Hump Day, Bump Day: THE GRAND FINALE.

bV is the size of a watermelon!
Baby keeps growing, despite being so crowded in there. She probably weighs around 6.2 to 9.2 pounds and measures about 18.9 to 20.9 inches.

bV at 39 weeks:
- She's probably able to flex her limbs now.
- Her brain is still rapidly developing -- she's getting smarter by the week!
- Her nails may extend past her fingertips.
via thebump.com

Bonus photo this week--me, giving her my "wtf" Mom face. Like, SERIOUSLY kid. You should be out by now. We've asked very nicely for the last week. I officially stop asking nicely on Friday, at which point you will be formally evicted.

We can't wait to meet you!!!

Hump Day, Bump Day.

bV is the size of a pumpkin! 
Baby is about 18.9 to 20.9 inches long and weighs about 6.2 to 9.2 pounds. Her head is now about the same circumference as her abdomen.

bV at 38 weeks:
- She may have about an inch or so of hair already.
- She's slowly shedding that white goo on her skin (called vernix caseosa) but you might see some of it at birth.
viathebump.com

Worst case scenario this is the second to last bump update you will ever have to read from me. Best case scenario, it's the last. Other than that, I have no new information for you. I'm still very large. I'm still very sore. I'm still very tired. I'm still very anxious. I'm just eating more cookies to deal with it all. Since I can't have tequila.

In case anyone wants to have pity on me, she kept me up ALL night last night with contractions. Which, for the record, I find to be TERRIBLY unfair. It seems that women who have scheduled C-Sections should not have to bear this sort of torture. And also for the record? Turns out Doctors don't think it's funny when you try to bribe them with Starbucks gift cards to move your C-Section date up a week. Or more. Whatever.

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of a winter melon! 
Yay! Baby has reached full term. She likely measures around 18.9 to 20.9 inches and weighs about 6.2 to 9.2 pounds. She's gaining about 1/2 ounce each day.

bV at 37 weeks: 
- She's practicing some skills: inhaling, exhaling, sucking, gripping and blinking.
- She's getting her first sticky poop (called meconium) ready for her first diaper.
via thebump.com

Fun Fact: I don't know what meconium looks and/or smells like, because I never actually changed a diaper in the hospital with Alex. Super Dad Joey was all over that. Also, I just realized that fact was not, in fact, "fun". It was actually rather gross.

Anyway, it's just a lot of hurry-up-and-wait around here. Alex wants his sister to be here every day, and the doctors actually seem shocked to still be seeing me in the office week after week. All the loose ends at work are more or less tied up, my bags are packed and her room is ready...so, we're ready when you are, little girl. Also? Please don't be 9.2 lbs. Love, Mom

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of a honeydew! 
She's still in the 17.2- to 18.7-inch and 4.2- to 5.8-pound range and continues to beef up.

bV at 36 weeks:
- She's getting closer and closer to being able to breathe on her own.
- Her skin is getting smooth and soft and her gums are rigid.
- Her liver and kidneys are in working order.
- Circulation and immune systems are basically good to go, too.
via thebump.com

Remember back when it seemed like Jessica Simpson was pregnant for 14,563.92 years? Yeah. I get it. So today you get her terribly unflattering picture instead of mine. Partially because I forgot to take mine, and mostly because I'm too lazy to do it now. Enjoy & you're welcome.

Also, today I made a hair appointment for October 8, knowing full well that I will be there. But secretly, I'm hoping not to be. I know with a scheduled C-Section that I'll just want everything to go delightfully & uneventfully according to plan, but I'm sooooooooo very, very over this whole thing that a part of me also hopes maybe she'll come early.

And in "I'm not totally sucking at this parenting thing" news, last night we asked Alex what the "best part" of Harper would be, and he told us her "smart brain." Turns out he's listening, after all.

