On being 30, but more specifically why my skin can suck it.

If you recall, I had no fears about turning 30. There was no drama, no "woe is me," and in fact, I rather embraced it. I believe my mantra was, "30, I'm gonna rock the shit outta you."

And so I have. Thus far, 30 has been quite a ride and honestly no different from my 20s, save for oh, you know, having a toddler, a mortgage and being asleep in my very own bed at midnight. It's glorious, really.

The part that's not so glorious? My skin is having a mental breakdown. I know what you're thinking, and it has nothing to do with being pregnant, I promise.

Anyway, this 30 year old version of my largest organ (did you know that?) is very uncool. It's like my pores went though the opposite of the Honey I Shrunk The Kids machine and took over my T-Zone like ants on a Dum Dum sucker. Probably the gross ??Mystery?? flavor kind, too, just to make the analogy worse.

Anyway, everyone and their pet monkeys have been raving about those $90 million dollar facial dermabrasion scrubber treatment machines, so off I went to the world's greatest store, Target, to discover my solution.

Legit most of them are like $50+, and I'm not down with that. So when I saw the Neutrogena Wave for a mere $15 I was sold. Refill scrubber pads are about $6 a month if you use it once a day. My kinda price.

image target.com

I've been using le Wave religiously for 2 weeks now. If I'm super honest with you it's been sitting in my cabinet for about 5 months because I'm the perfect combination of lazy and unwilling to admit I have a problem. But nevertheless, I honestly can tell a difference in both the texture of my skin and the size of my pores after consistent use. So far, so good.

Neither Neutrogena or Target know I actually exist (except maybe my photo is up somewhere at Target HQ for being the world's greatest RedCard user?), so this is honest-to-Pete my own review. Sealed with a Kristi!

Look ma, I'm human!

On Sunday for Alex's party, I thought it best to not wear my uniform of late (see also: sweats, tshirts, hoodies) and put on some decent clothings and do something with my hair other than a ponytail.

Lo and behold, it's me 'n 'da bump:



Hair: courtesy of my new clampless curling iron. Tricky to use, but once you master it, it's great!

Sweater: Target

Shirt: Kohls, maternity

Bracelet: my grandmother's

Necklace: Purchased in NOLA with my bff, Cait

It's amazing what a little lipgloss and grown up clothes can do for the mood. Despite still feeling like garbage, I also felt a little human.

Daily Deal.

As part of my recent Twitter explosion, I've become a fan of Target's Daily Deal Tweets.

At 10 am every day, my phone chirps with the deal o' the day, which is always medium-ly exciting. Some days, it's a cool product at a great price and other days, it's something annoying like little girls' boots that I can't own. Oh, and the best part? It's always, always free shipping.

Today? IT'S THE NOSEFRIDA. 27% off (a friggin' STEAL at $11) and freeeeeeeee shipping!

I don't know how else I can break this down for you. (Find discussions here.) If you have a kid, if you want a kid, if someone you know has a kid, BUY IT. I promise you'll craft me a sincere letter of thanks the first time said kid's nose starts a stuffin'.

Go Green!

Let's start this Earth Week by being totally open and honest with one another, mmkay? I'm gonna keep this totally real. I'm not a tree hugger. I *gasp* use disposable diapers. I print far too many e-mails at work. I drive an SUV. I don't grow my own garden. Wait, does a Chia Pet count?

Hi-ev-uh, there are things we do in the VeeDub household to make Momma Earth happy. We do not drink bottled water. In fact, we use these. We drive one car to work, which reduces emissions and saves us moolah. We recycle. We occasionally save water on dual showers. Sorry for the mental picture, Dad. We use the squiggly lightbulbs. We use hand-me-downs and buy used when it makes sense. We rock recycled shopping bags and use travel java mugs.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that not everyone can be Ed Begley, Jr. But there are little things you can do each and every day to green up this planet and make it better for future generations. *cough*Alex*cough* And, there's often something to sweeten the deal for your wallet, too.

Exhibit A: Target is currently embracing the green movement by offering a "reward" of sorts for recycling your plastic shopping bags. Did you see this insert in your Sunday paper's Target ad? Brills! Just mail in 5 Target bags (no postage required) and they will email you a coupon for $1 off a reusable shopping tote. LOVE it!

Oh, and every time you take your own bag to Target, you get 5¢ off your total purchase. It might seem small, but every penny counts, right?

Happy Birthday To...You?

Much like Dane Cook's "You get a humpback whale! You get a humpback whale! Everybody gets a humpback whale!" Oprah joke, I'm spreading the love for Alex's birthday celebration. Since it's too expensive to mail humpback whales and too gross to mail cake, gift cards will simply have to do. And you know you love that more, anyway. The poll was very close between le Target and Starbuckies, so we'll call it a tie and have two winners. You're welcome.

