Well, not really because they don't fit. Nothing does, really.
Tomorrow is 12 weeks (!!) and I've officially entered that "Today is the worst day of my life because nothing fits and I don't really look pregnant yet but I definitely look fatter so I'll just go eat some more ice cream...but wait I can't eat ice cream because the only thing that doesn't make me want to vomit is air so I'll just go to my room and sleep/cry some more" phase. It's a joyous place to be.
I wholeheartedly am 100% positive that this blog will contain 79.5% more pregnancy-related complaining than it did with Alex. Mostly because I know what's coming next but also because I legitimately look, feel and all-around am worse. Which might be optimistically glass-half-full for you people, because it guarantees some laughs in the next 6-7 months. So there's that.
Per uge, I'm happy to provide your daily entertainment whilst chronicling the events of the human growing we call pregnancy. So, you're welcome. Hump Day Bump day starts tomorrow!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
Happy birthday, baby brother!
Today is my baby brother's *cough* 28th *cough* birthday. That's not even real.
Anyway, in honor of his awesome self, he's our guest blogger today! I hope you enjoy his words below and take them to heart by squeezing your little babes a little tighter tonight and being thankful for all your blessings. Being a teacher is hard, yo.
________________________________
I like to give my sister a hard time when there's a lapse in posting on “le blog,” as it is a little piece of joy I get to share in daily. I have loved having the honor to watch Alex grow a little more with each blog post, picture and smile. All of my family has a special place in my heart. Why? Bcause that is how my Mom and Dad raised us. They raised us to love God and each other and to respect the people in our lives.
Daily, I have the unique opportunity to try to instill some of those values in the lives of 25 4th grade students. It is my hope and prayer that each kid that walks through my doors (and most in the halls) leave me more than just a better student. They need love, to be told that they are worth something, to be put up on a pedestal. Too often, they come to me with so much hurt, pain, and fear. For the short span that I have them, I hope that I can shoulder some of that fear, give a little grace, and show them a love that is deeper than the one they have here on Earth. Not that I can “preach” to them, but as Mom and Dad would say, “actions speak louder than words.”
Recently, we have been writing autobiographies in my class. Here are some of the responses I got:
Instead, I write this as a little reminder to keep the innocence of children. I can also say that most said they love my class. They like me as a teacher--they hated school before me & have learned so much. Again, I don’t say that to beat my own drum. I say that because I am not perfect…I just try daily. And I make mistakes doing it! They need love, respect, and grace. They do not need to be involved with adult problems.
My challenge to you tonight: turn off the TV. No cell phones, iPads, iPods, leapsters, DS, PSP, PS3, or XBOX. Have a dinner with your family--the ones you love in your heart but sometimes hurt. Tell them that you love them, you respect them, you appreciate them. Then after dinner play games and read books. Enjoy your family. Love them and love on them!
Anyway, in honor of his awesome self, he's our guest blogger today! I hope you enjoy his words below and take them to heart by squeezing your little babes a little tighter tonight and being thankful for all your blessings. Being a teacher is hard, yo.
________________________________
I like to give my sister a hard time when there's a lapse in posting on “le blog,” as it is a little piece of joy I get to share in daily. I have loved having the honor to watch Alex grow a little more with each blog post, picture and smile. All of my family has a special place in my heart. Why? Bcause that is how my Mom and Dad raised us. They raised us to love God and each other and to respect the people in our lives.
Daily, I have the unique opportunity to try to instill some of those values in the lives of 25 4th grade students. It is my hope and prayer that each kid that walks through my doors (and most in the halls) leave me more than just a better student. They need love, to be told that they are worth something, to be put up on a pedestal. Too often, they come to me with so much hurt, pain, and fear. For the short span that I have them, I hope that I can shoulder some of that fear, give a little grace, and show them a love that is deeper than the one they have here on Earth. Not that I can “preach” to them, but as Mom and Dad would say, “actions speak louder than words.”
Recently, we have been writing autobiographies in my class. Here are some of the responses I got:
- “Three years ago I got a phone call. I was like, 'Who is this?' And my Grandpapa said, 'Your Dad.' After I hung up the phone I asked my Papa why I never lived with him, and he said it is because he never really wanted me.”