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of a coconut! 
She's about 17.2 to 18.7 inches. From here on out, she won't get much longer, but she's plumping up. She's now about 4.2 to 5.8 pounds, and she'll put on a pound or more of baby fat before birth.

bV at 35 weeks 
- Now, her hearing is fully developed, and she responds best to high-pitched noises.
- If it's a boy, his testes have probably fully descended.
via thebump.com

I find it odd that last week she was compared to a butternut squash and this week it's a coconut. I mean, isn't that a little backward in terms of both size and weight? Ahhh, well. Regardless she's growing and getting fruitier by the day.

I'm down to just 16 days of work left, which only gives me moderate panic attacks every 6-7 minutes. As much as I'm over being pregnant, I genuinely hope that Harper waits until her scheduled date to arrive. I had a week off planned before Alex (like I have with Harper) and Alex decided to come on that first day off - Monday. Even if Harper decides to give me just a few days to relax and enjoy my last days as a Momma of 1, I would be ever so appreciative.

Physically, I'm over it. I waddle better than Donald Duck himself and my pelvic area feels like a war zone with every step I take. So, you know, overall enjoyment. "Pregnancy is a real dream!" ...said no one, ever.

See also: ONE MONTH EXACTLY until little girl makes her arrival.

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV's the size of a butternut squash! 
At less than two months to go, she weighs in at about 4.2 pounds to 5.8 pounds and measures about 17.2 to 18.7 inches.

bV at 34 weeks 
- She's recognizing and reacting to simple songs, if you're singing them. (If you're not, start! She may find them soothing after birth.)
- She's also urinating about a pint a day.
via thebump.com

I'm very, very, very, very ready for this child to be born. Five weeks seems like a suspiciously unreasonable amount of time left to wait, but I will try to practice patience and all that crap about it being a virtue. And the "At less than TWO months to go..." text from the bump is a little misleading. It's WAY less than two months. Way.

I have 21 days of work left (not that I'm counting), so it's kind of getting stressy and down to the wire to make sure everything is in place for my leave. I'm actually kind of excited that this time overlaps with the holidays--even though Harper will probably have us on her own little version of a schedule, it will be nice to be home and semi-relaxed over the winter. I see lots of fireside snuggles in my future.

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV's the size of a durian!
She weighs about 4.2 to 5.8 pounds and measures about 17.2 to 18.7 inches. And she may grow up to a full inch this week -- amazing.

bV at 33 weeks 
- She's keeping her eyes open while awake.
- She's also starting to coordinate breathing with sucking and swallowing.
- Her bones are hardening.
- And she going through (more) major brain development -- that's one smart baby!
via thebump.com

A durian? I feel like that's a Star Nerd character, no? Anyway, I googled it and allegedly it's a real spiny and smelly fruit native to southeast Asia. So, you know, a perfect comparison to my baby.

We had another appointment this week and all is well in Harper Land. She's head down (not that it particularly matters in my case) and is very much an evening baby. Yesterday she was practicing her roundhouse kicks for me and putting on quite the show for her Daddy...and all he could do was laugh at me and my earthquake of a belly.

As far as preparedness, we're physically ready for her. She has food, (TONS of) clothing and (a SUPER cute) shelter. Mentally, I'm not so sure I'm there yet. I did a few loads of very pink laundry over the weekend and had like 12 panic attacks as I was folding it all. PINK. It's very weird and alien-like to me.

After my next appointment we start going weekly. YIPES! And then, it's only just a matter of time before she joins our family officially!

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of a squash! 
Still growing, your baby weighs in at about 2.5 to 3.8 pounds and measures about 15.2 to 16.7 inches.

bV at 32 weeks:
- She's getting ready for her descent -- she's likely in the head-down position now. Confirmed.
- And she's probably feeling a even more cramped.
via thebump.com

In other news, we made some significant progress on Harper's room over the last few weeks, and I'm SO excited to share it in all it's pink and girly glory. Here's a sneak peek:

H - Michael's; I painted it; Clearance!

H flower - Hobby Lobby; 40% off coupon!

Canvas quote - Homegoods

Bedding - Homegoods

Tulle pillow - Meijer

Harper pillow - esty

Polka dot pillow - Homegoods; Clearance!

