Friday, December 30, 2011

Some people are just meant to be together.

Allow me to set the stage: it's 9:30ish and some change at casa de VeeDub this evening. Joey is sprawled out on one couch, rocking his finest pair of fish pajama bottoms and a tee shirt that may or may not have been washed in the last week. He's on his eleventieth episode in a row of "American Pickers" and is also halfheartedly flipping through the pages of the most recent HOUR Detroit.

Similarly, I am sprawled on the adjacent couch, nomming on my Camelbak jug filled with water only because my body is so desperately deprived of nutrients and agua due to the fact that I've fed it nothing but wine, champagne, vodka and Chex Mix for the last week. I'm in a similar getup, though I would never be caught dead in fishing sweatpants, so mine are of the classier Victoria's Secret variety. I'm also well into my seven hundredth game of euchre on the iPad, cursing at my virtual partner for calling hearts on nothing but a 9 and Q. What a whore.

Anyway, Joey musters all the energy he has left from what you can deduce from the above was an incredibly exciting and riveting evening to roll over and announce to me that Sunday is a BIG day.

"Babe, you know that Sunday is like, a HUGE football day. Like, all day."

Please note that this is my queue to read between the lines and instead hear, "Babe, I'm not doing anything on Sunday. So don't try any of your funny tricks on me. No Home Goods. No DSW. No 'family adventures'  to the aquarium because it's Sunday and you have a coupon. I'm only doing football."

Message received, good sir. But little does he know that my plans for Sunday include much, much less activity than his. And so, I reply with:

"Babe, I hope you know that I might not even shower on Sunday."

Elation fills his face and he replies with the same genuine love and adoration he had as he spoke his wedding vows to me some four years ago:

"I love you so much right now it's not even funny."

Like I said, some people were just meant to be. We're those people.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas from the VeeDubs!

An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." -Luke 2:9-12

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Workplace 101.

  1. Take all personal calls (yes, this includes job interviews) in the hallway. Or a conference room.
  2. Do not clip your nails at your desk. Do I really need to say this again?
  3. Wear deodorant.
  4. Do not wear copious amounts of perfume. Or cologne.
  5. Do not make up words. It definitely does NOT make you sound smarter.
  6. Unless you literally work in the healthcare field, you are not saving lives. Don't act like you are.
  7. Leave your smelly lunches at home. See also: tuna, thai food, questionable meats.
  8. Reply when someone says 'hello' back in the elevator. You can even grunt it. I promise it won't kill you. Unless you are a zombie. Then, just stay away.
  9. If my headphones are in, it's likely that I'm ignoring you on purpose.
  10. If you're not laughing at least twice a day, you're not doing it right.
It really is that simple, people.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Time travel.

I was looking through my old cell phone pictures when I was supposed to be paying attention in a meeting yesterday and came across this one:

This was one of the most perfect mornings of my life. My Mom took it back in November when we were visiting Kelli, David and Samuel. We were having a lazy morning, just lounging and playing with our boys. Just minutes later, Alex climbed up and joined the party and the three of us read whatever riveting child literature Samuel was obviously studying in this moment. Sometimes, life is just perfect.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Like mother, like son.

Guess who loves the Sunday sale papers almost as much as his Momma?

He only cares to look at the Toys 'R Us insert, and always grabs it first. He calls it "looking at the toy newspaper." When he finally gets the dexterity to clip coupons, I will be in heaven.

And don't you just love his Hugh Hefner Mickey jammies? Thanks, Grammi & Poppi!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Fat man 2011.

Alex was WAY pumped to visit Santa this year. I invite you to recap years 1 and 2 for proof that he hasn't always been so keen on the fat man and his red suit.

This year, however, couldn't have been more fun. It was all he talked about in the 2 days leading up to our big adventure. And let it be known that he is very specifically asking for a "big blue monster truck" and is promising that he's been a good boy (debatable). He sat on Santa's lap and chatted like they were old pals. He even gave him a high five and said "See you later, Santa. Nice to meet you!" as he walked away. Top ten Mom Moment, for sure.

As you can see, we continued our tradition of the free photos and activities at Bass Pro Shops. Grammi, Poppi, Uncle Kyle and Aunt Jill joined in on the fun, too. Uncle Kyle even got himself caught in a snowball fight (and lost). Alex throws like a girl...but apparently put on his game face for this particular match:

And Daddy and Poppi were, as usual, tremendously useful in holding up large, immobile objects.

In other news, Christmas is LESS THAN two weeks away. Squeeeeeeee!!!!!

Update: Kyle sent me this cell phone video of Alex's initial walk up to Santa. You can see how eager he was...walked right up and started chatting away.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Mind in the gutter.

Ok. So I was spending some time on Etsy this afternoon looking for Christmas pillows (note: got these) and for some reason THIS product was in my feed. I literally spit my Diet Cherry Pepsi out my nose when I saw it.