- “When I was 6 my parents got a divorce. It was because my mom asked my dad for $30 and all of the sudden my dad was mad. He smashed the computer and they were arguing. My mom called the police and the police said that they needed to get a divorce. After that we were all really scared and had to live with my aunt.”
- “My mom had to quit college to take care of me, or at least that was what I was told. I think she quit because I was stressing her out and she could not keep up.”
Instead, I write this as a little reminder to keep the innocence of children. I can also say that most said they love my class. They like me as a teacher--they hated school before me & have learned so much. Again, I don’t say that to beat my own drum. I say that because I am not perfect…I just try daily. And I make mistakes doing it! They need love, respect, and grace. They do not need to be involved with adult problems.
My challenge to you tonight: turn off the TV. No cell phones, iPads, iPods, leapsters, DS, PSP, PS3, or XBOX. Have a dinner with your family--the ones you love in your heart but sometimes hurt. Tell them that you love them, you respect them, you appreciate them. Then after dinner play games and read books. Enjoy your family. Love them and love on them!
Friday, April 5, 2013
The combination is obscene.
Oh heyyyyy girl, hey. Remember that one time I told you that story about how we all got the flu and it was the worst four consecutive days in our family's existence? Oh, and remember how then then next day I told you I was also pregnant and feeling like a dumpster fire 24/7?
Oh yeah, put THAT brilliant combination together and make it tango.
What I'm saying is that even when I was feeling better, I wasn't feeling better. The upside to this parade of vomit and nausea is that I haven't gained an ounce in 11 weeks, and baby is doing just fine. The downside is that my current existence and nutrition is totally dependent on buttered toast, Teddy Grahams and water.
But then, in a moment of glory, the other night for dinner I HAD to have a crispy chicken sandwich. Eegads! Food! Sounding delicious! Must. Get. Some. Now. Like, some crispy chicken sandwich magic maker probably should have just delivered it to me in 2.9 seconds with a side of light mayo and fries a-la the freaky fast Jimmy John's commercials. But no, we had to driiiiiiive to Red Robin, where they do make a delicious crispy sandwich and as an added bonus offer bottomless steak fries. Word.
But then, as we pulled into the parking lot and curses if you wouldn't imagine it, CRISPY CHICKEN SANDWICHES ARE NOW MADE BY THE DEVIL. I shall never eat again! More toast! Begone, chickens of the world!
This is my life. In rare, glorious moments, some foods sound amazing and I must have them immediately. But in the time lapse it takes to actually get said food that is not a Teddy Graham to my mouth, something goes horribly wrong and my body denies its very existence and tells my brain that it's made of poison and will likely a) kill me; 2) give me a real show of the gags; and/or c) ruin my life. Or quite possibly a combination of all three.
Because, no. Just no. I like food too much for all this to even be real. 2nd trimester feelings of Super Mom, pleasepleaseplease come soon!
Oh yeah, put THAT brilliant combination together and make it tango.
What I'm saying is that even when I was feeling better, I wasn't feeling better. The upside to this parade of vomit and nausea is that I haven't gained an ounce in 11 weeks, and baby is doing just fine. The downside is that my current existence and nutrition is totally dependent on buttered toast, Teddy Grahams and water.
But then, in a moment of glory, the other night for dinner I HAD to have a crispy chicken sandwich. Eegads! Food! Sounding delicious! Must. Get. Some. Now. Like, some crispy chicken sandwich magic maker probably should have just delivered it to me in 2.9 seconds with a side of light mayo and fries a-la the freaky fast Jimmy John's commercials. But no, we had to driiiiiiive to Red Robin, where they do make a delicious crispy sandwich and as an added bonus offer bottomless steak fries. Word.
But then, as we pulled into the parking lot and curses if you wouldn't imagine it, CRISPY CHICKEN SANDWICHES ARE NOW MADE BY THE DEVIL. I shall never eat again! More toast! Begone, chickens of the world!
This is my life. In rare, glorious moments, some foods sound amazing and I must have them immediately. But in the time lapse it takes to actually get said food that is not a Teddy Graham to my mouth, something goes horribly wrong and my body denies its very existence and tells my brain that it's made of poison and will likely a) kill me; 2) give me a real show of the gags; and/or c) ruin my life. Or quite possibly a combination of all three.
