Amsterdamnit.

This is the last of it, I promise. And I'm mostly documenting all this for selfish purposes, because someday when a neighbor goes Palin-crazy on me and spies on my family to write my life story, I would like to make it easier on said neighbor. I'll hang a banner in my front yard that says, "Read le blog." And that's all they need to know.

Anyway, my flight pattern on the way home was Munich --> Amsterdam --> Detroit. Upon arrival in Amsterdam, we were dropped in the middle of a parking lot and unloaded from the plane onto a bus. The bus took us to the terminal where I had to use my life survival skills (thank you, Discovery Channel) to get myself to the gate on time and alive.

Little did I know this would require approximately four hundred and eighty seven miles of walking and three (yes, three) security checkpoints. The first was simply passport control to get into the international terminal, at which the kind (read: big, scary and wielding a gun) officer looked at my passport and said something to me in Dutch. I mentioned that I only spoke English and he very loudly said to me, "But your name is Van Voooormah." I told him that was my married name, at which point he looked at me like I was a seven eyed monster and said, "You have a Dutch husband and you don't speak DUTCH?!?" I mean, really.

At security checkpoint two, I received the invasive pat-down and nakie x-ray treatments that are all the rage all over the news. I sort of felt like a schmoke and a pancake when it was all said and done. They do not mess around in Amsterdam, let me tell you...

Before I made my way to the gate (which was security checkpoint 3, stay tuned), I toured the airport. It was decorated for Christmas, which I love, love, loved. I also bought Alex the cutest pair of wooden shoe slippers and ate the most delicious McFlurry of my LIFE. It had a candy called "Lion" in it...kind of a toffee flavor. Mmmmm....

Oh yes. A casino.

Security checkpoint 3 came as a bit of a surprise - it was actually at the gate. I had to meet with a customs officer and scan all my carry on luggage before being escorted to a big, glass room with no way out except to get on the plane. Once you're in, you're in. There was a bathroom and about 200 chairs for all 300+ people on the plane. Annoying.

Anyway, I obviously made it home safe and sound. I loved Germany--its people, its beer and its pretzels, mostly. I can't wait to go back...perhaps in 2012!