All The Single Ladies.

Single Moms, this one's for you:

YOU FRIGGIN' ROCK.

Joe has been out of town on business since Tuesday so Alex and I have been barely surviving in fake single mommy mode since then. It's SO. HARD.

Usually when I complain on le blog its mostly for attention and/or due to the fact that I have an insatiable flair for the dramatic. But I'm being totally honest when I tell you this flying solo thing is for the birds.

Exhibit A: Kristi has 7 am meeting. Alex cannot be dropped off at daycare any earlier than 7 am. You see the inherent problem? So I arranged to conference into the meeting via cell which is still harder than it sounds. I had to get myself totally ready and then woke up Alex...fed him, changed him and got him all bundled in the car seat. Picture me all dolled up for work (heels and all) trying to get my 17 lb. monster in his 10 lb. car seat out the door - all while balancing my laptop bag, purse, cell phone, keys AND trying to maintain a calm, cool business demeanor and actually make sense to the people on the other end of the call.

FAIL.

Today? 7:30 am meeting. I did it all again, only this morning Jake decided to lunge at me (while holding Alex) when I tried to put him outside. He's on his last life in the VW house and I am NOT kidding you.

The weekend cannot come fast enough.

I Wasn't Kidding.

Remember that new little fence? And the repurchased and replanted flowers? To hell in a handbasket. The little shit dug them up. Again. I have no idea how, since there was a FENCE IN THE WAY. And he only digs up that one spot - right where the new flowers were planted.

So I threw away the dead ones and moved some others to replant the area. Then I hit them with some Miracle Grow and SURROUNDED the area with chairs. Even Jake the Nazi Dog can't infiltrate it. Famous last words, I know.

He gets one. more. chance. I will have that lovely and floral summer backyard that I'm used to. Or else. You hear me Joey?

Sunday...Funday?

Blah. It's Sunday. But not just any Sunday...it's the dreaded Sunday, after which I (we) must return to work. It's been a glorious 2.5 weeks, and the time actually didn't fly by like I expected. We were able to spend a lot of time together (teetering on the edge of too much) and got a LOT done on the house. All in all, I would say it's been a success - just enough vacation balanced with just enough manual labor.

As for Jake, I think every day is Sunday for him. Lucky dog. Take a look at what we just caught him doing:

Yep, he's just chillin' with his butt in the snow, watching the the birds at the feeder. And although he looks sweet and innocent, I assure you his intentions are not. He's actually watching the birds in a feeble attempt to trick the squirrels. It's as if he's saying to them, "See? I'm just a nice dog, watching the birdies. You can come over here, little squirrels, and I will watch you, too." And by "watch," he assuredly means "chase all over the back yard until you outsmart me by going up a tree."

Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake.

Hi. My name is Jake. Well, everyone calls me "Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake," but I'm pretty sure the 'a' isn't supposed to be held for 3 seconds (or longer). It's really just "Jake." Whatever. I'll answer to most anything...even "Nancy" these days. (Mom and Dad are considering "Jacob" as a potential baby name, thus mine would have to change. This kid is seriously taking over my world!)



My Mid Midlife Crisis tagged me in a meme. The first time my Mom read the tag, she thought that it was a typo, and that MMMC really meant "memo"...but after a quick Googling she learned that 'meme' was, indeed, a real word. Go fig. Although she's pretty sure it's the wrong desciptor, we'll go with it.

Here are the rules...

1. Link to the person that tagged you. (Check)
2. Post the rules on your blog. (Check)
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. (Only six?)
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

(Because Mom doesn't consider herself a real blogger, we're ignoring rules 4 and 5. But if you read this blog and have a pet, feel free to play along!)

1. I know I already told you my name, but my REAL name when my Dad adopted me was "Captain Jack Sparrow." I know, it's totally weird - you might wonder how I survived on the streets with such a crappy name for all those years before Dad found me. But I made the other dogs in my dog gang call me "Fearless Leader," so it was all good. That's right - I was in a dog gang. I was their leader. We hunted squirrels. No one was safe from our humping and chasing.