Alex was so excited when he saw her crib for the first time, exclaiming, "Mom! It's a bed for Harper! Now she has a place for her naps!" (I mean, as soon as we get a mattress in it.)

Can you see the mater sticker on the head rail? Harper is using Alex's old crib, so when we put it together his beloved Cars stickers were still there...and Joe was feeling sentimental so we just left them on. The second phrase out of Alex's mouth was, "But MOM! Those are BOY stickers and Harper is a GIRL." And he quickly demanded we take them off as to not offend Harper's feminism and he's placed them in their new & rightful spot on the wall in his bedroom. 

Sibling rivalry. And so it begins.

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of a pineapple!
She's about 15.2 to 16.7 inches long and weighs about 2.5 to 3.8 pounds this month. She's getting so big, she's probably crowding your lungs. Understatement of the world.

bV at 31 weeks:
- She's going through major brain and nerve development.
- Eye development, too. Her irises now react to light! All five of her senses are in working order.
via thebump.com

In a super dee duper fun turn of events, Harper was absolutely blessed with a surprise sprinkle (a smaller, more intimate baby "shower" after your first baby...sprinkle/shower....get it?!?) on Saturday. Mom, Jill, Kelli, the boys and I came home from a yummy lunch at Qdoba to find my driveway full of my closest friends and family. My bestie, Caitlin, FLEW here all the way from DC and we were able to Facetime with Lindsay who's on preggo house arrest with twins! And yes, I cried.

The girls absolutely nailed the theme, as you can see here by the invitations:

I was overwhelmed at the amount of planning and thought put into every last detail (they took a giant margarita machine INTO 7-11 and filled it with REAL Slurpee!), and I am so thankful to everyone who came and especially to Mom, Kelli, Jill and Keliann for thinking of me and Harper and pulling off such a GREAT surprise. To say this little girl is spoiled is the understatement of a LIFETIME.

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of a cucumber! 
Your 15.2- to 16.7-inch, 2.5- to 3.8-pound baby continues to grow.

bV at 30 weeks
- Her skin is getting smoother.
- But her brain is getting wrinklier -- to make way for all that essential brain tissue.
- She's now strong enough to grasp a finger!
via thebump.com

**No bump picture today, because I honest to cheese forgot, and now I'm too lazy to take one.
So instead, here's a picture of a donut.**

EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME NOW: THIRTY WEEKS!! *clapclapclapclapclap* And while the pessimist in me pounds her head repeatedly against a brick wall because the converse is to see NINE more weeks left of being pregnant, I'll pause for a moment that I've survived 30.

Aaaaand, moment over.

I've officially started to put together my maternity leave plan for work and submitted all the pre-paperwork to the hospital. This is all getting very real...very fast. I think I've maybe just been in denial for 29 weeks? Regardless, sassy little Miss Harper will be here in 65 days. EEP!

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV is the size of an acorn squash!
Baby already measures about 15.2 to 16.7 inches long. Right now, she weighs about 2.5 to 3.8 pounds but she's still got a ways to go -- can you believe she'll triple in weight before birth? And I probably will too, for what it's worth.

bV at 29 weeks 
- She's getting a little cramped in there, since she's growing so fast. But you probably already realize that, since you're getting all those jabs and kicks. Amen, amen.
- She's growing white fat deposits under her skin, and her energy is surging because of it.
- Feel a subtle twitch? It might be baby hiccupping.
via thebump.com

Baby girl is ridin' high, and mercy me do I feel it. All last week I was in excruciating pain at the bottom of my ribcage because she was sitting/punching/eating/roundhouse kicking the nerves running along my floating ribs. Oh yes, and last week was also when we were on vacation. It was very magical. Anyway, she seems to have finally let go of whatever her beef was with my nervous system and all is currently well with what once felt like pure acid being poured upon my flesh.

In stark contrast, here's what I looked like at 29 weeks with Alex. See also: Harper's gotta be coming early. Right? RIGHT?!?