Because, no. Just no. I like food too much for all this to even be real. 2nd trimester feelings of Super Mom, pleasepleaseplease come soon!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Big brother.
After yesterday's announcement, we got a lot of love via the social medias. (Thanks, btw!) What most people asked after the OMG! OMG! Congratulations! was how Alex is taking the news, which I LOVE because that means you people all love him as much as we do and can pretty much assume that his reaction will be Oscar-worthy.
The funny thing is, we haven't actually told him yet. Sure, we've talked about being a big brother and babies and he asks all sorts of questions about family and what that means, but we haven't really said the words, "Mommy is having a baby!"
You see, he's wicked smart. He's like a 17 year old pursuing a Ph.D. in that little mind. So when we DO tell him, he will get it. He will totally understand and want a baby, like, ASAP. He's already told us that he would like to be a big brother to "teach the baby to sing and color," and that he will "help feed the baby tiny bottles and change diapers...even if they are poopy, Mom."
So, heaven forbid we travel down that same road we've been down before and we have to UNtell him. How do you do that? I don't know that I could.
So we're going to wait awhile--maybe until I'm showing a little more--to really explain it to him. But in the meantime, thank you for all the heartfelt congratulations and wishes of health and happiness. I sure do love the internets.
The funny thing is, we haven't actually told him yet. Sure, we've talked about being a big brother and babies and he asks all sorts of questions about family and what that means, but we haven't really said the words, "Mommy is having a baby!"
You see, he's wicked smart. He's like a 17 year old pursuing a Ph.D. in that little mind. So when we DO tell him, he will get it. He will totally understand and want a baby, like, ASAP. He's already told us that he would like to be a big brother to "teach the baby to sing and color," and that he will "help feed the baby tiny bottles and change diapers...even if they are poopy, Mom."
So, heaven forbid we travel down that same road we've been down before and we have to UNtell him. How do you do that? I don't know that I could.
So we're going to wait awhile--maybe until I'm showing a little more--to really explain it to him. But in the meantime, thank you for all the heartfelt congratulations and wishes of health and happiness. I sure do love the internets.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
2013 is going to be amazeballs.
Two legitimately amazing things are going to happen in 2013. First, the Anchorman sequel comes out. I have been waiting for this movie honestly since the opening credits of the original Anchorman movie. And if we’re all being honest with ourselves, I’m probably gonna take the day off and see the midnight showing. Maybe in costume. We’ll see how that all shakes out. Then, I will see it again but with pen and paper to take notes of all the one liners that I will quote for the rest of my life. And it will be glorious.
And that other thing? No biggs:
I suppose the photo needs no caption, but in case it does, we’re expecting an addition to our family in October!
This whole process has been quite a ride, and I waited as long as I could to let the cat out of the bag for obvious reasons. Today marked a big milestone we haven’t hit in awhile—the second prenatal appointment. We heard baby’s strong, healthy heartbeat for the second time and it was awesome.
We saw baby for the first time on March 7, which was both heart wrenching and ironic because that was the day our sweet BDub was due. With a lump in my throat, very sweaty palms and Joey by my side, I walked into that same room with the same ultrasound machine and the same tech who has given us a roller coaster of good and bad news over the last year and a half. But then, when she clicked on the monitor and we heard that unmistakable ‘thumpthumpthumpthump,’ I just knew this baby was meant to be mine.
That’s not to say I don’t have my scared days, because I most certainly do. There was a day about a month ago when my chapstick (red) exploded all over my face and I used a tissue to wipe it off and then tossed it in the toilet. Then I peed. Then I looked before I flushed and nearly had a heart attack until I realized what I’d done.
My body is exhausted and I feel like a dumpster fire, but everyone tells me “that’s a good thing,” as if that somehow makes the 24/7 nausea and general feelings of poop sandwichery better. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that my body has spent its fair share of the last 18 months pregnant with nothing to show for it…so this time it’s working overtime. And I’m cool with that.
I freak out at the littlest signs of a cramp or a sneeze gone horribly wrong. And I think that’s totally normal. Honestly, any woman who has experienced loss at any stage during pregnancy has her own trepidations or fears—no matter how seemingly irrational. And I’m an irrational person to begin with, so the combination is really just asking for it.
