Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Out. Of. Control.

The mysterious office nail clipper has clipped TWICE this week. Yes, I know it's only Tuesday. I literally had to completely evacuate my presence from the 3rd floor to keep from tossing my Starbucks and Kashi Bar into File 13. So uncool, man. So uncool.

Here's the juicy tidbit: he's no longer mysterious. I KNOW WHO HE IS. I have a name, an occupation and I've seen pictures of his kids. Yes, the same man who has the audacity to clip his nails in a public and professional office setting also, at some point, tricked some poor, unknowing female into reproducing with him. For shame!

I'm obviously far too dramatic and oversensitive on this issue, but something has to be done. Do I send him an anonymous interoffice letter detailing why the clipping is horrifically disgusting and unsanitary? Do I sneak into his desk drawer after hours and steal the infamous clippers? I would wear gloves, natch. Or do I just grow the eff up and let the man perform his personal grooming habits in the adjacent cubicle?

Pretty sure I'm gonna do some creative combination of the above menu of options. He needs to be stopped.

8 comments:

Paul, Julie, and Charlie Brewer said...

#1 love the title!
#2 You would die if you sat in my office. There is a dude that does the same thing. Makes me want to VOMIT!

KimnSteve said...

I once watched someone do this in CHURCH, DURING the service! I beside myself!

Tina said...

You need to leave File 13 with a deposit on their desk ASAP -

Kiki said...

hahahahaha!!! I love that you found out who it is and are now plotting his demise!

I say steal the clippers.

Lacey said...

Ok, so I used to leave clippers in my teacher desk at school. You know, for a hang-nail or a nail that would tear down into my finger. But I don't clip in front of others - I'd wait until my plan period or go to the bathroom. That's like walking around in your underwear. Does he know that you know he clips? If not, maybe you could finagle a conversation with him and "unwittingly" mention how disgusting public clipping is. LOL

Brooke said...

I was in a class last night, and the lady sitting DIRECTLY next to me whipped out the clippers, clipped a few a nails, then.....brushed the clippings off of her lap with a large sweeping motion! I was waiting for one to land on me, but it did not! Ew. Ew.

Feel your pain.

Kids, Canines, and Chaos said...

Steal the clippers!

Meg said...

I am now grateful for having never seen anyone do this in public. (and I didn't even know that I should be grateful).