Hump day, Bump day!

bV is the size of an eggplant! 
Putting on layers of fat, your baby now weighs in around 1.5 to 2.5 pounds and measures about 13.6 to 14.8 inches.

bV at 28 weekss
- She's starting to develop more fat, so her wrinkly skin will start to get smoother.
- Her lungs are mature enough that she'd probably survive if she was born now.
via thebump.com

And in addition to the lazy post-vacation backdated blog entry,  you get a vacation bump pic as proof that we did see the sun ONE time on vacation. More on that later.

Hump day, bump day!

bV's the size of a rutabaga! 
At 13.6 to 14.8 inches and 1.5 to 2.5 pounds, she's not just getting bigger, she's getting smarter.

bV at 27 weeks
- She's practicing inhaling and exhaling with her rapidly developing lungs.
- It's official: Baby's showing brain activity! And her brain will keep on getting more complex.
via thebump.com

I feel like thebump could have used a more pedestrian fruit or veggie to compare bV to this week, but whatevs. Honestly if we're being topical amongst friends, I probably should compare her to Slurpee or Frosty sizes. I'm suspecting she's at the medium to value size at the moment?

This week you get a straight up ghetto fab hotel bathroom pic because I left the house too early this morning to snap the usual bedroom pic. Offsite work meetings and such. However, Friday starts a week of lakeside vacation for this girl, so I'm very, very much looking forward to that!

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV's the size of a head of lettuce! 
She's still growing in the 13.6- to 14.8-inch and 1.5- to 2.5-pound range, and developing her senses, features and talents!

bV at 26 weeks:
- Her eyes are forming, and her eyes will soon start to open. And her eyelashes are now grown, too.
- She's getting her immune system ready for life on the outside by soaking up your antibodies.
- She's taking breaths, too. They're of amniotic fluid, not air, but it's still good practice.
via thebump.com

Speaking of talents, I think Little Miss Harper has a future in gymnastics because MERCY this child likes to move around. I remember Alex's movements being so soft and "swimmy" - which I think really reflects on his real-life personality of being so gentle, thoughtful and deliberate. Harper? Let's just say I predict she's going to be a handful if her ninja kicks and 360° flips have anything to say about it.

And for your viewing pleasure today:

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV's the size of a cauliflower! 
During month six, the average fetus measures about 13.6 inches to 14.8 inches and weighs about 1.5 to 2.5 pounds.

bV at 25 weeks:
- She's enjoying her new sense of equilibrium -- she now knows which way is up and which is down.
- She's growing more fat and more hair too!
via thebump.com

In other news, you'll be happy to know that my normal and sweet Alex returned in all his glory last night. We built Lego cars (he put a star on it "special for Mom") and we got Dairy Queen and all around enjoyed each other's company. What is it all those non-hormonal and normal people say? This too shall pass? Yeah, that.

And in other somewhat related news, you guys are good guessers! Some got it from my pin hints on Pinterest, and some got it right here. bV's name is Harper Lee. Unintentionally the same as the author of "To Kill A Mockingbird." 'Harper' is because we just love it. 'Lee' is because it's my middle name and also my grandfather's middle name. Harper won't get to know her "GG" in this life, but he'll always be a part of her!

And in very related news, here's a ridiculous conversation I had with my dear husband last night:

Joey: "What are you now, like 28 weeks?"
Me: "25 actually, but thanks for paying attention, douchebag."
Joey: "Any chance you can hurry that girl up?"

And then I kicked him in the nads.

Hump Day, Bump Day!

bV's the size of a cantaloupe! 
Your 10.5-to-11.8-inch fetus weighs about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces and every week she gets closer and closer to being ready to survive (and thrive!) in the outside world.

bV at 24 weeks 
- Her see-through skin is gradually becoming more opaque.
- And it's got a new pink glow, thanks to the small capillaries that have recently formed.
via thebump.com

In exciting news, bV has a REAL name now, and everyone gets a hint today. If you already know you can't guess! When I tell smart and well-read people her first and middle name, their first comment is, "Like the author?"