I know it's a maternity shirt. And I know the sentiment is rather lovely. But I just can't help giggling like an idiot everytime I think about it in the other way. You know, like if Joey wore it.

Not that I bought it for him or anything...

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Just another Thursday.

Birthday bootcamp is officially over...but what a week it was!

Let's recap Day 7, shall we? In a backwards twist, Joey actually took yesterday off work. He did all sorts of things that needed doing (groceries, car washes, etc.) and surprised me by putting up the Christmas lights at our house.

And sometime around 3 pm, he texted me this:

EEEEEE! I literally could not get my work done fast enough. I hightailed it home (but first went to the dentist because apparently I am a masochist and go to the dentist on my brithday) to tear that paper off!

And before I can tell you what was in the box, you need a little backstory.

About 3 months ago, I found a chair at HomeGoods that I absolutely ADORED. And we all know that when you find something at HomeGoods you MUST buy it right then and there for fear it might not be there upon return. I took a picture and texted it to Joey, who was hesitant because we don't have a ton of room to store things (I was in a buying mood for the new house - more on that later). However, I used my ninja skillz on him and he eventually gave in and I bought it.

I just adore it. (And also? Please note that it totally matches my Lill bag I made last time I was in Chicago. Who buys a chair to match a purse? --> thisgirl <--)

Fast forward to about a month ago, when I was in Connecticut. Imagine my delight, shock and awe when I waltzed into Pier 1 (of all places) and laid my eyes on this puppy:

GASP! A matching chair! But different enough style-wise to look totally awesome with my OTHER one! Obviously, I couldn't get it home from CT, but I could surely buy it once I got to Michigan, right? Wrong. The thought of buying and storing another chair for a house we won't move into until June (again, more on that later) sent my dear, sweet Joey into a tailspin. Men just don't get it.

Joey, on the other hand....did get it...eventually. And I'm guessing you can totally guess what was in the box, right? THE CHAIR FROM PIER 1! And the even better news is that he scoured the earth to find one still in the box so we can store it easily until June. Woooooooo!!!

In another twist, you should all know that when I texted my Mom last night in excitement re: the chair (since she was with me when I saw it in CT), her reply was, "Oh, how awesome! Do you have room for 2 of them?" Apparently, she got me one for Christmas. I love that my family gets me. A girl and her chairs...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Birthday Boocamp update.

I suppose we left off at Day 2. So here's what we've been up to for 3-6.

Day 3: We were at my Mom's house for the weekend, so Alex delivered my spreesprises to me after breakfast. I got 2 fun size Pay Days and a cute pack of snowflake tealight holders. They go perfectly with my PartyLite Nativity scene!

Day 4: My favorite gift so far--he got me a pack of the Sally Hansen Salon Effects nail stickers. The coolest part is that he totally found them on his own! These things are SO cool--I didn't even know they existed. They are thin little "stickers" of REAL nailpolish in fun, cool designs like zebra, plaid, houndstooth and sparkles. He got me the pink ones, natch. They might be my new favorite thing - super durable and WAY easy to apply. And no waiting for real polish to dry...comes in handy with a toddler. They have fun holiday ones like snowflakes and candy cane stripes that I'm going to pick up tonight to use when this one wears off. And I guess you can just remove it like normal nailpolish - we shall see!

Day 5: Another delivery from Alex (he even drew/colored in all my cards!) - three yummy new chapsticks and 2 more Pay Days.

Day 6: This morning, my sweet boys delivered me 2 more Pay Days, a card, tons of smooches (my fave!) and a yummy candle.

I think everyone should celebrate Birthday Bootcamp. Maybe I could trademark it and make trillions? In the meantime, I will keep it all to myself.

Tomorrow I will be TWENTY NINE. OMG.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Day two.

This morning's spreesprises were strategically located near my keys, since I had to leave super early for lame meetings and other corporate shenanigans that help put Cheez-its in my cupboard and Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi in my fridge. Priorities, people. Anyway, I was the proud recipient of a new sunglasses clip for my car (since *cough*Joey*cough* broke my old one), 2 more Pay Days (note: they are fun size...makes me feel less guilty about the quantity consumed) and Yankee candle air fresheners. All very sweet and thoughtful things from my boys!

In related news, we're headed to my parents' house this weekend--spanning the bootcamp celebrations far and wide! #occupybirthdaybootcamp needs to start trending. Make it happen.

Thursday, December 1, 2011


People, people, people! It's that time of year...


For my new readers or those with selective amnesia, birthday bootcamp is one, whole week of ME. Specifically, the week leading up to my birthday, one of the top 10 holidays in North America.

This morning, my card and spreesprises were waiting for me by the coffee pot (yes, I'm still going strong with the at-home morning brewing...). I got a new magnetic notecard for the fridge, a little "K" journal and 2 Pay Days from my boys. Then, at work, I got these:

Seven gerber daises. One for each of the days of BDBC. And pink!