But enough about that—this post is about joy and life and celebrating a very cool thing: Anchorman 2 is coming out! Oh, and we’re gonna have a baby!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Down on the farm.
On Saturday, when we had all recovered from NinjaDeathStarFlu2013, we headed out to Northfork Outback for a fun Easter farm day to celebrate our little friend Jack's 2nd birthday.
What a FUN day at a VERY cool place! The whole day was organized into activities that were age appropriate--including a craft, puppet show, pony rides, train ride, egg hunt and petting zoo. If you live near the area, I highly recommend a visit. It's a small family-owned farm, so no crowds and no corporate shenanigans.
What a FUN day at a VERY cool place! The whole day was organized into activities that were age appropriate--including a craft, puppet show, pony rides, train ride, egg hunt and petting zoo. If you live near the area, I highly recommend a visit. It's a small family-owned farm, so no crowds and no corporate shenanigans.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Quesadillas BE GONE.
Oh mercy, mercy, mercy. Where to even begin this post? I suppose we should start with about 1:30 p.m. on Tuesday, when Jane texted me to tell me Alex had thrown up. Ugh.
By the time I got there, he'd thrown up 2 more times. Then twice on the way home. Joe got home from work around 6 p.m. and I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you that I honest to cheese lost count at 20--the number of times he'd thrown up SINCE WE GOT HOME.
We called the pediatrician, and to no one's surprise they sent us right off to the ER at the risk of severe dehydration. Fast forward 5 hours and with a little help from some Zofran, popsicles and pedialite, we were on our way home. The next day, his other end started acting up so he stayed in Pull-Ups for a few days because his "toots had some poops."
And then, in the middle of the night on Wednesday, guess what came knocking on MY door? Yeap. Listen, I won't go into the gory, graphic details in the here and now, but suffice it to say I spent many, many hours seated ON the toilet while simultaneously hurling my brains out into a trash can, sweating profusely and shaking like a patient in detox. Never in all my life have I been that sick. It. Was. Terrible.
And then, as only the VW's luck would have it, Joey was next! He didn't get it quite as badly as me, but I did hear him wish death upon himself a few times from outside the bathroom door.
So what's with the subject of this post, you ask? Well, we watch our fair share of Doc McStuffins and if you aren't aware of this little cartoon gem, she's a "doctor" to her stuffed animals and makes their ouchies go away with her magical toddler doctoring. Every diagnosis is a "Case of the _____," so when Alex morphed from vomit to diarrhea, he self-diagnosed himself with the Quesadillas.
At least we had something to laugh about over the course of the last few days, right?
I'm happy to say we're all on the mend and looking forward to sunny, spring days ahead!
By the time I got there, he'd thrown up 2 more times. Then twice on the way home. Joe got home from work around 6 p.m. and I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you that I honest to cheese lost count at 20--the number of times he'd thrown up SINCE WE GOT HOME.
We called the pediatrician, and to no one's surprise they sent us right off to the ER at the risk of severe dehydration. Fast forward 5 hours and with a little help from some Zofran, popsicles and pedialite, we were on our way home. The next day, his other end started acting up so he stayed in Pull-Ups for a few days because his "toots had some poops."
See also: why is he so big?!
And then, in the middle of the night on Wednesday, guess what came knocking on MY door? Yeap. Listen, I won't go into the gory, graphic details in the here and now, but suffice it to say I spent many, many hours seated ON the toilet while simultaneously hurling my brains out into a trash can, sweating profusely and shaking like a patient in detox. Never in all my life have I been that sick. It. Was. Terrible.
And then, as only the VW's luck would have it, Joey was next! He didn't get it quite as badly as me, but I did hear him wish death upon himself a few times from outside the bathroom door.
So what's with the subject of this post, you ask? Well, we watch our fair share of Doc McStuffins and if you aren't aware of this little cartoon gem, she's a "doctor" to her stuffed animals and makes their ouchies go away with her magical toddler doctoring. Every diagnosis is a "Case of the _____," so when Alex morphed from vomit to diarrhea, he self-diagnosed himself with the Quesadillas.
At least we had something to laugh about over the course of the last few days, right?
I'm happy to say we're all on the mend and looking forward to sunny, spring days ahead!
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