So here's how you can win 10 big ones to Starbucks OR Target...1 winner for each.

Publicly follow ABM3 +
leave le comment with birthday wishes to Alex =
1 entry

That's it! Super cinchy! If you want to blog about this giveaway and link back to it, I'll throw in 2 extra entries. She works haaaaaaard for it, honey.

...and the only person that is ineligible for this giveaway Joey, since I buy him he buys me Starbuckies every day, anyway.

Giveaway closes @ midnight on April 21. US and Canada eh? residents only.

Leaving On A Jet Plane.

In almost exactly 24 hours I will be boarding a plane to Connecticut to see Kelli and David. ::squeals of delight::

I haven't packed. I haven't cleaned my house. I haven't done laundry. I haven't tied up the million loose ends at work. I haven't even started THINKING about what to pack. And I am a very list-y person, mind you. My life is a series of endless sticky notes and barely legible used napkins.

Infant + plane + husband who is terrified of bringing infant on plane = #$*(#$*@.

Here's my current plan: pack as little as possible and make a run to Target when we arrive to buy baby food, diapers, formula, etc. Give Alex a healthy dose of Benadryl 20 minutes before boarding. Get Joey very liquored up at the airport bar 30 minutes before boarding.

Foolproof plan, no?

Hi, I'm Kristi. How May I Help You Today?

Yesterday I had it o-u-t with the kind people at Target who were questioning the validity of a $7 Pampers coupon I was using.

You can already see where this is going, no?

We all know I basically live and die for coupons, and because of the incredible value of this particular one, I was not going down without a fight. I'll spare you the details of my nearly ten minute argument friendly conversation with the store manager, but at the end of the trip that $7 was fo-sheezy taken off my total. I am always right when it comes to couponing - take note, other store managers of the world that might be reading.

As if that wasn't enough, I later had a less than pleasant encounter with a nimrod of a sales associate at DSW. They didn't have the size I needed, so I asked the nearest semi-competent looking twelve year old with a nametag and walkie talkie if she could check to see if another local store had it in inventory.

She looked at me like I had asked her to recite the Gettysburg Address from memory. After twirling her hair around her pinkie finger and faking like she was actually soaking in my request, she giggled the most convincing little valley girl laugh and said, "Umm...I could, like, get you the number to another store and you can, like, call them?"

I'm sorry, what? I deadpan stared at her for 5 seconds and I'm pretty sure my nonverbals were read just fine by her peabrain. I swallowed everything I actually wanted to say and instead handed her the shoes in my hand and said as cheerfully as I could muster, "Oh, well that seems incredibly helpful. Thanks for your help, sugar." And left.

Really, I'm the loser in this situation. Little Miss Twit doesn't work on commission, and I still have to go to another DSW on my lunch hour today to seek out my shoes. I guess it was a moral victory for me...if nothing else.

Soooooooo, in honor of a weekend of shiteous customer service, I give you this:

Click here for a free sample of Pampers Cruisers with Dry Max. (You have to be a P&G Everyday Solutions member...if you're not, just sign up - it's free! And you'll have access to other great coupons, too.)

You're welcome.

Blah.

I have a superduper monster of a headache. Probably due to the lack of caffeine pumping through my system, but I'm trying the whole water thing today. Ugh.

On the bright side, tomorrow is a BIG day - it's Joey's birthday AND Alex and the WIPpo day! How will I survive the madness?!

Speaking of madness, Target now posts its coupons online. Click here for the current coupons, or just click the "Coupons" tab from the homepage. There's even a cool calculator on the main page that will tally your savings as you check the coupons you want to print. This week there is $116.94 available in savings.You're welcome.

Hit Or Miss.

There are many stores with which I have a love/hate relationship. To name a few: Limited, Express, Macy's, H&M, Old Navy & Gap. When you hit them just right, you can find a sea of absolutely fabulous things. But when the selection or season is wrong, it is oh-so veryvery wrong.

Right now Old Navy is a total hit for me. I bought this hoodie recently and simply adore it. It has that "I'm totally thrown together but still trendy" look about it.




And I'm pretty sure I'm headed out this weekend at lunchtime to get this coat:



In related news, in a half-assed attempt to be current, I recently purchased this:



I know, I know. It's really cute. And to be totally vain, it looks great on me most likely because of the contrast with my dark hair. I've put it in three times to wear to work but have never actually made it out the door with it on. I just feel ridiculous with this giant sparkle on my head. Maybe I'll rock it this weekend when snoopy office mates and bosses aren't around to judge me.

See you Monday!