A variety show, of sorts.

Starring: my Middle Finger. I've been using it a lot lately, in many forms.

Curtain.

The Verbal Middle Finger
Implied by the tone of my voice. Used in various supermarket encounters with rude individuals and also on the phone recently with my health care provider.

The Facial Expression Middle Finger
This is a special form of the MF, exacerbated by my dark features and laser beam-capable eyes. This one is reserved for those people that still write checks in the supermarket line and Michiganians that always seem to forget how to drive come the first snowfall.

The Literal Middle Finger
Used during the January 12 episode of Grey's Anatomy. Extensively.

The Body Language Middle Finger
Also referred to as the cold shoulder, though the BLMF is a much more rare creature. This one is typically reserved for meetings during which I am annoyed and also when service providers (see also: stylist, manicurist, physicians) are running obscenely late for my scheduled appointment time.

The Incognito Middle Finger
This one marks some of my best work. I have honed these skills over many, many years. You wouldn't even know when I'm doing it because I'm overtly sweet, as if to cover up the fact that I want to tear your face off. See also: situations in which I cannot win.

End scene.

I think I have a lot of issues to work out.

My brother wanted to be a weatherman when he was little. I wanted to be a "hair doer."

This is truth. But not just ANY weatherman, he specifically wanted to be Mark Torregrossa from the local NBC affiliate in our hometown. (For the record, time has not been kind to that man. Lay off the teeth whitening, mmmkay? It certainly doesn't detract from your receding hairline.)

Anyway, imagine my delight when Kyle sent this little screengrab over this morning:

In summary: it looks like Kyle found a career that suited him WAY more than weather--teaching. Perhaps he can take our local weathermen to "days of the week" school?

In other news, this rain can suck it. And I'll save the "hair doer" story for (another) rainy day.

Dear ridiculous heat wave and excessive humidity.

Please kindly piss off.

Love,
Kristi