2. My Mom's not really sure how I have any hair left on my body because it's all over the house. It drives her bonkers when she Swiffers, because it's like the cleaning never happened. Swiff, hair. Swiff, hair. Swiff, hair. I think it's amusing. She, on the other hand, does not. And you should see how full the Dyson is after she's done with the carpets!

3. I like to dig holes in the backyard - again, something Mom and Dad aren't such big fans of. But they don't understand that I HAVE to do it to bury my secret treasure for the fellow members of my dog gang. We cannot let the squirrels prevail!

4. I will pretty much eat anything, but I never beg. I will just patiently wait for you to give me your scraps. Oh, but not those tangerine things Mom has been eating lately. I'm NOT a fan of those. Yuck!

5. I love, love, love to run. I've secretly escaped a few times to work off some steam, but I always come back. I mean, who wouldn't come back to a warm house where you get lots of food and attention?

6. I have a secret weapon. But before I tell you, you have to paw-promise me that you won't tell my Mom and Dad. Deal? Deal. So, the secret weapon is my eyes. I have this look that I give my mom and dad when I reeeeaaaaallly, reeeeeaaaalllyyy, want something. It works every. single. time.

So, that's pretty much it. I'm a pretty cool dog...but I must stress again how much this kid thing is freaking me out. What if he gets my table scraps? I will so not be cool with that.

I Need A Vacation.

And lucky for me, my wish has been granted.

It's nothing fancy - no cocktails and sunshine - but it is a break from the everyday stresses of work and the shiteous economy in general. Much needed by many, I think.

We're off Dec. 24 - Jan. 11, and have so much planned! I'm going to be an organizing FREAK! The basement? It will shine like the top of the Chrysler building! The dining room? It will be painted and have chair rails and floor moulding! The nursery? It will be painted, decorated and organized as if WIP were going to be born on the 12th!

In all seriousness, we'll probably get to about 50% of what's on my list. Progress is progress, though, right?

In other news, Jake was tagged by a fellow blogger. (If you're a teacher, check her blog out - you'll love it!) I'm still learning the rules of being an official "blogger," as I really just consider this my platform for all my irrational and slightly amusing thoughts. But, I understand a tag means I've gotta do it...So, look for a "special edition" blog from Jake to come soon!

My Tree & My Boys.

Here it is, in all its glory:



I honestly don't think another ornament would fit if we tried. Well, we could put more around the bottom, but Jake's tail knocks them off if we do. :) He's actually been very good around the tree--just did some preliminary sniffing and let it be.

And here's my boys all tuckered out after a long day of decorating:



I just love them. If WIP's a girl, we even the score. If not, I'm soooo outnumbered!

Walk It Out.

Last night I actually had the energy to go for a walk! We went around the block, which was fun - and Jake loved it! Our street and the few around us all take Halloween pretty seriously, so we got to spy on their decorations. We even discovered Joe's nemesis has a bat box! (The nemesis story is a funny one - we each have one on the street. Mine is a drives a different car every day and has impeccable taste in decorating/landscaping. Joe's is a guy that moved in about the same time he did - and they were always silently competing in home renovation projects. Don't let this story fool you, we're actually really fun neighbors to have!)

Anyway, I'm getting kind of excited for Halloween this year. Most of you already know that I live and breathe for the Christmas season, but now that I'll be able to participate in Halloween as a mom - you know, dressing the kids up, taking them trick-or-treating, stealing their candy - I'm actually starting to like it! And since Grandpa Greg will steal all the Butterfingers, I call dibs on Milk Duds!

Aside from the slight boost in energy, I'm still not feeling all that awesome. It was chair massage day at work today, so that was probably the highlight. :) Enjoy what's left of your Thursday - tomorrow is Friday!!!