Thursday, June 13, 2013

Three becoming four.

All I've ever known as a "family" is three. Just the three of us: Mommy, Daddy and Alex.

Our world is centered around this awesome, tiny human who has thoughts and ideas and let's be honest is his own little opinionated 40 year old. But soon, almost too soon, that world is going to change in a big way.

And it's not that we're not excited about it or embracing the change and everything that will come with having this new thing in our lives. This new pink thing that will be her own, tiny human with her own thoughts and ideas and if she's anything like her Momma she's going to have some real opinions at age 3.

Because we are. We're real excited. All of us. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to miss these last magical four years of it being just our threesome.

Every night when I turn all super mega creepy Momma as I check on him and stare at him and kiss him and re-tuck him in before I go to bed, I take a little tiny moment to myself and just freeze the moments of the day in my mind, knowing that soon there's going to be this new thing in our lives that will get the other half of my attention, the other half of my energy, and the other half of my tucking in time.

My Mom tells me that she was scared, too, before she had me...and then again when she had Kyle. That you have this overwhelming feeling of "where is the extra love going to come from?" or "where will the extra time come from?" But she also reassures me that it does. It just does. And that kinda like magic, when bV arrives it will be just like she's always been here, part of our magical little foursome.

My squishy faced & sleepy little lover boy. Sigh.


Lindsey Wolfe said...

Girly - let me tell you. The night before my c-section for Abby, Nathan found me sitting on the floor in the middle of his room, staring at him and bawling my eyes out. HA! I was very much, "How can we do this to him?!" and "His world will be turned upsidedown!" and "What if he hates her and us?!?" May have been the hormones talking a bit, but I was a hot mess! Little Mini Kristi will fit in just as you said - it will be awesome!

WindyCityLindsay said...

I loved your post. LOVED it. I can totally relate to everything you said. I'm completely freaked out, too. I'm excited but, honestly, I'm more scared and worried than anything.

I love what you said about how your mom is reassuring you. I hope it's true! It's good to know we're not alone - that all mommas seem to feel this way.

It would be a lot easier if these boys weren't so friggin' amazing... :)