Hump day, bump day (& an anniversary)!

bV is the size of a grapefruit!
At about 10.5 to 11.8 inches and about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces, baby's not just getting bigger, she's getting even cuter.

bV at 23 weeks: 
She's forming little nipples (yeah, really!) Her face is fully formed now -- she just needs a little extra fat to fill it out. She's listening to your voice and your heartbeat -- and even to loud sounds like cars honking and dogs barking. (& her brother telling her stories - more on that tomorrow!)
via thebump.com

In semi-related news, today is my Mom and Dad's 37th wedding anniversary. Listen, 37 years is a long ass time. I don't even know that I will like myself in 37 years. What I'm saying is that they're awesome -- a genuinely amazing example of love, marriage and all the hard work (and fun!) it takes to make it on this crazy adventure we call marriage.

And for the record? They're still as weirdly perfect together as ever. Dad's hair has gotten significantly (ahem) lighter and Mom's is significantly (ahem) chemically enhanced...but they're still the same lovebirds! Just with a few more years behind them, a few more grandbabies to brag about, and lots more adventures to still have!

Hump day, bump day!

bV is the size of a papaya!
During month five, the average fetus measures about 10.5 to 11.8 inches and weighs about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces.

bV at 22 weeks:
- Now that she's got more developed eyes and lips, she's looking even more like a newborn.
- She's sleeping in cycles -- about 12 to 14 hours per day (hint: they're probably those times you're not feeling any kicks!).

Ooohhh baby Sheila is riding HIGH. As I remember it from what was mostly a 9 month sleepy stupor, Alex was really low. I felt his kicks and movements below my belly button for sure, but Sheila girl is all up in my stuff. Literally. I've heard terrible, uncomfortable stories from other mothers about rib cage kicks and other below-the-boob shenanigans, and I fear that's what I'll be experiencing as bV starts to run out of expansion room over the next 17 or so odd weeks.

In what comes as no big surprise to anyone, I continue to purchase girly things like an insane woman, partly because the Internet is the greatest thing ever invented, and partly because girl stuff is irresistible. Three words: BABY LEG WARMERS.

In summary, I'm sorry in advance if etsy is sold out of all.the.things, because everything is currently en route to my house, instead. A few examples:

hat | poms (i got different colors, obvi) | changing pad cover | onesie | closet dividers | baby leg warmers

P.S. - We're NOT naming her Sheila.

Hump day, bump day!

bV is the size of a pomegranate!
At 10.5 inches and about 12.7 ounces, she's big enough now that you've probably been feeling her movements. I have and I forgot how weird and alien-y it is!

bV at 21 weeks:
- As her digestive system preps for the outside world, she's manufacturing meconium -- the tarry black substance you'll find in her first dirty diaper.
- She's already got a lifetime's supply of eggs in her womb -- about six million of them!
via thebump.com

Kind of a crappy picture this morning, but this was the one that my buddy wanted to get in and "hold his baby sister," so I sort of had to include it, you know?

We have bV's name narrowed down to 2...but Alex seems to be dead-set on one name: Sheila. Yes, you read that correctly. When we asked him his opinion on what we should name his sister he told us that God told him the baby's name was Sheila...which is a tough one to argue because Sheila is definitely not in our top 2 choices. We don't know anyone named Sheila, and there's not any characters named Sheila on any of the shows he watches. A mystery, for sure! If God for real wants us to name this baby Sheila I might need a few more signs for confirmation. See also: In stone a la Moses.

Hump day, bump day!

bV is the size of a banana!
She weighs about 10.2 ounces and measures about 6.5 inches. She's still got a lot of growing to do though.
bV at 20 weeks:
- She's got working taste buds.
- Now, she's gulping down several ounces of amniotic fluid each day -- that's significantly more than before.
via thebump.com

Halfway there, baby! As you can see, Alex is really digging this big brother stuff. He's aware that she's "coming out" right before Halloween, so this morning on the way to Aunt Jane's we were discussing possible Halloween costumes. He told me it had to be "little" to fit her, and asked if his giraffe costume would fit her, since he wore that "when he was only 2." Then I told him when he was a baby, he was Superman for Halloween...so he decided his sister should be Superbaby.