Advertising.
At the end of the videos, Madelyn asked if there were any questions. I spoke up and said, "So at what point in the 4 stages that we just saw do they administer drugs?" (Cue laughter from 95% of the class. Miss Priss looked at me as if I had asked when I could shoot my baby up with heroin.)
Madelyn replied, "Well, that depends on what kind of drugs you want or need."
I said, "Pretty much the strongest ones they make."
Again with the looks from Miss Priss!
Now, I know a lot of moms (and dads) are all about natural births. And I applaud you, I really do. But if you've ever met me, you know that I am notsogood with pain. Like, I am a beeyotch when I get a freakin' papercut. So, yes. I will be accepting any and all medications offered to me when I go into labor, legal or otherwise. Deal with it.
Back to the videos. They were scary. They were loud. They were exhilarating. They were beautiful. It really is incredible how God made us work. I mean, He even thought to make the plates in a baby's head 5 different pieces to fit through the birth canal. Personally, I wish He would have made the birth canal just a smidge bigger, but I'll deal with what I've got. :)
To those that have never seen a real, unedited birth video, I can't wait until you do. And I want to hear all about it. I'm not talking TLC's "A Baby Story," either. Totally not the same thing. Not. Even. Close.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Ex-SQUEEZE Me?
Oy.
I have pretty much been steaming over this post since Saturday night, when the "incident" I'm about to write about occurred. Allow me to set the stage for you:
I was at a community fundraiser event in Muskegon with Kelli on Saturday. She's kind of a big deal around the state, so she was asked to emcee and perform at said fundraiser. I went for (mostly) entertainment value and to enjoy one of our last sister weekends before WIP arrives.
We arrived at the venue on Saturday a bit before the show began and I was wandering around, looking for Kelli. (Please note: I had on the same outfit I wore to my shower - polka dot dress, black tights, black ballet flats...I promise this is important information.) Anyway, I found Kelli and we were walking to the restroom (surprise!) when a grumbly old woman approached me and snarled, "You're pregnant. This is your first."
What I wanted to say was, "Yes, Captain Obvious. I AM pregnant. How astute of you to notice!" But I mustered all the fake pleasantness I could and said, "Yep! My first - due in April. We're so excited!"
And the snarly old wench said back to me (as she scanned her rich, snobby judgemental eyes up and down me), "I could tell. Those ankles!"
Hold me back. I'm gonna rip her face off. She said "Those ankles!" as if I had some sort of flesh eating bacteria all over my body and I repulsed her to her very core.
Remembering that I was a guest of Kelli's and not wanting to embarrass her, I swallowed my true feelings and plastered a Patty Pageant smile on my face and said through clenched teeth, "Oh, yes. Thank you so much for pointing that out. It really makes a pregnant girl feel good about herself." And laughed it off.
To which SHE replies (again, with the eye roll and judgmental eye-scan), "Well, I'm a doctor. I notice these things."
SERIOUSLY. I was more appalled than I've ever been in my life. A doctor of ALL people should know that you DON'T point out a prego-woman's cankles. As if I don't feel disgusting enough already.
In summary: she sucks. And I'm wearing pants from here on out.
**Edited to add: In my pregnant state of absentmindedness, I neglected to mention that I returned home from said trip to a fabulously cleaned house, complete with laundry done, folded and put away. And the ironing was done, too! I told you Joey was awesome. Be jealous.
I have pretty much been steaming over this post since Saturday night, when the "incident" I'm about to write about occurred. Allow me to set the stage for you:
I was at a community fundraiser event in Muskegon with Kelli on Saturday. She's kind of a big deal around the state, so she was asked to emcee and perform at said fundraiser. I went for (mostly) entertainment value and to enjoy one of our last sister weekends before WIP arrives.
We arrived at the venue on Saturday a bit before the show began and I was wandering around, looking for Kelli. (Please note: I had on the same outfit I wore to my shower - polka dot dress, black tights, black ballet flats...I promise this is important information.) Anyway, I found Kelli and we were walking to the restroom (surprise!) when a grumbly old woman approached me and snarled, "You're pregnant. This is your first."
What I wanted to say was, "Yes, Captain Obvious. I AM pregnant. How astute of you to notice!" But I mustered all the fake pleasantness I could and said, "Yep! My first - due in April. We're so excited!"
And the snarly old wench said back to me (as she scanned her rich, snobby judgemental eyes up and down me), "I could tell. Those ankles!"
Hold me back. I'm gonna rip her face off. She said "Those ankles!" as if I had some sort of flesh eating bacteria all over my body and I repulsed her to her very core.
Remembering that I was a guest of Kelli's and not wanting to embarrass her, I swallowed my true feelings and plastered a Patty Pageant smile on my face and said through clenched teeth, "Oh, yes. Thank you so much for pointing that out. It really makes a pregnant girl feel good about herself." And laughed it off.
To which SHE replies (again, with the eye roll and judgmental eye-scan), "Well, I'm a doctor. I notice these things."
SERIOUSLY. I was more appalled than I've ever been in my life. A doctor of ALL people should know that you DON'T point out a prego-woman's cankles. As if I don't feel disgusting enough already.
In summary: she sucks. And I'm wearing pants from here on out.
**Edited to add: In my pregnant state of absentmindedness, I neglected to mention that I returned home from said trip to a fabulously cleaned house, complete with laundry done, folded and put away. And the ironing was done, too! I told you Joey was awesome. Be jealous.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Sunday Savings.
Joe and I just got back from our semi-weekly grocery/miscellaneous item shopping trip to Meijer. This time, I ate before I went -- smart! That old adage, "never take a hungry pregnant woman shopping" is so, so true. Well, I suppose in our situation it's "never take a hungry Kristi or Joey shopping, regardless of spermination," but that's a post for another day.
As per my usual Sunday ritual, I clip-clip-clipped the coupons from the paper, filed through the existing stash and penned a shopping list before we left. That's right. I take this seriously.
I am so, so proud to report that we've bested our previous savings record by more than $30. Combining coupons and in-store savings, we saved $67.81.
I know. I about died, too. That vacation in November is looking more and more possible!!
As per my usual Sunday ritual, I clip-clip-clipped the coupons from the paper, filed through the existing stash and penned a shopping list before we left. That's right. I take this seriously.
I am so, so proud to report that we've bested our previous savings record by more than $30. Combining coupons and in-store savings, we saved $67.81.
I know. I about died, too. That vacation in November is looking more and more possible!!
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